S06, E11: The man, the myth, the legend: Archibald the Celebrant

Eddy: You’re the best dressed guest we’ve ever had straight off the bat, I would say. I hope I’m not going to get in trouble for that. We’re –

Aleks: Not recording.

Eddy: Now we are. Yeah, it’s been recording for a while, so insert that as the beginning of the – of the podcast. Sweet. All right. Today we are very excited to be chatting to a fellow triple –

Aleks: Threat. Triple Threat. How dare you triple –

Archie: Threat. Triple threat?

Aleks: Archie, Archie. Archie.

Eddy: This celebrant or – oh.

Aleks: I like that actually. I know, I thought about that.

Eddy: Archibald – or Archibald – is a celebrant, MC, and saxophonist based in Melbourne. Yay.

Aleks: Right in Melbourne.

Eddy: Right in Melbourne.

Aleks: In the CBD, guys, in the –

Eddy: CBD. Yeah. He also provides a service where he interviews your wedding guests for what he calls wedding banter videos, which obviously we’ll hear about later on.

Aleks: For the – for the weddings he’s booked on, it makes it sound like he’s rocked up –

Eddy: To random weddings, gatecrashing.

Archie: Like roaming, BT style and –

Eddy: It’s like, OK, pay me now.

Aleks: Yeah, let it be all at the end.

Eddy: To take the rest.

Aleks: Yes, so we’re going to make Archibald blush and share some of what clients have had to say about him on Google.

Eddy: This is – yeah, this is your client.

Aleks: This is my – this is my old school intro style, which I’m sorry to our previous guests on this season because I haven’t done this. Sorry, sorry about that. “Archibald was an absolute superstar as a celebrant, MC, and saxophonist. His ability to keep everyone entertained was incredible. Our guests couldn’t stop raving about him. He brought so much joy and energy.” He’s blushing. That’s sweet.

Archie: That’s sweet. Thanks, guys.

Aleks: There’s two more. “He has a knack for reading the crowd and being the life of the party on his saxophone.” Only when you’ve got the saxophone.

Archie: Yeah, not the MC. Forget about it.

Aleks: “From the heartfelt ceremony to the lively entertainment, he made the day run so smoothly.” Oh, I like the next one. I don’t think I’ve had a review like this before. “If you want a young, fresh talent…” How long ago was this written? Yeah, don’t you – you can tell a ripper story with a bit of mayo on top. On top. I like that. “And then capture the chaos of the guests on camera, Archie is the man.”

Archie: I wish I could remember who wrote that one. That’s really –

Aleks: I know, sorry. We should – it just says review one.

Eddy: Well, I mean, these surely have to be slapped on your website somewhere. Like, these are amazing.

Archie: They will, I think. I think that third one is the mayo.

Eddy: Good, good, good. The mayo. Extra mayo, please.

Archie: I love – I – I love the research you guys did.

Eddy: You –

Archie: You dive right in. Thank you guys, that’s – that’s really –

Eddy: Sweet. Welcome, welcome.

Aleks: Welcome.

Eddy: It’s great to have you here.

Archie: Honoured to be here, guys, thanks for having me. I wish I wore more than a T-shirt, but I do have a look.

Aleks: We have had a chat about your wardrobe and how casual you are.

Eddy: It’s pretty casual, yeah. Like, I wear suits for weddings, I don’t know, I totally casual it up when I’m not, you know, behind the decks.

Aleks: And what –

Eddy: About Archie? I know. Well, maybe – maybe I’m missing a trick, you know?

Archie: I totally understand, but I’m a bit of a “there’s no such thing as overdressing” kind of guy. Yeah, I – I tend to just like to show off a bit, you know? I’m a slut for the spotlights.

Eddy: Well, it’s amazing that you ended up in this industry with –

Aleks: Yes. How did that come about? Now, actually, on that point, let’s talk about this because I read on your website that you’ve had over 10 years of experience as an event coordinator, which I’m very interested to hear about, and a professional muso. So tell us a little bit about that and how you got into weddings and when that was.

Why Archie Ditched DJing for Saxophone Mastery

Archie: Yeah, so I guess the pathway into the wedding industry was through my saxophone playing as a musician. Was playing in a band for nearly 10 years, a band called Sunnyside, and had pretty good sort of levels of success there. We toured and did albums and – and played the festival scene for a – for a long time there as well. And that was really fun. And by virtue of being with the the band and running, I guess, gigs and events, I guess that’s why I kind of call that event coordinating. And yeah, I was, I was kind of half stepping in and sharing the managerial role with that band. So that gave me a lot of experience with the whole running of events as well, as well as the fact that, yeah, I come from a teaching background. I’m – I’m a qualified high school classroom music and performing arts teacher as well. And I was doing that. I like to say I’m a recovering teacher.

Aleks: Gosh.

Archie: Yeah, these days I still am technically registered as a teacher, but I – I only very rarely do the – the actual substitute teaching. I call it glorified prison wardening. Yeah, ’cause just fuck that. So yeah, I’m, I’m, I’m very slowly kind of transitioning out of that into more full-time musician and – and wedding stuff. But yeah, so kind of by virtue of the the music industry stuff and my role as a teacher and just like skills that you pick up in things like classroom management and – and behaviour management and things like that, very applicable in –

Aleks: Yes.

Aleks: Room wrangling, yes. Yeah.

Archie: Working a crowd, getting them to sit down and – and you know, yeah, take a spot.

Eddy: 100%. It’s funny you mention that, because when I have a really, really rowdy crowd and, you know, we’ve all been there, it’s really hard. So, OK, who are the teachers in the house? And they’ll just get straight onto it. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Thank you, always on.

Archie: It’s – it’s such a thing, right? So, yeah, through mostly the saxophone and all that sort of stuff, kind of just, yeah, started in the industry firstly as a saxophone player and – and – and the DJing side of things and through the sort of agency. And they gave me some decks and then I was doing that for about 18 months and then I just – I don’t know how you guys do it. I –

Aleks: Like, what happened to the –

Eddy: DJ? I didn’t know –

Archie: This, and I still get asked. I still get asked if I’m a DJ as well. But no, I gave that away pretty quickly because –

Eddy: So let’s unpack this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ask because –

Aleks: Why? Why?

Archie: Well, I was finding a couple of things. I didn’t – I just didn’t enjoy the DJing things. I liked being able to be out on the dance floor. I found that I was – I was kind of compromising on the best of both things in that if I was a DJ-sax hybrid, I would need to be behind the decks quickly queuing up a track, playing it, then grab the sax, out on the D-floor, 30 seconds worth of tushy shaking, and then back behind the decks queuing up another track. So I wasn’t fully present and actually properly mixing. I was basically just curating and pressing play on the next track, as well as I wasn’t fully present for like two or three songs worth of time out on the dance floor as a sax player. A lot of sax-DJ hybrids do the long-play mixes where they’ll do like three or four tracks –

Eddy: In like a medley.

Archie: It’s like a medley thing, but I find that that doesn’t allow you much freedom in terms of if you need to suddenly switch it up.

Eddy: Yep. Yeah, I can – so you’re –

Archie: Kind of locked in for three or four songs. And if that – and if that kills the crowd, then you’ve kind of – you’ve kind of still got to just got to do –

Eddy: That, sinking with the ship.

Archie: That’s right, yeah.

Aleks: Smiling and bear it.

Archie: So I found that I was kind of compromising on the best of both things with that, as well as the fact that it’s just – it just became a numbers game as well. Like, I was getting similar sort of offers in terms of the invoicing and quoting for five hours of DJ-sax, which required bump-in time with all the PA gear – living in an apartment eight floors up and now car park six floors underground, three trips just up and back just to get a PA system. Now I was finding I was getting a similar sort of offer in terms of money for five hours versus two hours of saxophone on a dance floor. Rock out, plug in and play. See you later. Yeah, yeah. No-brainer.

Eddy: Yeah, oh, 100%. Yeah, 100%.

Aleks: Yeah, I think – I think, yeah, as a sax player, DJ hybrid, you have to find that happy medium very comfortable to rock.

Archie: And there are so many of them who are like excellent at it. Yeah, team, the DJ-Sax, Harry Cooper, like all these excellent, excellent players. But I found that, yeah, because they have the DJ and the sax thing going on and possibly emceeing as well – yep, triple threat right there, right there. Whereas I had the celebrant thing. Yeah, I can lean on. Yeah, totally.

Aleks: That’s –

Archie: It’s kind of almost a bit of a niche that I’ve found myself in as well.

Aleks: Well, I don’t know. Are there any other celebrant-MC sax players?

Archie: Shout out to my boy Jay Allen. He’s a little bit older, but –

Eddy: Yeah, yeah, he’s been kicking around for a –

Aleks: While, he’s a quadruple threat, though, because he does –

Eddy: Because he does DJ.

Archie: He does.

Eddy: Too, as well. I never forget I saw a video of him – I don’t think he’d ever listen to this show, but like, maybe he does – and he’s playing the Nutbush, and he ran out to do the Nutbush with the crowd. Cool. I’m like, wow.

Aleks: Tower vibe, too. Nah.

Eddy: No, nothing against that obviously, but I thought it was the phone.

Archie: As well.

Aleks: Yeah, that would –

Eddy: Be – no, that would actually, Jay Allen, if you are listening, that’s the next video I wanna see.

Aleks: Now, is that something you do?

Archie: The Nutbush as well?

Aleks: As well, you play the sax.

Archie: I have done it once or twice, but I’m not –

Eddy: How does the coordination go on, yeah, ’cause you’re –

Archie: I’m usually pretty good with the dance moves whilst I’m playing.

Eddy: Yeah, yeah. But that’s kind of a free –

Archie: That’s right. You’re not bound by Tina Turner moves, right? Yeah.

Aleks: Funny, the bloody moves. Anyway, we digress. So yeah, I mean, so DJ wasn’t – that’s fine.

Eddy: It’s a great song. I love the –

Aleks: Song. Oh, God, we know. We know. Yeah.

Eddy: Moving –

Archie: On, it’s a bit blue, like disco, it’s –

Aleks: Yes, that blue light disco like that. Yeah, we’ll be saying primary school disco, blue –

Eddy: Light, yes.

Aleks: Same crap.

Archie’s Journey to Celebrancy and Transparent Pricing

Aleks: So then how did the celebrant thing come along?

Archie: Yeah. So by virtue of giving away the – the deejaying side of things –

Aleks: Yeah, I’m not doing enough.

Archie: Yeah, I was like, fuck, I still want to be in the wedding industry, and I wasn’t quite getting enough sax-only gigs just yet. Yeah, I hadn’t quite established myself fully in the scene. And then I figured I’d probably also attended one or two ceremonies and thought to myself, “I could do that, and maybe I could do that better than one or two that I’d seen.” And then I figured, yeah, already pretty confident with the public speaking side of things through my teaching. I also kind of thought, yeah, by virtue of being a bloke, youngish bloke in an industry that is celebrancy, kind of dominated by middle-aged women, that, yeah, I was just finding a bit of – a bit of scope there for me to maybe slot in and get some work. And I lean right into the – even though I’m not kind of dressed that way today, but I do lean right into the country boy based in Melbourne. Huge ass, full nasal accent like –

Aleks: They put it on the bin.

Archie: I can dial it up and down. You got –

Eddy: It, don’t we all? We’re all – we all put on that mask. Exactly. Get out there. You gotta – you gotta do it.

Archie: You know, wherever – wherever, get the invoices right?

Aleks: Yeah. But hi, couples. Yeah.

Eddy: Hey, it’s just nice to have some honesty.

Archie: Oh man, I’m – I’m as authentic as I get, off. Ask me anything, I’ll answer, obviously.

Aleks: Yeah, yeah, that’s true. I think I’m a middle-aged woman. Just I’m, I’m having an existential crisis. Yeah, depends.

Archie: On how millennials are we or whatever we’re trying to go for.

Aleks: How –

Eddy: Old are you going –

Aleks: To live, obviously elder –

Eddy: Millennials. Elder millennials? Yeah, something wrong with that. It’s good. You know you’ve got that wisdom and you –

Archie: I know what you mean. I’m more relaxed. I can’t – I say youngish now. I used to say young, but I’m fucking 34, so like –

Eddy: I mean, not –

Aleks: Young, according to this Google review number three, you’re a young, fresh and –

Archie: Fresh.

Aleks: Talent. Do you feel fresh?

Archie: Young and fresh? I don’t know.

Aleks: About feeling fresh.

Archie: Not at the end of the season, no.

Aleks: No one’s feeling fresh, but you know what? You put it on and they think that you’re young and fresh, which is the important thing, so that’s fine.

Archie: I appreciate you. Here’s your 50 bucks per second.

Eddy: Thank –

Aleks: You. 50, what can you get for 50 these days, right? Come on.

Eddy: That’s true. What –

Aleks: Are we saying what are pints? 19 – 19 dollars.

Archie: $19.00 down.

Aleks: Cotton.

Archie: Yeah, especially at that Paris end of the city where I live.

Eddy: That used to be the airport shock, like $20.00 for a pint, but now it’s like 20 for a pint at the airport.

Aleks: Only 25 and only 35 for a parma. Wow, what a happy hour, $60.00.

Archie: Yeah, there’s $60.00 pot and parma deal. Yeah, Pot and Parma.

Eddy: Oh wow, yeah. What is this timeline that we’re all living in?

Aleks: We’re gonna, well, we’ll report back on the – on the airport. We’re gonna be at the airport on Sunday. Oh.

Archie: Yes, we’re off to on Sunday –

Eddy: Bali. Hell yeah, needs to do it.

Archie: Is it – is it like a break or just?

Eddy: Just a – just a little break. Nice. Yeah, yep. No, no work.

Aleks: Well, there’s always a little bit of –

Archie: You’re always answering emails, yeah.

Eddy: There’s some leads coming in that we obviously, but that’s, you know, you’re –

Archie: Running your business.

Aleks: Well, we are actually meeting up with – with a, we can’t expense it now, we’re meeting up –

Eddy: Another saxophonist.

Aleks: Who is actually?

Archie: A local base DJ.

Eddy: He will be – he’s a ripper bloke. You really like him.

Aleks: He’s from New Zealand and we met him in the US randomly and he –

Archie: You were there last year, right? You went over for like –

Eddy: A conference. So he was at that conference, yeah. And we met him there, right? Met him there, really nice dude. And yeah, he’s – so he does the DJ-sax thing, but he wants to break out of the DJing. He’s more interested in just the sax sort of stuff. So it might be that’s the guy a conversation.

Archie: Tell him to hit me up, I’ll give him the tips. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Aleks: He anyway, but it’s so funny, so we saw him in the US and then every time he’s like, oh, I’m coming – he’s moving in a couple of months to Melbourne, but he’s like, “I’m going to be in Melbourne this week,” and we’re like, we’re currently off Dubai on Sunday. He’s like, oh, so am I? We’re like, all right, we’ll just see you in Bali. How –

Eddy: Is that? So we’re going to go see five facilities with – yeah, yeah. Yeah, we’re doing – oh yeah.

Aleks: Yeah, missed out on last time, we got a ticket but I had bali belly, so let’s his –

Eddy: Partner has been living in Melbourne for a while, but he’s been like, globetrotting, doing this with dance. Insane. What does that say, dude? But she worked this episode just about our friends, Goldman Sachs players that we know, yeah.

Aleks: Goldman Sachs is his name.

Eddy: His Goldman name’s got the – yeah, it’s Goldman Sachs. Yeah. What’s his – that’s his surname, isn’t it? Yeah, Sam. Sam and Goldman, anyway.

Aleks: Sorry.

Eddy: Here. Sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m just excited –

Aleks: About that, we’re excited about.

Archie: That no I’m –

Aleks: Excited about Airport Pints? That’s what we’re talking about. We’ll report back on the cost of a car and draft. We digress. And what’s the name of that pub? I don’t know, called the airport shit.

Archie: Isn’t –

Eddy: It’s, it’s one of the worst in me. It’s like one of the best airport in the world award. Am I who – who gave that award out ’cause it’s last time I was there?

Archie: Like poor Changi, you know, in Singapore. Like, fuck, what does it have to do to get an award?

Eddy: Like, how many Louis Vuitton bags do you need at the airport?

Archie: Right? Doesn’t even have a right rail to it, give –

Eddy: Me some more pubs or something like, come on. Yeah.

Aleks: The pubs are dismal.

Archie: Or a train line.

Eddy: Anything. Anything. Anyway, let’s get back on – back on track.

Aleks: Yes. Well, so because you started off with the sax, yeah, do you lead with the sax or do you leave the celebrant or doesn’t –

Archie: Matter as in how do I kind of advertise myself in marketing? Yeah, these days I, I like to advertise myself as a sax-playing celebrant because I find that the, the saxophone work is more the bread and butter. It’s more consistent. It’s more, I guess, what I’m known for. And I – I’m always looking for more opportunities to do ceremonies because it’s – it’s almost rare that I’ll get a couple who hit me up and just say, “Just want you to be a celebrant.”

Aleks: Same with us, right?

Archie: So ’cause, ’cause you, you, you get value added for, for your multiple roles, your multiple skills, right? Yeah. And it makes sense for a couple, right? It’s just a couple of less people to have to email and coordinate with. Totally. So, so yeah, I try to go for sax-playing celebrant, celebrant first. Knowing that I’m, yeah, like pretty confident that if I get them on board as a celebrant, I can sort of, if woo them, not even woo them, generally speaking, they’re like, “Oh yeah, that’s what he is. We might as well get him on for sax.” Yeah.

Aleks: That’s why we’re getting –

Archie: Him. Yeah. Well, yeah, because celebrants, as we know, we’re a dime a dozen. Yeah. And so I find, yeah, that that alone is enough to kind of keep you busy.

Eddy: Yeah. And so how many gigs or how many weddings would you do where you do both things? So is it most weddings that you do the sax for or?

Archie: Yeah, so I kind of look at it this way. I’ll – I still pretty – so 50% of my bookings are still saxophone only. Yep, which is fine. And the other 50% of that would be saxophone plus something. Sorry, celebrant plus something, whether it’s celebrant-MC or celebrant-saxophone. It’s – it’s rare that I’ll get just like one of those rides, but it almost always involves saxophone of some element, right? And then you just, you just sort of discuss with the couple what they want in terms of how the saxophone unfolds, right? Like sometimes I don’t even want the full 2 hours. Like 2 hours is kind of the standard. But at the end of that two hours, that you’ve had two hours of saxophone blasting in your face. So sometimes they just want the one hour or they may want to split the hours. They may want the smooth stuff through dinner or cocktail canape hour and then another one through sort of after the formalities when the dance floor opens up. So yeah, I try to advertise as a celebrant first, but I’m not mad if I get a saxophone-only booking because it means that I can rock up at 8:30, punch out at 10:30 and say see you later, as opposed to having to be there at 4:00 and then –

Aleks: Like, automated –

Archie: Days. Yeah, massive days for you guys.

Eddy: Right. So just – so if they choose to get you for cocktail vibes and then sort of an after-dance floor, how – how do you kind of price that out like?

Archie: It’s a good question, yeah. And it’s one that I’ve been having discussions with – with a lot of people lately because you, you can’t just book a saxophone player because I’ll give them the option to split, right? You can’t just go, “Oh, would you mind just doing the bridal party entry for us and then one hour after all the formalities are…”

Eddy: Done. That’s three hours hanging around, like, yeah.

Archie: Yeah. So say, for example, full disclosure, should I advertise what my prices are? I don’t –

Eddy: Care, do whatever you want. At this point in time, it’s –

Archie: On my website.

Eddy: So, yeah, at this point in time, obviously if you listen to this podcast in three years, they’re probably going to be different. It’s 2050.

Archie: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Full disclosure, my 2-hour saxophone quoting price is about $1200, and that’s not cheap, but that’s kind of a reflection of experience. And yeah, but – but so I’m aware that that’s not cheap. So I do like to give a couple of different options with the ability to split or just go with the one hour. But then if couples go with the one hour, they might say, “Great, we’d love to have you just for the one hour after the dance floor opens up.” But that’s not as – and then I’ll go, “Oh, actually, we really love that song, Jabel, would you mind doing that for our bridal party entry?” I haven’t heard, never heard that song. If I had a dollar, anyway. So, “Would you mind doing the saxophone on our bridal party entry as well at 6:00 PM?” So I’ll go, OK, it’s not as simple as me just halving that invoice for – for the sake of doing one hour because that’s three hours of me sitting around. So I just half one of the hours. Yeah.

Aleks: It’s like idle time, kind –

Archie: Of yeah, it’s sitting around time, and – and so therefore sometimes couples then come back and say, “It’s actually not – it’s gonna be more worth our while going the – the $1200 for full 2 hours, yeah, as opposed to $900.00 of bridal party entry only and one hour, yeah.”

Aleks: Of course.

Archie: Yeah, so I try – it’s.

Aleks: Kind of where you’re steering them to.

Eddy: And it’s – and that’s, and that’s fair as well. And I think there’s an education piece in there too with – and we find this too with some of our pricing and well, I, you know, for – for me, my opportunity cost is booking at 1200. That’s got to be factored –

Aleks: In, or a celebrant-sax-MC.

Eddy: Or whatever it is. So it’s like if I take, yeah, cool. But I know that around the course, particularly in like high season –

Archie: March or November dates, right?

Eddy: Bang, like – and that’s where we just don’t have any. Like, we’re very rigid ourselves personally.

Aleks: Way more flexible for a Winter Thursday, of course, you know. But yeah, we’re, we’re small business owners, right? There’s only so much work we can physically do –

Eddy: Ourselves. Saturdays in the, yeah.

Aleks: Exactly. Exactly.

Archie: Get bang for –

Aleks: Your buck, you do. So, yeah, I think it’s – I think couples need to be aware of that. We with suppliers that have been around for a while, you know, I mean, a lot of photographers will do that. They’ll do – they’ll have a cap. I mean, a lot of vendors, not necessarily –

Eddy: Photographers. Photographers is a good –

Aleks: Example because –

Eddy: They specifically do cap themselves. They will.

Aleks: Say, “I’ve –”

Eddy: Got so much post-production work, and that’s the thing with what we does and I’m not sure what – and we can talk about this. I’m not sure what sort of happens after people. Obviously you’ve got to go to the BDM, register, all that kind of stuff. But for us DJs, and this is a conversation I’ve had a lot with Tim, the DJs-sax like in terms of like what we get paid and you’d be included in this too. We get paid probably quote-unquote the most if you break it down from an hour basis. On an hourly rate, whereas like your photographer will then go and do 12 to 15 hours of post-production. So they’re, yeah, capping it obviously. Charging what –

Aleks: They – they’re still earning –

Eddy: More. Yeah. Well, yeah.

Archie: It’s a good point, but to which I would say you’re charging for the years that it took to get that good, not necessarily for the – the two hours, four hours, five hours worth of work that you were doing on the day. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, that – that was a good way for me to kind of reframe it when I was kind of starting out because I, I would always feel bad about like increasing my prices in line with kind of supply and demand, right. But you go, “Actually, no, I’ve spent 20 years perfecting this craft. I’ve got all the –” like, there are some brilliant sax players out there, but they may not play kind of as much on the dance floor. They don’t get as sweaty as I do. They may not have the kind of tricks that I do. I’ve, yeah, yeah, I get pretty wonky with those knees on a dance floor. So, like –

Aleks: You are young, though.

Eddy: Yeah, you’re a bit young and fresh.

Archie: Young, young and fresh. Don’t feel fresh the following day.

Aleks: Tomorrow he’s like a little tagline under his logo. He’s gonna be young, fresh –

Eddy: Yeah.

Archie: Yeah, yeah, on – on the Project Engaged, I’m just update my – my guy.

Eddy: I’m just thinking of a title for this podcast, so you know, we’ll have to use it.

Aleks: I’ve just said celebrant, MC and saxman Archie. I mean, Archie, Archie, Archie. Anyway, there you go. That’s – that works well, yes. What were we talking about? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And what’s the – yeah. And look at it. And we can obviously do because we don’t have that post-production stuff, we can also pick up too. But then you’ve got to think about the energy that’s involved in that as well. So that’s right. There’s a whole bang for your buck. Yeah. But couples don’t want to hear about that. But just consider it when you are inquiring. And yeah, the price of –

Eddy: There is a reason why there are price differentials out there, there isn’t there? I mean, they should know that.

Archie: But a lot of people, I understand, you do get the occasional question where it’s like they’re almost asking you to justify your prices, and that tells you about them as well, like their background and what kind of work they do. And you just go, “All right,” you just got to kind of set expectations. And then you, you almost by the time you get a question back about things like pricing as opposed to process, you’re almost kind of ruling yourself out with that couple. At that point, you’re going, “All right. Well, just go with something cheaper.”

Eddy: Was there a time that you didn’t have your pricing on your website?

Archie: No, I’ve always –

Eddy: That’s interesting. Yeah, ’cause we initially didn’t for a while and then when we did, obviously the – the leads fell to the wayside. But we just got rid of quality leads. So you probably had good quality, qualified leads for the whole time.

Archie: The reason? Yeah, exactly. You nailed it. I think it was just because I wanted to quickly rule people out who were just window shopping. Yeah, I wanted to – I wanted to make sure that the person who was coming through with the lead was someone who’d probably seen me in person and gone, “I want that.” Yeah. Or, or at least been told very strongly by a – a friend of a friend. Yeah. And yeah, that’s kind of stronger, right? That word-of-mouth stuff.

Vendors’ Perspective: Planning Our Own Big Day

Archie: Yeah, definitely. And it’s not – it’s – it’s not wasting your time, but it’s not wasting their time either. I –

Aleks: Was gonna say yeah, in a look. The couple of favour by –

Eddy: Just putting it all out.

Aleks: Shopping is what couples do, of course, and it’s painful for them as much as – as much as I think –

Eddy: You go, you’re going to six or seven different suppliers for each, you know, DJ, photographer, whatever it is, and waiting on quotes. And it’s just a lot of them get confused, like, “I’m just gonna put it on pause,” and there’s so much information.

Aleks: For that, don’t you? And they come back and they’re like, “Are you still free? It’s the March, no?”

Archie: Aleks and my fiancée and I are in the process of planning our own wedding, so we’re currently on the other side of that process as – as –

Eddy: Seeing this.

Archie: As clients, which is interesting. So yeah, we’re everyone, everyone runs their business slightly differently, right down to the way they communicate and the – the kind of platforms that they use and they want to organise meetings and things like that. So yeah.

Eddy: This is interesting. So what have you found or what have you found surprising about being on the other side? Was there anything you – oh, OK, I’ve learnt something here. Or –

Archie: I’ve been surprised by the – how do I say this? We’re –

Aleks: Not gonna – we don’t need to name and shake.

Archie: No, no, I’m not gonna name any – not gonna name any businesses, but I’ve been surprised by how, I guess, outrageous some of the prices are out there for certain services. But at the same time, that then I circle back going that’s obviously in line with where they’re at and with their business and their supply and demand and what people are willing to pay. So I’ve just gone –

Aleks: How quickly you slipped into the couple’s mindset.

Archie: Interesting. Interesting, because there have just been one or two. I’ve just been like –

Eddy: Just been so far a –

Archie: Bit ridiculous, taking the piss, so like –

Eddy: Maybe they only want to do 10 a year.

Archie: It’s sometimes as well you might find this that where it’s like it may not be the most convenient for that vendor to come and do our wedding, so they give us the fuck off quote.

Aleks: Which is –

Archie: Go – go elsewhere.

Eddy: Every now and then they’ll win that too, you know?

Archie: Yeah, exactly. And then they’ll go, “Fuck, now we have to do it,” just fine. We’ve done before, right? You get that one inquiry where you’re like, “I can technically make this work, and it’s a bit out of the way, and I’ve been waiting for this date to get filled.” Use a fuck off quote, it –

Aleks: Really works out.

Eddy: Really works out, I think, and you got to protect and look after yourself. So if we try to limit our gigs to two a week just in, particularly if they’re triple threats, like, it’s insane. Yeah, yeah, I’ve seen Aleks on the other side of a triple threat, a jewel triple threat recently. Jeez, tongue twister. And she’s just cooked as, no, for one day doing well, sorry, I’m doing my best. No, but if you’re getting that third day, you’re like, “Well, I’m gonna, I’m gonna be delirious, but I’m still gonna put –”

Aleks: In the third day’s the best, the 3rd wedding in a row.

Archie: So you’re unused –

Eddy: Your price accordingly, yeah, it’s.

Aleks: The best second one, you’re fucked, right? First one you’re like hopeful and naive, second one, you’re so tired.

Eddy: Third one you’ve got 2 –

Aleks: More of these, yeah. Third one, you’re like, “La la la, roses and daisies.”

Eddy: It’s probably where you’re at your best.

Archie: It takes your third wedding to get your second win.

Aleks: Yeah, and then you’re like, “I’m gonna keep going forever and ever.” Yeah, not weed at all, but yeah, anyway.

Eddy: There are suppliers in the market that do six or seven in a week, and I’m like –

Archie: Power to them, but no.

Aleks: No, they burn out very –

Eddy: They burn out very, very quickly. Yeah. What are we talking about?

Aleks: I don’t know, but we – I feel like we need to go back to some of those kind of couples will actually be interested. No, but I am. No, just I need to know like what have you booked in for your wedding?

Eddy: No. Do you have to name names? But what are the –

Aleks: No, venue wouldn’t –

Eddy: You show oh the venue.

Archie: Venue, we’re out of Barunah Plains, late February next year. Got a heap of great industry mates who are – who are jumping on board. Yeah, really excited. We, we’ve been really looked after by a lot of our industry mates, and I like to joke that I actually started in the wedding industry about 7 years ago just so I could get the discounts for our vendors for our eventual wedding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it’s – it’s worked. But no, it’s, you know, they’re, they’re big complicated beasts to organise and rally, and it’s been a beautiful process. It’s, we’ve still got a long way to go. We’ve got the major sort of stuff booked in – celebrant, photography, videography, DJ-muso, venue – just booked in catering, just booked in drinks. Now we’re sort of getting into the nitty-gritty with things like styling. I’m – I’m talking to my guys at YSG just up the road here about my suit.

Aleks: Shout out YSG.

Archie: Shout out to my boy Travis at YSG. Yeah. So it’s – it’s been really fun with all of that. It’s – it’s Alex. Alex, my fiancée, is – is a beautiful French Venezuelan woman, so she’s got a lot of international people that we’re – we’re going to have to bring over as – not have to, we’re delighted to invite them. Of course. It’s – it’s going to be beautiful. And I’m so excited. I’m so excited. Yeah. Just kind of wrangling the logistics with all that and getting all the information across with just things like, “What’s the visa requirements?” Big time. Everyone has all that sort of stuff sorted as well. It’s just been just an extra element to consider and weigh up.

Eddy: Yeah, all very worth it when it comes to the day.

Archie: Exactly. You do the hard yards now. So yeah, do it once, do it right.

Aleks: Yep, so hot tip out there for couples.

Archie: Yes, all right. Yes, it is fun. I’m enjoying. I’m actually, yeah, just learning a lot about how I can perhaps improve on my own practices as a bit more from being on the other side of it.

Aleks: Yeah, kind of makes us reflect.

Crafting Ceremonies: Structure, Scripts, and The Grandma Test

Aleks: Let’s talk about the celebrant side of things. We’ve talked a little bit about sax, and I’m sure we’ll get back – back to that topic, but let’s talk about your ceremonies. What do they typically look like? Is there a structure that you normally recommend for couples? We definitely have a structure that we pretty much like, “This is what we recommend.” And I don’t know about you, but most of our couples are like, “We’ve been to some weddings, but no idea what. We just know what we don’t like, and we’ve – if the celebrant’s been good, that’s all we’ve noticed. If it’s been drinks, yeah, that’s…”

Archie: That’s a good question. I tend to – similar with you guys. I don’t want to use the word template, but it’s – it’s a structure that you know that works well because it’s tried and true, and you guys find that it flows well based on –

Aleks: Experience, so important, isn’t it?

Archie: So yeah, I guess I can’t off the top of my head, obviously like your housekeeping stuff, intro, acknowledge the important people, those who can’t be with us. Then I’ll go into the – the love story component, and then I go – I get the – the legal jargon out of the way. Yep, yeah, the – the definition. Yep. Then I go the “I do’s”, then – oh, you’ve got an idea. I – I go, yeah. So a lot of people like the “I do’s” still. Yeah, yeah. Our clients –

Aleks: Are probably disappointed they don’t get to do the “I do”. We do the – we do the “I do” if they don’t have personal vows. So we do like legal vows with the ring exchange.

Archie: Yep, I do legal vows with the ring exchange.

Eddy: Yeah, it’s a great way to discuss.

Archie: My eye without anything there, isn’t it, right? It’s a good shout. Yeah. The “I do’s” into the legal vows with the ring exchange. And then after ring exchange, kiss, woo. Everyone goes woo. And then depending on whether they want the signing during the ceremony or not, sign there after a kiss, sign, quick photo, back to that central position, down the aisle you go, Mr and Mrs.

Eddy: Kiss. Very similar to what we do. Yeah, very similar.

Archie: Flows pretty well. Yeah, obviously. Yeah. Couples – couples don’t generally want to too much with the structure in terms of the way it flows, but obviously they want to customise and make sure that it properly reflects who they are in terms of what kind of content and actual stuff gets in the body of what – what you’re saying.

Aleks: Do you share your script with –

Archie: Couples? I do, I go – full disclosure, I go. I go full collaborative, I go. I just want my couples to fit. There’s a couple of reasons I do it. I want my couples to feel like they have ownership over the process, as well as full trust in like – I – I, I, I do a bunch of work on it first and get it to a point where it’s ready to be presented. Yep. And then I go, “Hey, jump in, sink your teeth in, fine-tooth comb it.” If anything’s wrong, great. My ego is only bruised for 30 seconds, but then I’ll – then I’ll fix it. And then I find that, yes, with that, I just want to make sure that the – the specific finite details are 100% correct because that’s what matters. Like, the – the names of certain people and places where they met or who they were involved with in the unfolding of their story particularly. So I find that, yeah, that – that allows them to feel like they have a great sense of ownership and therefore kind of presence during the ceremony as well. I like that they can therefore go into the ceremony knowing that everything that I say is 100% vetted and agreed upon with what they’re – what they have sort of given a final tick of approval. It allows them to therefore, yeah, be a – a bit more present knowing that, yeah, I just got this. And they can kind of chill now from what I’m saying and cast their eyes out over the people and take in the sights, sounds and feels a bit more and just kind of absorb those things as opposed to like, “Let the crowd listen to me.” I want the couple to kind of just, you know, hold hands, look at each other and – and look it out of the crowd as opposed to sort of listening to me as much because yeah, it’s a nice surprise if – if you don’t share your scripts, like, no judgement. Great. Everyone does it slightly differently, but I want them to feel present and taking in all of the other stuff as well.

Eddy: I mean, that’s a great answer, yeah.

Aleks: Yeah, we don’t share ours, but I know people see it firmly in either camp, but there’s –

Eddy: No, we have full disclosure early on that we don’t do it. And if they’re not comfortable with that, then maybe we don’t write celebrants for them, which is totally fine. All good. Yeah. That we – we come in what you always –

Archie: Kind of – is it because you find it’s too much back and forth with the editing and development or?

Eddy: You just – I’ve never shared it. So did you share? ‘Cause Aleks has been a celebrant –

Aleks: No, I’ve only shared one script, and that was because a bride, a friend – it was a friend, and it was a bride and groom, and the groom – I wanted to check, but normally I wouldn’t share it. OK, but I don’t, yeah, I don’t have nothing against people sharing it just for me. I always say to couples, “You get the genuine surprise on the day,” and they like that.

Eddy: Yeah. And obviously we can check with them if there are things in there that don’t like kind –

Aleks: Of confusing something, yeah. Or like –

Eddy: Or someone said something like, “Oh, are you OK for me to say this?” Or like yeah, can.

Archie: You check those things and like conflicting details or, yeah, things that don’t pass what I call the grandma test. Yeah.

Eddy: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that’s the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Aleks: And obviously, as you do, we get to know our couples so we know where the line is. But sometimes they’ll be like, I don’t know, like say it’s a bride and groom – or let’s say it’s a bride and bride, and the bride proposed to one of the brides, the other bride, and you know, and the response was, “Fuck, are you serious?” I’m like, “Can I actually swear?” Like, yeah. He’s like – I’m like, “Yeah, of course you can fucking swear.” But sometimes it’s like –

Archie: You’re not sure? You’re not –

Aleks: Sure. Not sure where the line is. Yeah. So stuff like that, I’ll check and then I’ll like text them and be like, “Who’s this person that you’ve referenced?” Because it’s like an important part. Yeah, they had the ring and they lost the ring. It’s like, “Who is this?”

Eddy: Yeah, give me the beginning of context and –

Aleks: It’s like, “Oh no, that’s my best man.” I’m like, “Oh, that name’s different to the name that I was given, right? There’s a nickname.”

Eddy: So, yeah, a lot of things like that. But we also – also say, like in very early on, everything you write in your – because we call them secret couple questionnaires, and they go out individually. Yep, they come out. Archie doesn’t say, yeah, yeah. And everything in there that’s written there is fair game if you don’t want anything. That’s right. Yeah. If you don’t want me to say, just don’t put it –

Aleks: In there, I learned that the hard way early on.

Archie: Policy. I’m similar in that I say you get out what you put in if you don’t want certain things, yeah. And if there are some things that are off, off-kilter and maybe you don’t want that sort of dirty laundry aired, you fucking write it in, yeah.

Aleks: Exactly, what would you tell, you know? Well, I have had people write it in and include it in the ceremony, and they’re like –

Eddy: It’s interesting.

Aleks: You said that there’s something today and I’m like –

Archie: And they don’t consider the grandma test, right? Yeah.

Eddy: I love the grandma – yeah, explain the, I suppose.

Archie: I’ve mentioned it twice. Explain –

Eddy: Explain the grandma test to our listeners.

Archie: The grandma test is, I guess, basically making sure that obviously grandma is going to be front row centre, right? You want to make sure that whatever you say passes, that she’s not going to be turning up her face going –

Aleks: Well, it depends on the grandma. Well, it’s –

Archie: Like regardless. Yeah, regardless.

Aleks: I don’t know.

Archie: Regardless, but I – I picture the conservative dotty old grandma who’s just like so excited to see her, the young one getting romantic.

Aleks: There’s that nasal. There’s that nasal. Yeah, yeah.

Eddy: It’s the same grandma, there’s no – that lives together for –

Archie: That’s what you’re supposed to living in too. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah. So the grandma test is making sure that everything’s kind of above board. It’s – it’s everything said and delivered in a way where no one’s going to be offended at the end of the day. Yeah, there’s – if there’s something funny that happens, like mid-ceremony, that kind of interrupts the flow, you gotta call it out. You gotta, you gotta be like, you gotta – that’s the skill of a celebrant. You gotta, you gotta play it off like it’s no big deal. You make a joke out of it and then you switch, you bring it back on board and yeah, yeah.

Eddy: Love those.

Archie: That’s fine. Maybe that’s an opportunity for you to chuck in a swear word and crying baby, stealing the show over it, whatever it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Make a joke out of it, but then kind of bring it back on board and in a way that grandma would be proud of. Yeah. Because grandmas are the ones who talk the most, right? They’re the ones who are going to go, “Oh, I just went to the door to this wedding and you know it’s got this celebrant and he also played the saxophone,” and then they tell their other Nans, “Who was that one who played with your daughter’s wedding? He was a saxophone.” “Yeah, that’s Lindsay’s boy.” “Yeah, get him on.” So I’m –

Eddy: Actually really enjoying this character, I know, see more of –

Aleks: For you that we’ll get on to your wedding banter, but maybe you could dress up as a grandma.

Archie: I’ve – I’ve –

Aleks: Got Mrs Doubtfire kind of vibe.

Archie: I used to – I used to do those kind of silly videos on my Instagram way back when, but I haven’t done one in about 18 months. Maybe I’ll bring them back.

Eddy: It’s time to, yeah.

Aleks: I think I told you about these. Yeah, those videos. I loved those videos. You like those? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You like playing with that and you’ve got the gramme. No, I like that about in the –

Archie: OK. OK, maybe I’ll bring them back. Maybe I’ll –

Aleks: Bring them back, or send it that she will go nuts on TikTok.

Archie: TikTok, their characters.

Eddy: So viral.

Aleks: So viral, which –

Eddy: Will solve all your problems.

Archie: Yeah, exactly right.

Mastering the MC Role: Coordination and Crowd Control

Archie: What are we talking about, Grandma Test?

Eddy: Grandma Test? No, I think that’s a – yeah, it’s awesome.

Aleks: No, what was I going to say about grandma? No, you were mentioning about, you know, kind of like the off-the-cuff stuff that happened. And I think that is something that’s really important for the celebrant that you book is like, shit does go wrong. Or yeah, where the ring – who’s got the rings? Like, I think I’ve got a piece –

Eddy: Of that PA where I’m like, shit itself or –

Aleks: Whatever reason, check who has the rings, and like, it’s yeah. But like, you know, you, you know the limit for your couples. That’s right. And what they’re willing to tolerate and – but sometimes you actually don’t know until the day. So like, you look at the crowd and you’re like, “The couple’s cool and chill –”

Eddy: And relaxed.

Aleks: Whatever, and then – and you look in there, some stiff-looking people in the crowd, you’re like, “I’m not going to get away with much. I’m going to keep it pretty safe.” You –

Archie: Gauge that right very quickly, early –

Aleks: On, right in the crowd when –

Archie: You’re doing the housekeeping stuff.

Eddy: Oh, absolutely. Yeah. And that’s where drinks before the ceremony really come into –

Archie: Play.

Eddy: Just kind of ’cause –

Aleks: Loosen them up free.

Archie: Pro drinks pre-ceremony.

Eddy: Yeah, I think so. It’s nice to loose everything off, and the couple is – might not be the most nervous people at the the wedding. They might be put them into a wedding before, “How do I act? What I do?” There’s something, I’m saying, in their hand. Yeah, they’re – they’re kind of like social –

Archie: Lubricant, yeah.

Aleks: Yeah, are you? Are you? Are you not?

Archie: No, I, I, I’m no, no stance on it. I, I like both pros and cons. Like, whatever you do in a wedding ceremony or a wedding in general, you’re gonna have pros and cons. I think the only time I’ve been against it is when I’ve done like the wedding on the family farm back home in Deniliquin up in the country where it’s – I was just like running a ceremony, 200 people, 40-degree day, like, black tie event under a marquee. And it was just like, “Do you take to be a lawfully wedding?”

Aleks: No, I mean, I mean, we, we, we stay away from private property weddings as it is. So yeah.

Eddy: No, I mean, yeah, I didn’t want to –

Aleks: Raise the drinking – the drinking at those, that’s –

Eddy: What you worry about, that is – that’s what you worry about.

Aleks: When it comes to by the time you get to dance floor –

Archie: Like, “Yes boy, he used to go saxophone. I used to play at high school.” Like, fuck off. Yeah, yeah, trying to touch –

Aleks: The sax, yeah, all the decks. So you go to the –

Eddy: Bathroom. Yeah, someone’s hot.

Aleks: The like handful of times I’ve had a private property wedding, I’ve run to the bathroom and I’ve come back and some dickhead’s on –

Archie: On the desk.

Aleks: Yeah, without that or smashed into the booth. Yeah. Or what has been got in the MacBook. Yeah, every single time. Yeah. I’ve never gotten away unscathed. No, you had your private property wedding recently that you were triple threat for. That was actually you actually.

Eddy: I thought I rolled into it because in all the – the groomsmen’s been there and yeah. And I was like, oh, they’ve been going for a while now. Fuck, I mean –

Aleks: If they were going for a while, there’s like 3 hours of –

Eddy: But the saving grace was the – it was the groom’s, I don’t know if boss is the right term, but someone that groomed you, the family to work for as a – a carpenter. It had this beautiful property out Warrandyte way. And I think they – they had to kind of keep a lid on it. So I think I got saved by the fact that it – it wasn’t just a rental, or it was someone that he knew and respected owned the property. Ownership was there.

Archie: Ownership suddenly changes everything, doesn’t it?

Aleks: So I was – I was –

Archie: Don’t trash the homestead.

Eddy: Yeah, exactly. But they – they were very well behaved and I was like, oh, this is fantastic.

Aleks: Yeah, if they’re all like that, it’d be fine. Yeah. The drinking is very, very loose. I look, I think it’s – we always say it’s pretty so many drinks, like it’s pretty rare that people are going to get fucked up. If you’re getting fucked up, they can do it before the wedding, before they even get there, right? So they’re going to be that irresponsible. But yeah, normally it just loosens people up a bit. But look, it depends on the crowd. We’ve also, you’ll have a great wedding when there’s no drinks beforehand. But if I’m so engaged and yeah, you can’t put a foot of –

Eddy: Rock. That’s a million bucks.

Archie: I do, yeah.

Aleks: And when it’s not like that?

Eddy: You’ll get no laughs.

Aleks: 20 minutes, yeah, no.

Eddy: One’s laughing at my jokes, yeah, but.

Archie: Nothing beats the high when you’ve nailed us out. Yeah, I find that the intrinsic feeling of reward that I get from nailing a ceremony is greater than when I’m nailing it on the sax. Partially, probably because of that alcohol element where I’m like, I could play a fucking bum note and everyone will think this is awesome. Whereas with the ceremony you’ve, you’ve put in the effort to make sure you’ve nailed the delivery and all that good stuff.

Aleks: People are focused.

Archie: Yeah, and that’s a good point. Like, you also got to remember as well that the crowd’s nervous as well. The crowd doesn’t really know what’s going to unfold. They haven’t had a drink yet. They’re – they want to see you do well as well. They’re not out there to say, “Let’s fucking give this bloke a shit time.” And – but as well as the fact that there’s always one or two people in the crowd who are also just going, “We’re doing some window shopping of our own.” There’s also that couple in the crowd going, “Interesting. Might get them on for ours.” So when you feel like you’ve nailed that ceremony, there’s fucking – I, I, I’m always just like, “We’re on here.” It makes my job easier for when I’m doing maybe those other two roles as well.

Eddy: Of course, have you ever had any hecklers?

Archie: During a ceremony? Trying to think.

Aleks: And those are.

Archie: Yes.

Aleks: Is it with? Where are you from? Deniliquin. Deniliquin.

Archie: It’s north of Echuca by –

Aleks: Yeah, I yeah, I – I know where it is. I have heard of her. I just can’t say the word a –

Archie: Lot of people say delinquent, yes.

Aleks: Well, no.

Archie: I’m a Deni delinquent. No, I – yeah, actually, I have, but not from the crowd that were in attendance. It was a heckler because we’re in a public space. It was a heckler from out here and what I, yeah, it was, it was annoying as fuck because he wouldn’t shut up, but he, he wasn’t close enough where it was like we could hear clearly what he was saying. He was just far enough that he was annoying, and he was kind of just intruding on, on the noise aspect. And so I, I just, I got about halfway through my sentence and a lot of people kind of looking over my shoulder and what’s going on here and making funny faces and – and then I’ve just kind of turned around and gone, “Is he part of the wedding?” and all the crowd’s gone, “Nah.” And I’m gone, “Let’s all give him a wave. Hey, mate, go away.” Yeah. And then he pushed on and like, he seems to be drunk himself or, or, you know, struggling for a home or whatever. But it – it it’s –

Aleks: Yeah, he’s got to deal with.

Archie: It – your ability to kind of roll with those punches and make it seem like it’s not a big deal, I think kind of makes it, yeah.

Eddy: Makes it, breaks, and it sort of brings us back to what we were talking about before, the off-the-cuff stuff that’s, you know, I don’t know about you, you guys, but they’re some of my most fun moments. Yeah, for doing that, you know.

Aleks: Well, look, it makes people relax. And when people see, obviously, when you’re doing like the housekeeping or like welcoming people, you know, like, “Take a seat.”

Eddy: Yeah, yeah.

Aleks: “Come on, guys.” Yeah, yeah. “You’re making us look bad.” And the couple’s like just having a bit of a joke. And then you like relax. And then people trust you. They’re like, “Oh, this is not going to be one of those reading out of a textbook type,” you know? A big –

Eddy: Cut, deviate from the script, and of course we have a script. I think one group said to me once, he’s like, “Do you memorise the script?” I’m like, “No, I wrote it yesterday.”

Eddy: I mean, are there any celebrants that – that do that?

Aleks: I have seen, yeah, there is one. There is one. What’s his name? Josh. Not Josh. Josh.

Archie: Berry completely? No, he’s –

Aleks: A – he’s a guitarist, isn’t he? I think. I think it’s Josh. I don’t –

Eddy: Know, did I? Josh the celebrant? Josh Rees, Josh the celebrant.

Aleks: Is it Josh? No, I –

Eddy: Don’t think so.

Aleks: Jay, I’ve seen him, but it’s – it’s like, it’s like –

Eddy: That’s next level. Wow.

Aleks: That’s – I’m going that way. Look, I don’t – it’s not my personal style anyway. Yeah, like –

Eddy: It’s nice to have something in hand, too.

Archie: You may just like – I agree, and I just, you think, I think there’s a difference between kind of memorising going dot points versus word-for-word as well. Like, you can go – I, I, I’m not, I’m not averse to just going dot points as long as you have some of the specific detail in those dot points. So then you can kind of circle back and talk in, I guess, a natural-feeling way.

Eddy: Yep.

Archie: As opposed to sometimes when you’re going with it, I personally read word-for-word just ’cause I like to know where I’m –

Eddy: At, of course, but so yeah, sometimes if a celebrant who maybe doesn’t have that level of experience, maybe they’re just starting out, they’re – they’re kind of like fully just like word-to-word head down the whole time.

Eddy: There’s that. That was probably me in my first one, to be completely –

Aleks: Honest, I look, I think it’s like, you know, when you’re doing like debating or public speaking at school and you, you’re told that you have to look up once in a while. I’m, I’m, I’m conscious of doing that, but of course I’ve read, but then I’ll make a joke at, at what I’ve written. I’m like, “Oh, that’s a bit like –” I’m like, or I’ll make fun, I’ll watch the game or whatever it’s –

Eddy: Like being meta in your own –

Archie: Yeah, it’s like sometimes you go, “Fucking don’t even know what I’ve written here,” yeah.

Aleks: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re like, I think it was. Oh, no, what? Shout out John, because he – he had a real one and he’s like, “I shouldn’t have written that drunk last night” or something like – well, the words were jumbled up, and it’s just like his personality. And it’s like, yeah.

Archie: Yeah, that’s part of his brand, right?

Aleks: Yeah, that’s good. Yeah, I think it’s –

Eddy: And that’s what you’re getting hired for at the end of the day. Are you getting hired for your personality?

Aleks: If for sure couples like what – some people want to really –

Archie: Polish. Yep.

Aleks: Perfect-looking, and that’s what they want. And that’s the, you know, if they’ve got a particularly like aesthetic –

Archie: Aesthetics-minded, right? Yep.

Aleks: Vogue. Yep. Hype wedding. Vogue Bride.

Archie: Definitely. They’re definitely pitching for the Vogue mag or the Hello!

Eddy: Magazine, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Aleks: Yeah, yeah. Whereas ours is like, I mean, we get a very wide variety of clients, but they want, they want something that’s relaxed and authentic and that’s, you know, I’m sure that’s what your couples are after as well. We’ve talked a lot about celebrating. I think we haven’t really touched on the MC side of things. I mean, it’s pretty, I guess it’s pretty self-experience. How much do you prepare for the MC side of things? Like do you have a bit of a script? Is it more the dot point approach like?

Archie: A definitely more dot point approach with the MC. I definitely like to lean on, I guess, natural confidence and charm and public speaking ability when it comes to the MC side of things –

Aleks: Which you can do, right?

Archie: Which you can do.

Aleks: Less –

Archie: Formal part? Yeah, exactly. Less kind of pressure as well with the, with the, by comparison to the ceremony. Whereas, yeah, like so long as you know the tricks and pitfalls around the MC because it is – it in itself is its own role and its own thing that you still need to be a little bit prepared for. So like, you’re still going to bring the energy for the bridal party entry. You’re still going to, yeah, know the movements, the ins and outs of the formalities. And therefore you got to coordinate with the venue people, the photography team, XYZ at the kitchen. Yeah, those sorts of things. Kitchens love to shit on you in your timeline.

Aleks: Don’t they? It’s all about the meals.

Archie: It’s all about that.

Eddy: Yeah, it’s the one thing you can’t really –

Aleks: Yeah, you can’t. In fact, we always say to couples, like when we talk about the run sheet, it’s based around start with the kitchen service timings and then we’ll work around that because you just can’t, yeah.

Eddy: Negotiate.

Aleks: No, there is no negotiation. Then we start negotiation –

Archie: With the people who –

Aleks: Want to get home, a bit different –

Eddy: For cocktail style, like, yeah, free flowing. But when it comes to sit down, yeah, they’re very it –

Aleks: Is because if you use pause food service at any time and it’s way more flexible. But having said that, as we’ve always said, a cocktail wedding is still – still needs –

Eddy: An –

Aleks: MC, still needs a property, in fact more so because it gets loose at a cocktail. Yeah, yeah, that too.

Archie: Crowds get looser, the – I think with the MC as well, the like – how do I explain this? I – I take the same sort of approach with how I present the ceremony into the MC. Still going for authenticity, still going for funny, charming and – and confident and bright and bubbly and loud and all that sort of good stuff. But less – still less, but less formal. The – the ceremony is way more formal. Therefore, I don’t have so much a script. I have some like, I guess, structural suggestions similar to a ceremony in that I think this will go well here, for example, like finishing your formalities with your first dance so that everyone can jump on, it’s lights fade, dance floor opens up. Like, that’s kind of a no-brainer at this point, I think. But yeah, I don’t have so much – like I always say to my couples that I’m not a comedian. I am funny, but I’m not a comedian. I don’t have a set sort of routine or script, but I, I, I’m better at calling things off the cuff rather than saying, you know, “Just before we start, is there anyone here named Michael now that we’ve got the mic check out of the way?” Like, yeah. Oh.

Aleks: Wow, it’s –

Archie: Bad. You know what I mean? So I, I don’t – you’re –

Aleks: Gonna see how you’re like – oh, I like that.

Archie: Much, I personally have done it once and it flopped. So, Ed, let me know how you –

Eddy: Go. Maybe – maybe I will. I’ll record it. Not –

Aleks: Be doing –

Eddy: That, no, I don’t think so.

Aleks: I thought, yeah, I mean, it’s interesting when we’re doing, I mean, you do the triple threat thing as well. Well, but like if I’ve got celebrant, DJ, and MC, I’m – I’m putting way more prep time into the celebrant and DJ side.

Archie: Agreed. Me too.

Aleks: Hours for each, and the MC side, it’s still – I still put a script together. But to be honest with you, I’m like, “Why am I putting a script?” Because I, I don’t go – I don’t follow the script like I do in the ceremony, but I like, I just have my – yeah. And we do a bit of a crowd one more, we like ask questions to the crowd and get them engaged and stuff. And then it’s just more like making sure we’ve got those 5-minute warnings before each because they’re empty drinks. Hello. And what about handing empty –

Archie: Drinks, go to the toilet. Yeah, yeah.

Aleks: And now, and let’s raise a glass. Empty glasses everywhere. It’s like, go get a bloody drink. But you’ve got to be careful with that too, because the venue doesn’t always want you – depending on whether it’s table service, I’ve noticed lately the venue doesn’t want a swarm of people.

Archie: Yeah. And that comes down to your little huddle that you have with the venue coordinator.

Aleks: Yeah, yeah. And you kind of suss it out? Yeah.

Archie: I always advertise the MC part as like, yeah, I’m not a comedian. I view my role more as the glue that binds the formalities together. And I find that the – if there’s continuity with me as a celebrant into the MC, that helps as well because then you become that immediate point of reference for either guests or the venue people or other vendors. So there’s continuity. And yeah, I know what you mean. Everyone has their tricks, right? But I, I like having – if I’m doing one of, you know, ceremony, celebrant and saxophone, it’s a lot of time between the ceremony and then the dance floor. So I like having the emceeing to keep me busy or the wedding banter side of things just to give me something to do between, whilst waiting for my turn to get back on the dance floor.

Aleks: Yeah. Plus, if you’re like delivering the ceremony and then you’re playing sax and then you’ve got like some like friend or family member who’s a crappy MC, you’re like, “You’ve done this for free. You need to make the night run really like –”

Archie: Yeah.

Aleks: And we all have that –

Archie: Moment, yeah, I know, generally they’re really good at like if they’re the funny friend like or the funny uncle, they’re really good with the whole crowd engagement storytelling element, even though it’s not necessarily their role, you know, they’re basically giving their own speech, but whatever, like they’re really good at that element and getting on the mic and – and wrangling the crowd. But the fucking timeline, just say, yeah.

Eddy: See – oh yeah.

Aleks: Flows right out and you end up coordinating anyway because you’re like, “Yeah, do you want to let people know, you know, or what’s happening?”

Archie: Yeah, exactly. So you might as well do it yourself. Yeah, yeah.

Eddy: Pretty much, I mean.

Aleks: Yeah, that’s true. Everything is the key takeaway.

Eddy: Well, the venue’s still sort of – you get our throat too as DJs, even though –

Aleks: Always, because –

Eddy: Like, no, I’m not. Yeah, well, the mic belongs to us, but if you –

Aleks: We always, I mean, inevitably, I –

Eddy: Mean, with a – with an MC that’s a friend, they’re –

Aleks: Always saying they’re –

Eddy: Lying. So what? We got to go to that person –

Aleks: No, but and also the M’s. I mean, you know, once – a lot of people, once the dance floor’s on, there’s generally not that many announcements, but sometimes there are. So we inevitably end up kind of seeing like –

Archie: Yeah, like the sparkler exit or whatever, whatever it is. Yeah, I’ve had one –

Eddy: Of those natures.

Aleks: Yeah, I’m not – you can’t normally play music for it.

Eddy: It’s normally outside.

Archie: It’s like it’s done. Yeah, they –

Eddy: Get –

Archie: All that stuff.

Eddy: So they don’t come back inside, yeah.

Aleks: And then people don’t like –

Archie: The things inside, so everyone –

Aleks: ‘S gonna go, yeah, everyone’s tired and like, “We get our bags, get out, not coming –”

Eddy: Back in, and this is –

Aleks: When the venues get on the mic, it’s like, “All right, everyone, we need to be out. The bus is come,” like, oh wow, what – like what a way?

Eddy: To all this work I’m done with all –

Aleks: This wipers that been gone, lights on, everyone’s drunk. What’s –

Archie: Happening George, venue coordinator, who’s stressed as –

Eddy: Just like we –

Aleks: Have to be out, sound restrictions, like, oh my God. All right, yeah, no worries. It’s high, like under the underneath the DJ booth –

Archie: I know what you mean too, though, as well, like the – the funny friend who you, you end up basically coaching them throughout the evening as well, right? You – you’re basically giving them your expertise that people pay a lot of money for, for free, yeah, for this, for this one person who’s – who’s filling in the role. But I mean, you’ve obviously had this discussion a lot of times as well with other – other guests. It’s: do you want that funny friend to have a job or do you want them to enjoy themselves? Yeah. Do you want them to feel like they’re fully on and have a responsibility and not being able to drink and socialise in the way that they probably could and want to for the night? Or do want them to just cut loose and be fancy-free for the sake of you saving 4 or 500 –

Aleks: Dollars. Yeah, yeah, true.

Eddy: What do they want?

Aleks: Yeah, I know, I know there’s a problem.

Archie: Yeah, there’s some people –

Aleks: Who love it and who like, maybe don’t drink much or it’s –

Archie: An on habit, sometimes they feel obliged to do it –

Eddy: Yeah.

Archie: Because they got asked to.

Eddy: I, I say – I always have a joke with like, particularly if they’ve only done one or two, it’s like, “Just make sure you do the most average job. Because if you do an average job, you get through it, and it’s all fun, and no one’s going to ask you again. But if you do a really good job, you’re going to be doing weddings –”

Aleks: Every – you are, you’re, you’re rich. You’re go-to. Yeah, you’re the absolute –

Archie: Go-to, it’s –

Aleks: A good find, it’s not too bad sometimes when it’s like a couple of them, but then you gotta wrangle 2 people if they’re not good. So let’s double the work for you as –

Archie: My biggest annoyance is when they are dual MCs, like 2 MCs, partner MCs, but there’s only one microphone between them. Oh yes, and then – and, and like they haven’t coordinated that with maybe you guys who’ve got the PA, and they need an extra mic, and that they didn’t really know that they would need an extra mic. It’s like, and we love the couple, don’t we, Jason? And yes, we do, Alex. OK. Logistical stuff that goes involved. Yeah. It’s far more than what people think sometimes.

Aleks: Oh yeah.

Why Saxophones Don’t Play During Wedding Ceremonies

Aleks: Oh, definitely. Going back to sax, and I had this question being down because I was very curious. Have you – so when you celebrant and you’re booked for sax as well, have you played the aisle song or any other key moments during the ceremony?

Archie: Nah, not the ceremony. I’ll keep the saxophone away for either cocktail canape hour onwards, yeah?

Aleks: You have to set up all your mic and –

Archie: Everything, it’s a logistical thing, as well as the fact that I – I think I said earlier, earlier, I just want to keep the ceremony to focus on the couple. I want to blow them away with my stuff a little bit later on. I live for that surprise looked on granddad’s face when he’s like, “Oh my God –”

Eddy: He can do the thing as well. What –

Archie: Can’t he do? Like, I love that. But yeah, I’m very cognizant of the – of people going, “Fuck, he made it a bit about himself, didn’t he, with the sax thing during the ceremony?” Yeah. Like, yeah, there’s a fine line between being the entertainer versus showboating. Yeah. So yeah, I keep it away during the ceremony. Yep.

Aleks: Yeah.

Archie: I have been asked, and I just say, look, it’s just kind of logistically tricky because by the time I’m saying the newlyweds, Mr and Mrs whatever, then I’ve got to go and get the sax. So I basically have to have it already strapped and on me, and – and then that kind of already blows the surprise.

Eddy: Right. Like, yeah, you just give me a second here. I’m gonna, yeah.

Aleks: Yeah. So how do you handle the music during the ceremony normally?

Archie: I know you guys, for example, you run it all yourselves, which is great because –

Aleks: You got that little –

Archie: Yeah, you got that little battery power setup. That’s awesome. I’m, I’m really impressed with you guys, the way you do that. I think that’s great. I – I wish I had the sort of wherewithal to be organised enough to – to –

Aleks: It’s a lot of extra stuff.

Archie: Yeah.

Eddy: It’s because we’re control freaks.

Archie: And, and that’s great, right? Well, your DJs and you’ve got that skill and make sure you – you ensure that it goes right and everything’s timed out perfect, especially if – if you’ve got a bride who’s like, “I want to enter at one minute 06 on this specific song,” right? Yeah.

Eddy: We honestly, we try and talk to them out of that honestly, but set expectations. We can set expectations, but what it does give us, if it affords us the opportunity to play certain parts of songs if they want to.

Archie: You can hot queue.

Eddy: Hot queue, all that kind of styles, you know, DJ and also –

Aleks: Move very swiftly from a playlist, like auto-mix playlist, into actually queuing up a key song and trading it in and playing it. So what do you normally do then for – for tunes?

Archie: I’ll go – I, I mean, I love it when there’s a live musician, so –

Eddy: Yeah, oh.

Aleks: Yeah, we do. He doesn’t. We do. Yeah. Yeah. All right, that’s one X. Let’s set up.

Archie: Shout out my boy Cal Young. He, he, he and I work really closely together, and he’s, he’s fantastic. Because a live musician means that you, you – if, if there’s for whatever reason, something happens or goes wrong or there’s a delay, it can just be and –

Aleks: There’s –

Archie: No – oh yeah, you’re not running out of song. Yeah, but I do say to the couples, if there’s someone that, you know, trust and love, extra points if they are a musician that we can rope in to be what I call the music guru. So yeah, usually I kind of frame it in a way with the couples where it’s like people love a job on your wedding day, especially during the ceremony, there might be someone in the – in the – in the crowd who maybe didn’t quite get the call-up to be in the bridal party. So you give them a role that’s not exactly bridal party related. So it might be the ring bearer or the, or doing an extra reading or being a witness or being the music guru. And so I – I say –

Aleks: That I love the way you frame it.

Archie: Right, you’ve got –

Aleks: This –

Archie: Pressure music –

Aleks: Guru, oh.

Archie: OK, special role, make it feel special, but a lot of the – yeah, and lucky, exactly right. They – they do feel the pressure of some of these people sometimes if they’re a musician, you can really tell that they’re like, “I got this. I wonder how Bluetooth works.”

Aleks: Also, you use Bluetooth on a phone.

Archie: I always go the device, make sure the playlist is downloaded, not relying on Spotify. So yeah, that’ll definitely cut out at the wrong time. Downloaded playlist on the device and Bluetooth it through my speaker just so that they don’t have to bring extra equipment or – or worry about hooking it up.

Aleks: And that’s who scares me.

Eddy: Are they, where are they in position? Yeah. Are they in sort –

Archie: Of I always make sure that they are at least second row so that I can get firstly direct eyes on them for the queuing, as well as yeah, just making sure that there’s presence and making sure that everyone knows what’s happening. Always make sure as well that like the – say, for example, the groom and the groomsmen are already there waiting pre-ceremony and the bride and her people haven’t arrived yet. But I’ll just say to the groom, “Hey, would you mind just introduce me to your music guru? I’ll talk through them, the queuing process and the songs and just making sure everything’s all hunky-dory, as well as who’s that rings person.” OK. And then you want to introduce yourself to them and make sure they’re so there’s – yeah, you – you kind of frame it as like, “Wow, what a great, what a great role that you get to fill. Thank you. What a great –”

Aleks: Response. I don’t want to –

Archie: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because – because –

Aleks: I don’t want to way over Reagan. I just big time way over Reagan. But I feel, yeah, more – and in fact, the only time I have allowed someone logistically, I was standing not near my decks just for the end of the ceremony, just the way the wedding party had kind of got, you know, you get stuck like if this is a very tight place. And I was like, I’m gonna – I’m like, what, can you just press –

Archie: Shat out quarter and get stuck and just kind of cramp in there. Oh yeah, I’ve got – I had eight bridesmaids and groomsmen at quarter one. That’s too much.

Eddy: They were standing up the whole time or the – yeah.

Aleks: Yeah, see, I when – when that happened, if I’m like way off, I’ll – I’ll just had a couple. “Do you mind if I stand next to you?” Actually, I – my wedding at quarter, the bride’s like I was like, OK, that’s a no, no worries. I’ll go to the end.

Eddy: Oh, really?

Aleks: But she was lovely, she was chill, but she just got –

Archie: Deer in the headlights.

Aleks: Yeah, she got caught off guard. And I was like – and I and I just quickly, I was like, OK, no worries, I’ll just park myself down the end.

Archie: She’s made so yeah, she’s like, “I don’t –”

Aleks: Want to and I’m like that’s you know what that –

Eddy: Decision fatigue. It’s a real thing.

Aleks: Yeah, I got stuck, and – and I was like, all right. And now like, let’s for the last time, if you’re able to please be outstanding and, you know, make some noise and – and then she hit play and I wasn’t – I was going to the cue was for Mr and Mrs and Mrs. But anyway, so, so she – so I was like, and when you do the play button, it goes into a vinyl break. I was like, “All right, that was a practice, fun, let’s do it again.” I was like, that’s why I don’t let anyone touch –

Eddy: Well, right. Yeah.

Aleks: Yeah, yeah, I did actually get the wrong song for the, you know. Oh wow.

Eddy: That’s another story once –

Aleks: Together. No, no. They had two songs like it was a bridesmaid with a bride, and it was instrumental, like piano versions of as two songs from the same soundtrack, similar titles. And I started playing the song and I looked at the groom and he looked –

Archie: At me, and I was –

Aleks: Like, all right, that was a practice. Fun everyone. Yeah. And it was fine, but I was like, that was so ironic that like I was – I’m like, “Hey, I’m a DJ, I look after everything’s gonna be so smooth with…” That’s why I don’t say that anymore. I’m like, “Here’s what it is, well.”

Eddy: It’s so funny.

Aleks: Couple were fine. I’ve reached a point where I just wanted to control all of that, like because the venues –

Aleks: The least at your –

Eddy: Every time I’m at a venue and they’re like, they do the sense, they’ll bugger something, they’ll fuck –

Aleks: Something up. Oh, is this too quiet? Or the queues? I’m like, “Oh, did you know what? No, like I’ll just do it.”

Aleks: And also spot, I just can’t. It’s fine. Like when you’re not doing it and you give it to someone else. But just like fading in a song on Spotify, yeah.

Eddy: And –

Aleks: I get the volume or doing the clicky, and I’m like, “Nah, yeah, it takes a long time to set it.” Like, it takes an – it’s an extra half an hour. A lot of lugging around and stuff, but I’m like at least –

Eddy: That’s look, everyone does –

Archie: Differently, how do you guys – I think that’s incredible. I just find that like I tell my couples like it’s probably not a good look if the celebrant’s got his phone out. I mean ceremony go and like, you know, totally play on Spotify. So oh yeah, yeah.

Aleks: I agree with that.

Eddy: Oh, I totally agree with that. We lean into this. What would you just got cool decks and –

Archie: Yeah, that’s great.

Aleks: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And distract people while they’re like, “Oh, please stop standing.”

Archie: Yeah, yeah. Head on over. Boom, press button. Yeah, laughing I –

Aleks: Hope it’s not too far away, ’cause I’m just like too weak like –

Eddy: I’m always like out to here with the mic and so I don’t get any feedback. Yeah.

Archie: Oh, true. Yeah, of course, I didn’t –

Aleks: Think of that. Yeah, yeah, I’m always testing it.

Archie: Out. Do you both read from a Kindle or iPad or?

Eddy: Yeah, we rock the iPad.

Archie: iPad. Yeah, I got paper. I had my Kindle shit itself with a ceremony at the worst, worst possible time. So I was like forever fuck – fuck technology. I’m going on paper forever now.

When a Tree Falls: The Vows-in-River Disaster

Archie: Until recently, which was real fun. I had – I was, I was, I was back home in delinquent – in Deniliquin, and I had a – a – a. It was a beautiful couple, and it was a beautiful, beautiful day. But we’re at this venue. But it was a shockingly windy day, and it was about 10 minutes before the ceremony. I’ve got a bit of a story for you, about 10 minutes before the ceremony starts and there’s absolutely blowing a gale and this beautiful, the ceremony space is right in this forest area on the river. It’s gorgeous, beautiful trees everywhere, but it’s blowing an absolute gale to the point where you’re like, “Don’t know about this then.” So 10 minutes before the ceremony starts, getting myself set up and I’m kind of stepped off to the side about 10 metres away and, and you know, you’re kind of giving your script a bit of a read-through making sure you’re all – all good. And people are starting to arrive at this point. And I’d – I’d sit down the vows booklets kind of near the, the florals so that, you know, people get access, like we’ll pull them out and yadda, yadda. About 10 minutes before the ceremony starts, I’m practising and then I hear this massive crack and down falls half a tree on top of like the arbour. Like, if it was 10 minutes later, it would have crushed us. It would have killed us. It was fucking terrifying. It was scary. So I was like, fuck. And then suddenly we had this half a tree just in the back of where these photos, like where the ceremony would be. Therefore like half a tree in the background of these photos. So I was like, let’s just wait.

Aleks: Ahead.

Archie: Well, so me and the live musician who was there, we had to like black-tie the whole thing. So I had to get my – in my suit, like pushing this half a tree down – down a river bank to get it out of the way of the background of these photos. As I’m doing that, gets worse. As I’m doing that, wind picks up again. My vows booklets – the vows – go for a swim. So I was like, fuck, can wait 10 minutes and the bride hasn’t even arrived yet and everyone’s – everyone’s starting to get settled in and they all see it and they’re all laughing and like yadda, yadda. So I that’s nice.

Aleks: And I –

Archie: Book it back inside – inside the – the venue, and I go, “Who’s got the Wi-Fi password? Who’s got a printer? Can – can I email you the vows? Yadda, yadda.” So they saved the day. Shout out to the venue. And so we came back and I’m running around like a mad chook, got the freshly printed vows and we get through the ceremony and in the housekeeping or, you know, had to – “Oh, you probably saw me running around like a mad chook. Full disclosure, the – the vows went for a bit of a swim. All good. I got spares. Anyway, if the wind does pick up, just be aware that I may need to pause during the ceremony because the wind’s going to interrupt us, and we’ll just give it its moment and then we’ll – on we go.” And so, yeah, I’m reading the ceremony and it gets to – it gets just before the vows moment for this couple. And the wind picks up and I hear the flapping of some papers. And then I hear – I see all my, my home friends just looking how much I are going. And I’ve just turned around and I’m, I’ve gone, “My vows booklets have just gone for another swim, haven’t they?” And everyone in the crowds is going, “Yeah, gone.” And I’ve gone, “All good. I’ve got spares. No worries.” And I said vows booklets to them, but in reality it was the actual marriage certificates. I just told them that it was the vows booklets because I didn’t want everyone to freak out, but I needed to acknowledge that something was happening. I didn’t want everyone to freak out. But like in my head I’m like fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Clenching my butt cheeks for as long as I can and I’m shitting myself. So then I was like, “Oh good, I got spares.” In my head I’m panicking. I give them their vows to actually re-pull out the spare ones, give them theirs to go. And then, you know when you give them their vows, you step out of the way so they can have that moment. So then I go for a little bit of a walk down the river bank to see if my marriage certificates had gone in the water. Thankfully, someone was looking out for me that day. They’d gotten caught in the reeds, not even gotten dirty. They were just kind of like held up against the reeds. So I just went down, picked them up, walked them back up, gave them to one of the guests. He’s like, “What do you want me to do with these?” “Just hold on to –”

Aleks: It. Yeah, I’ve had enough today. Just hold on to it.

Archie: Victor. And then we – we get this ceremony done and everyone, everyone because it was – it was back home. So like 80% of the people knew me and have known me since I fucking gave me. So it was – it was all very funny, but then you know you –

Eddy: Did pretty well there, Archie.

Archie: I was like, yeah, shit myself. And then 10 minutes later after the ceremony finished, look up – another part of that tree was just about to fall. And it did eventually fall. So that was some scary. But what – what we’ve all had, right? Yeah, we’ve, we’ve all had those.

Aleks: I’ve had, I’ve had, I think I told you because I reckon wind is –

Archie: Like, wind’s the worst because – wind’s the worst because at least with rain, you can just be like, “Fuck it, everyone inside.” Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Make a cool. You’re happy.

Aleks: Yeah, but I had, yeah, I was at Mount Macedon Winery and it was so windy, the whole ceremony, my hair was like this. And I, I just kept going. I was like, “I can’t do anything. You have to. You just can’t.” Like we had the wind sock on the mic. Don’t forget your wind sock anyway. And anyway, I went and like did the ceremony, whatever. I left the paperwork there. We did the signing during, I walked off to get my DJ stuff ready. And then one of the brides captured later, she’s like, “The paperwork all flew away.” And like luckily I was there and I picked it up, and I was like, “This is all signed paperwork.” It’s like, cool. So I learned, I learned that those things are like – the wind carries that. But yeah, we use an iPad. But the Kindle I would have loved to use, but I use it for my first ever ceremony. And I was so nervous, and I hadn’t practised enough. So I kept going back and forth in the script accidentally when I tapped it. So I’m like, nah, I need to – so I went to paper.

Archie: Yeah.

Aleks: And then I went to iPad because the scrolling is much –

Archie: Much easier because you can just do it with the thumb with the one hand. Whereas yeah, sometimes with the Kindle as well, if you’re not used to it, you might double click like a word and it’ll suddenly go, “Do you want a synonym for this word?” and you’re like, “Yeah, I do.”

Aleks: Do you want to highlight the – highlight this –

Archie: Word? Like zoom in? Yeah.

Aleks: It’s not ideal, is it? Yeah, I don’t know. I’m – I’m not even – I’m not even touching the killing wall. But we like we have on the phone, but I’m actually that wedding with the wind blowing rage. Remember what happened? The – I had left my iPad screen open. I had 10% left on the battery.

Eddy: Oh no, it was like –

Aleks: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You had to charge it. And I was like, I had 10 minutes before ceremony, I had 10% on my iPad. I was like –

Eddy: I had to really stress out. It’s like, “Give me this iPad, OK, I’ll go charge –”

Aleks: It, and there’s no – oh, and the worst?

Archie: You were together?

Aleks: Yeah, I –

Archie: Hope. Oh, you just let me set up well.

Eddy: Every now and then, if I’ve got a day off and I feel nice, I’ll help. I feel nice set up. I feel like it’s been nice.

Aleks: Like a nice –

Eddy: Man, I’ll go and help it, yeah.

Aleks: Yeah, that was pretty. And also like talking about Wi-Fi, I hadn’t like I’d been updating the script in Google Drive, but because there was no Wi-Fi, I hadn’t updated it. I didn’t have the most updated version. And that’s happened to me at that venue so many times where I’ve had an old version and there’s no Wi-Fi, and I’m trying to get Wi-Fi to get –

Capturing Guest Stories: The Art of Wedding Banter

Aleks: Technology is supposed to help –

Archie: Liberate us, right? Yeah.

Aleks: It does not. I’ve been, by the way, speaking of which, I’ve been staring at this thing going every single time we record this podcast, we’ve been doing it for what, seven years? I’m like, “Are we actually recording?” Can you imagine if we went –

Eddy: If the record is red, that’s why I always look.

Aleks: I know you’re looking. He’s not being rude. He’s actually just –

Archie: Yeah.

Eddy: My microphone’s on, that’s good.

Eddy: Should be good like. I mean, that’s just –

Aleks: Backup.

Eddy: I mean, that’s – that’s backup. OK, good, backup upon backup upon backup is what we want. Good chat. Let’s talk about wedding banter. I was saying to – to –

Eddy: Yes.

Aleks: Love this, love this. But the way you edit those, do you edit these videos yourself ’cause –

Archie: It’s no, not the last sort of half dozen or so. I got a bit too sort of busy and didn’t have capacity to give it the time, effort and quality that it deserved. So I did the first dozen or so myself, which is – shout out to videographers, that shit is hard, like, just to – but I’ve got the basics in terms of the editing with regards to like setting up jokes and you know, the gag moments and zooming in for emphasis and those lots of stuff, got those basics. But no, I’ve – I’ve kind of since outsourced that to my videographer and videographer friends Josh and Lily of Frazonte Films. Shout out to those legends. They’re also gonna be the videographers for our wedding.

Aleks: Oh nice, I think –

Archie: I’ve worked them –

Aleks: Once.

Archie: Yeah, they’re fantastic.

Aleks: Yeah, it’s so – it looks so good.

Archie: Yeah, they’re – they’re great. So –

Aleks: Sorry, tell us about wedding banter.

Archie: Wedding banter is – full disclosure, it’s a bit of a rip-off of the wedding chats thing from old mate. I think his name’s Alex as well. He’s –

Aleks: Done really well, hasn’t –

Archie: He he’s bold, he’s up in Newcastle, and he’s just made a full thing of it. So I was like, “That’s pretty cool. I’m gonna steal that idea.” And like, I initially hit him up and said, “Hey man, like, do you wanna bring this down to Melbourne? There’s gonna be such scope for it. Do you – what do you reckon?” Like, I and I was fully expecting him to be like, “Yes, wait, we’ll expand it. You can do it under my brand.” And I was like great, like we’ll, yeah, yeah, let’s go, yeah, yeah, yeah, and he was like, “No, we’re good. Go for it.” So I was like sweet, and then I just called it wedding banter, which I think’s a better known but – and so yeah, but he’s – he was lovely. Like, I had – I had a chat to him and he was like, “Nah, oh, good man, like, that’s – we’re – we’re just gonna stick with it up here for now and take it with what you want.” I do it slightly differently to him in terms of the kind of content that I include, whereas his is shorter clips – yep, more – is even more kind of unhinged than than mine. Again, I’m still going for grandma test stuff with a lot of mine. I can upload some very unhinged shit. But the couples get the full uncut version as – as yeah, for what they pay for. But then the – the highlighted version is about a minute, minute and a half, gets put on the internet for everyone to see forever.

Aleks: Yeah, so and yeah, just to explain the concept. So you go around and –

Archie: Interview guests during – the concept itself is, yeah, I’m – I’m interviewing guests with a microphone on a static tripod during the sort of last half an hour of cocktail hour.

Aleks: Because I’ve had a few drinks, yeah.

Eddy: You want that –

Archie: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want that two to three –

Aleks: Drinks sweet spot, right?

Eddy: That’s where the – that’s where the good, good stuff comes.

Aleks: Yeah.

Archie: Not to the point where it’s like, “Hey, hey, just tell us how much I love you.” It’s like, “Thanks.” But yeah. So it’s basically you, you just interview guests, you see what – what their goal is. If you ask them like, “OK, firstly, which side of the thing do you sit on anymore? This person’s friend or this person’s friend?” Gives a story. “How did you first meet him?” And then usually they just give you – sometimes you get one person who comes over and – and they’re like, “Oh yeah, get me on, get me on, get me on.” And then you get to them and you ask them a bunch of questions and then suddenly they’re like, “Yep, got nothing for –”

Aleks: You, what –

Archie: Did you? “Have you got nothing for you,” and you’re like, “You insisted that I introduce you and interview you, so what do you know?” But say yeah, that they’re –

Eddy: So – so what content then is making the cut to go on, to get out there, go on your gramme, all that kind of stuff? Is it just more interesting things, funny, heartfelt? What’s the –

Archie: Yeah, I go for – I go for a mix of like 60% funny to 40% sincere. I always say – and I’m, I’m very explicit. I even include it in some of my – some of my videos that I put on them. Like, if you can’t go funny, go heartfelt. Because yeah, yeah.

Aleks: Yeah, you gotta have one of the other. Yeah, you –

Eddy: Gotta have –

Aleks: One of the other.

Archie: Yeah. And like if you – if you’re bailing out of funny, just look, “I just want to just say that I just really love these guys, and I want to wish them the best,” and that’s completely great. Yeah. So, yeah, I, I – the kind of stuff that I’m aiming for is just like, yeah, if you, if you got some – if somebody’s got like a random story, you can usually tell. So if say, if I’m interviewing you as part of wedding banter right now, yeah, behind you is Ed. And I can see Ed just kind of like circling around as if he’s got a – he’s got a look on his face saying he’s, he’s got a story that he wants to share. So I’m interviewing you and I’m going, and then, and then we’ll finish that up. And thanks for coming and say – and say good day and –

Aleks: Then thanks, Aleks, you’re boring.

Archie: And then, yeah.

Aleks: You’re –

Archie: Distracted.

Eddy: You’re distracted. There’s no – yeah, I’ll feel it.

Aleks: Yeah, you know.

Archie: “Wish them all the best for their married life to go,” and then, and then, and then I’ll go, “Ed, come over here. I know you got something to say.” And then it’s – and then it’s on, so.

Aleks: Maybe I’ve got something to say, actually. Actually, you think you’re so young and fresh.

Eddy: You’ve said too much, actually, I know.

Archie: I know.

Aleks: You.

Archie: I know you.

Eddy: And are you just filming this on – on a phone or do you have?

Archie: Just on the – yes.

Archie: On the phone. And connect the – the –

Eddy: DJ microphone. Yeah, thing.

Archie: That just connects to a handheld and makes it look a little bit more something or other. But yeah, and then you sort of, yeah, like you guys with with this sort of stuff, right? You’re gonna sync up the audio with the things and – and edit it and –

Eddy: It’s funny you – you said hats off to videographers. They do incredible work. We all have to be amateur videographers nowadays –

Archie: Content creators that we are, yes.

Archie: It’s, yeah. And that’s been a great skill to kind of learn. I just think that videographers have this incredible skill of just streamlining that process.

Eddy: Storytelling.

Archie: It takes me a full day – a full day sitting in front of the computer to edit one of those wedding banter videos. Just with my little geek head on. What application are you –

Archie: Using? I’m doing Adobe Premiere Pro, which is probably the harder of the kind of more standard programmes ’cause there’s so much that you can do, which sometimes means you’re a bit paralysed by choice. So I could probably use a simpler programme, but I find that it’s not – it doesn’t do exactly what I need. Sometimes I want to inject, say for example, like a – a reaction sort of photo or GIF inside the video itself. When – when somebody said something funny or made a reference to a pop culture thing, you want to shut that quick photo or GIF clip in there. Some of those other programmes can’t quite do that as smoothly. So you – you just kind of got to deal with what you got.

Aleks: Yeah, that’s cool.

Eddy: We just use InShot.

Aleks: Oh, but I – I cut up the this video in iMovie because I find it a lot easier to cut it up.

Archie: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, and it works. InShot, yeah. The only problem is you’re on a phone like –

Archie: But –

Archie: InShot can be, yeah, exactly, fiddly with – like, when you’re trying to maybe cut and trim video and you’ve got to go all the way across.

Aleks: Yeah, yeah, you can.

Eddy: Expand. I didn’t even realise that the other day. “Oh, you can expand.”

Aleks: Well, I don’t – like, I don’t know. And get really granular, but there’s all this stuff like if you’re like, say you go to the landscape and you’re trying to like move the canvas. So you go into like portrait, which is like, you know, Instagram, TikTok thing. I’ve found that if you cut that – cut that way the audio clips.

Archie: Yes.

Aleks: And so there’s a workaround for it, but there’s – there goes my whole day, yes, for a – for a 17-second reel that you hope –

Eddy: Someone will scroll, right?

From Content Creation to Cringeworthy Wedding Speeches

Eddy: Yeah, scroll.

Aleks: Like the first 3 seconds of because God forbid you pay attention for 10 seconds.

Archie: But I actually just blindly like it on his doom scrolling, so I got you. Yeah, yeah.

Aleks: Good. Thank you. Do you record any of his ceremonies video, or you’re going to say, “It’s not about me”? No.

Archie: Not myself. I find that I actually just don’t have the kind of foresight to do the – the content for the ceremony specifically. I think I’ll always hit up a content capture if they have one and get it from them. Yeah, nice. I like the dynamic kind of panning and zooming and capturing of the moments that a content capture can get, as opposed to my like just tripod just standing there.

Aleks: I don’t think people get a sense of your vibe from the wedding banter stuff anyway.

Archie: I prefer that.

Eddy: It’s a fun way for myself.

Archie: I prefer that. And maybe I’ve just deluded myself into saying things like, “Is there nothing sacred anymore with the ceremony, and can’t we keep that private?” But again, people really do want to see how you go with the ceremony stuff. Even if you – if you’re posting some of the more unhinged or – or things that go wrong, people do want to see that, right?

Aleks: Of course, it’s a lot of.

Archie: Work. It’s just a lot of work, and I’m already getting enough content with regards to, yeah, the wedding banter, I find that’s pretty – In fact, I find that’s almost better representative of who I am and the way I run things than the actual ceremony.

Aleks: Well, especially if you want the couples to, you know, ideally book you for all three services. That’s what they’re getting for as the whole package as opposed to like I’m, well, it’s –

Eddy: Technically four, really. So you’re a part of the quad squad?

Archie: OK, OK. But yeah, with the wedding banter stuff, because like it’s more representative of one’s ability to be off the cuff. It’s unscripted. It’s completely unscripted. So any sort of back and forth banter that you get, it’s completely fresh. Whereas, as opposed to, yeah, how much is what this person’s reading off of scripts during the ceremony, how much is that genuine and authentic of who they are, what they do as a person as well?

Aleks: And I’ve shot myself in the foot ’cause I’m like to the couple, “Is it OK if I record your ceremony? I’ll only use short snippets,” and they’re like, “Yeah.” And then of course they want the full ceremony. So then I have to export this massive – yep, massive file, and then upload it, and they end up using –

Archie: You as their content capturer, and –

Eddy: Yeah, I know. That’s why I don’t say anything.

Aleks: And I’m like, “I should charge –”

Archie: For this, yeah, 100 percent, 100% you should, because that’s work.

Aleks: Like, you get the full ceremony and, you know, if they don’t have a content creator or a videographer filming the full ceremony for them. With audio, by the way, because I use the mic when I record it too, it’s a lot of extra work. Between that and the DJ setup for the ceremony. By the time I get to cocktail, I’m like, “Only another 7 hours left.”

Archie: Yeah. And I guess I find that I’m busy enough doing enough ceremonies where maybe one in four or five has a content capturer. Yeah, just hit them up. Yeah.

Eddy: Grab that. Yeah, exactly.

Aleks: That’s interesting to get like there’s always content creators, and I just I guess because I record it, yeah, I then don’t get the really, really good quality stuff, but you just ask to say, “Hey, can you – do you mind Co that being with me on that real off you go.” Oh yeah, I didn’t –

Archie: Think, for sure.

Eddy: I didn’t think about that. Yeah, yeah.

Aleks: All right. So you got to tell us obviously keep names out of it etcetera and locations, but what are some of the really unhinged things that you – you’ve heard on no?

Aleks: No grandma – no grandma test required for this party.

Eddy: Yeah, let’s put the grandma aside for now.

Archie: All right, all right. Well, I, I have this one story that I’ve told a lot of my friends about this one. It’s pretty, it’s pretty good that when I was – four or five years ago now – but I was a DJ, MC, and saxman also. I wasn’t a celebrant, but I was a DJ-MC saxman for this couple out in, out in the Goulburn Valley. And that was – it was the worst father of the bride’s speech I’ve ever heard in my life. The worst. And it sucked. So anyway, this terrible, terrible – I’ll use, I’ll use pseudonym names so that I don’t – yeah, anyway. And anyway, so the worst – so the dad’s, the dad gets up and he’s just like – he was the local cop in town. I think he was obviously like the captain of a footy team that won the premiership back in 1980, like, very big fish in a very small pond kind of guy, like, just a fucking wanker. Anyway, like, thought he was a fucking legend. He was a captain – as a captain of the local police force as well. Fucking –

Archie: Being – being –

Archie: Drawn Anyway, he gets up and his – his speech is only sort of six – five or six lines long. He gets up and he goes, “When I first met Jamie, he was a skinny kid with no skills. Now, 12 years later, he’s finally dropped the knee. He’s still a skinny kid with no skills. Welcome to the family.” And then he drops the microphone, and the microphone just literally drops. The microphone rings out. Feedback all throughout my system, fucks the – fucks the vibe. And then of I have to as MC, she’d visually go up and pick up the microphone off the ground and go, “Give it up for John.” And everyone was just like, “What the fuck was that?” So yeah, that sucked. Yeah. That’s one of the worst ones I’ve had, yeah.

Aleks: It’s hard as an MC, is it? You –

Eddy: You don’t need to pick up the mic, going to pick up the vibe as well.

Aleks: Yeah, where –

Eddy: He said the whole thing.

Aleks: I had a shocking one involving the father of the bride and putting her on a chair and getting a – a – a, what do you call it, a chastity belt? And anyway, the videographer of the time captured my face and I was like – and the parents of the bride and with a sign, “No Entry” or something like we’ve got the photographic evidence, won’t share it, but lovely couple. But the – to make matters worse, it followed the mother of the bride’s speech and the parents were divorced. Long, long divorced. And she was –

Archie: Can’t even be in the –

Aleks: Same room, and I was like, “I don’t blame you, love,” anyway, and I got a mic and I just said, “Wow, nobody was expecting that.” And I said – I left it at that. And I was like, that’s as bad as diplomatic as I can get, of course, because I felt for the bride as well. I was like, “This is fucked, how can you do this?” Luckily, she’d had a few drinks and had a sense of humour, but –

Archie: That’s weird too, because like, arguably, the chastity belt on the wedding night, it’s just misplaced.

Aleks: Because it’s come to –

Archie: One night where it’s kind of the chastity belt, it’s gonna come –

Aleks: Up. Yeah, yeah. Where’s the key?

Eddy: Didn’t understand the concept of a –

Aleks: Yeah, I don’t think he – I think he just wanted to – I think he’s gonna mic talk to –

Archie: Gag. Yeah. And it’s – it’s always a father of the bride. Yeah, I know.

Aleks: And where do they like to hold the mic?

Archie: Yeah, just want to – yeah. Just want to say, “Yeah, thanks for coming.”

Eddy: Everyone’s looking at you to turn it up, so I can’t.

Aleks: Oh, no, I just, I, I just go up. Yeah, yeah.

Eddy: Yeah, you have to. And then they don’t like that.

Aleks: Then, well, I warned them before, and I’m the – all right, father of the bride, you guys are notorious for doing this.

Eddy: String of fire, they –

Archie: Still don’t do it, though. No, they’re –

Eddy: They’re slowly dropping. Yeah, slowly dropping, a string of father brides saying, “No, no mic, don’t want the mic,” all right, and –

Archie: Then fuck the videography team then.

Eddy: Like, yeah, it’s a guy. “No, I don’t need a mic.”

Aleks: Don’t worry about the egg ground videos to capture your –

Eddy: Students, you need a mic. Everybody needs a mic.

Archie: That’s a tough one because like that’s – it comes down to your skills and MC too though, right? Like you – you get up and you – the best MCs are those who like pick up on something that gets said during a speech and kind of reference that, we’ll –

Eddy: Make a joke out, circles back around, circles –

Archie: Back around and then –

Aleks: What could you have referenced in your – yeah, what were –

Eddy: You circling back around –

Aleks: With, “He is skinny.” All right. Thanks, John.

Archie: I couldn’t.

Eddy: Couldn’t just leave it? Leave it.

Archie: Couldn’t save that. I didn’t want to because he was a fucking douch. Just leave –

Aleks: It, yeah, you’re last, I even giving you the satisfaction of that guy acknowledging your six-line speech. Yeah, fair –

Archie: Enough. No, yeah, it’s. But yeah, like you do that, you get the – get the microphone back. He’d go, “Hands up if you had no idea where he was going with that.”

Aleks: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I said that once, the terrible best man speech was all about him and his law degree. And I was like, “Oh, yeah. And he turned her around,” and I was like, “Didn’t know where he – where he’s going there, but he turned her around. So well done. Well done.” Like because he was like and the couple’s looking to you like –

Archie: Yeah, and what’s going on here?

Eddy: Excuse me, on the topic, you’ve had instances, I don’t think I’ve had too many, but like where it’s all doctors in the house, like you must introduce them as doctor this, I think.

Aleks: The rule is if there are doctors involved in the couple and the family, it has to be mentioned, doctors and lawyers.

Eddy: Doctors always mentioned.

Aleks: That they’re doctors and lawyers. Always. Always. Oh, the MC where I had to introduce the parents as doctors. Yeah, no.

Eddy: That’s what I was referring to. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Aleks: So you have to as a doctor. And I’m like, “Do I actually have to?” Yes, doctor whatever. And I was like, “You just said, doctor.” Yeah, my child died.

Eddy: A little bit that.

Serial Fainters, Heart Attacks, and Other Wedding Day Dramas

Eddy: Would be crazy. What’s up, doc?

Archie: I can understand their feeling of pride in how hard they’ve worked to achieve those status things, but that sounds like fucking ego. Yeah, yeah.

Eddy: Oh yeah, there’s no doubt about it.

Archie: Like if you’re going out to the MC and saying, “No, I insist it’s doctor.” What, doctor of philosophy? Like, fuck.

Aleks: Yeah, yeah.

Archie: OK, cool, man. It’s not about –

Aleks: You, it’s about the topic, if –

Eddy: Someone has a heart attack. Are we going to be OK, or you –

Aleks: Yeah.

Aleks: That’s the other story, anyway.

Eddy: We don’t – oh, yeah. I mean, I’ve had a heart attack on the dance floor. Yeah, really. Yeah. To Mr Brightside. Really? Yep. Sorry, took me a while to get back to playing that tune. Oh my gosh. Yeah, the –

Archie: The cardiac episode.

Eddy: Finished the wedding unfortunately, but yeah.

Archie: That – that kills the wedding. Yeah, it does. Was it a parent of the bride?

Eddy: Was it like – I think it was like a great-uncle or something like that? So I bet he, you know, find carted away in the ambulance, all good. But yeah, the night was, it was a good hour and –

Aleks: 1/2, how far off the end of the –

Eddy: Hour and a half, so it was.

Archie: I always say as well, they’re like the worst thing that happens at your wedding ends up being your best story. So then they can later on – they can later on say, you know, “Survive our wedding, almost killed John” or whatever.

Aleks: Well, I did have a death at a wedding. Oh, fuck. We – yeah, yeah. They’re just up one-up here. We’re just here, we’re just swimming –

Archie: Up, we’re next.

Aleks: We’re edit that out. No.

Aleks: No idea. I was the grandfather of the groom, and I was like at dinner, and he collapsed at the table, and it was like –

Eddy: That’s not even the weirdest part of the –

Aleks: Story. No, the weirdest part of the story, right? Because obviously sad, he died. We had to stop the wedding, it didn’t continue. There’s two weed parts the story. The first weed part is, well, I was playing Rapture, Blondie, which I love, right? Great song, the song –

Eddy: I –

Aleks: Was song, and I was like – and I was like how long because I couldn’t just cut the music right, that’d be too dramatic. It might be okay, yes, everyone’s enjoying their main. Nah, don’t find a break. So honestly, because – and I had the extended edit, it’s like 11 minutes, right, 14 minutes. And I faded it down so slowly, like, yeah, just no, no, just like, so no one. Because then the paramedics came and I was – and they started working on him. And I’m like, “All right, Blondie, we’re nearly there. Like, so close.”

Archie: Bring it out in the soul.

Aleks: Anyway, the venue owner comes up to me. He’s like, “Look, I think we need a bit of vibes.” And I was like, I’m like, “I don’t think so.”

Eddy: I –

Aleks: Disagree, I think we let the paramedics – they escorted every other room. But the venue was so weird because the only place it would go into was a room that had glass doors so we all had to watch the grandfather get worked, or he died, and they wrapped it up before the dance floor even started. But then the second weirdest thing was they contacted me like a few weeks later and they’re like, “We’re redoing the reception at the same venue.”

Archie: What? Bad juju, bad juju.

Aleks: Weird. I was like, what? I think I’m only getting a discount. I’m like, “Well, that’s really generous, but no, no, really, I wasn’t – I wasn’t available.” She’s lucky. You may – I actually wasn’t. I actually –

Eddy: We ended up, yeah, passing it on to a really good friend of ours, which it looked great, like it looked awesome, and she did a great job. But yeah.

Archie: Anyway, was it early in the evening?

Aleks: So it was like, it was, it was like, it was like, it was like entrees and main, was like dream mains.

Archie: Ohh shit, didn’t even get on the no. At least granddad got to see them married.

Aleks: Yeah, i know.

Eddy: That’s the thing. Yeah, exactly. But it happens. It happened. I mean, my – I’ve seen this too. Ceremonies, you know, older generations, it’s a big thing, big deal. Fainters. Yeah, fainters. And yeah, I’ve looked gorgeous for a year, and they might come, they might not, we don’t know. And it’s, yeah, it’s a big –

Archie: Ask pre-recording. I was telling you about a story that I had that indirectly involved Ed. Oh.

Aleks: Yeah.

Archie: Do you want that story? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I – I back home in – in Deniliquin. No, in delinquent. Another one, hot stinker of a day, hot oven type of day. And it was – it was a black tie out of the family farm wedding. Gorgeous couple. Everyone was really good spirits, but just ridiculous, ridiculously hot, 40 plus black tie. Yuck. And really windy as well. So I rock up and the arbour’s blown over, and I’m just having to like make sure that there’s pegs in the ground, make sure everything’s all hunky-dory. But then the – so the bridal party, bridal party sort of rolls in and we’re doing the ceremony. And it was one of those ones where I was kind of Co-doing it because the friends wanted to read the love story, that sort of thing. And that’s fine. So I step out of the way, and I’m on the opposite side with outside where the groomsmen were standing on – on the edge there. And I’m watching this couple read, sorry, these two people with the friends read the couple’s love story. And on the other side, the very last bridesmaid, out of one out of five, fell flat on her face, fainted, just the bridesmaid. And I’m like completely interrupts the whole – the whole thing, right? And you just go, “Oh, sorry, folks, we’re just going to need a moment here. We’ll just take a moment and, you know, get her a lemonade and this, that and the other,” and pull things laid out in the dirt. And it’s just, oh, it sucks, and it’s a hot stinker of a day. But yeah, it was the day that I had stupidly said yes to playing that Christmas party, that Christmas party with you, Ed, back in Melbourne, which is a four-hour drive’s difference from Deniliquin to Melbourne. And I said yes to that on the contingency that if that ceremony runs on time, I’ll make it back in time just and like, like dumb. I shouldn’t have said yes. But anyway, so I’m like, this poor, poor bridesmaid is laid out on the dirt and I’m going, “Can we get a ring, get this chicken lemonade and let’s go wrap it up.” So finally, yeah, we get her up and we finish the ceremony. And it was all fine. And poor thing, she’s embarrassed. And I’m like, of course you are. But like, the worst part about it was, it wasn’t not only her first time fainting, it wasn’t even her first time fainting as a bridesmaid. Oh wow.

Aleks: Oh wow. Jeez.

Archie: So if you know that you’re a fainter, first and foremost, yeah, you know what that feeling’s like? What’s worse? What’s worse, getting the sensation come along and then you go and just surreptitiously go and sit yourself down at the edge of the – edge of the seats. So good. Or upending an entire ceremony, landing flat on your back because – because you couldn’t just take it, take a moment to just get a lemonade and sit down mid-ceremony. Yeah, so I –

Eddy: Was like, yeah, but you made it to the gig.

Archie: Second gig, it was only –

Eddy: Absolutely ripped up late, so that was fine. That was so chill.

Archie: So it was good. I yeah. So I was like burning it back from like Deniliquin to Heathcote at 150, calling – calling you. But – but I couldn’t get a hold of you. So I had to text you. I think I – but you were in a gig so you didn’t reply. And then I had to call the venue. And then I – I called the venue to go and give them to give you the phone so I could talk to you to get me into contact with the client to make sure that they knew what was happening and I was still on my way. Yeah, yeah, it was a shocker. So.

Aleks: What a day. Fun times. I mean, you, you, you see it all, have stories. You –

Eddy: See it all, you do you.

Archie: Just got to roll with the punches. My favourite part about that day, though, was that I, I, I did a pretty good job in, in terms of my role – role. But regardless of how well I did, that’s not what it’s gonna get remembered. Yeah, it’s – it’s all about the chick fainting of that day. Unfortunately so.

Aleks: Yes, and it’ll be a story, an urban legend.

Archie: That’s – that’s the story of the day.

Mastering the Saxophone: Reading the Dance Floor Vibe

Archie: So I like –

Aleks: Whatever.

Archie: My God, power to him. You wanted to ask about sax?

Aleks: I wanted to ask about sax. I wanted to ask you, yeah. Because obviously there’s like the sax songs that everyone knows and wants, right? How much of that do you play? Like, how much do you play where there’s an obvious sax part or sax solo like the Dubel and Destination Unknown and all that sort of stuff versus the more like improv just playing over the top of like dinner tunes or whether it stands for like what’s the mix? Do a couples quite prescriptive in what they want or do you kind of steer people into one direction or another?

Archie: It’s good question, I if there are, if there are songs that are like have a very clear, firstly, if they have a very clear sax part, then I’ll just play that and follow that closely because –

Aleks: That’s what people want to –

Archie: Hear, you don’t want to be improving over the top of destination.

Aleks: I’m just going to make my own bit to this.

Archie: It’s already a lot of sax as it is, right? So just play that and people are just impressed that you can, oh my God, you can play the actual things like, yeah, usually pretty easy.

Aleks: That’s the easiest bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You try improvising. Yeah. And –

Eddy: People love that.

Archie: Yeah, yeah. I mean, I, I at this point I love all of the sax songs except Jabel. I hate Jabel like I – I – I love –

Aleks: You love the reaction it gets.

Archie: I love the reaction it gets. I just don’t think that Jabel’s a dance floor song, and I think it’s more of a cocktail kind of a song. And I think, I think that the Jabel it’s, it’s beautiful because it’s got that big sax laid up. And then the drop after, “What does it take me or save me” or whatever –

Aleks: It is, but nothing happens.

Archie: But exactly right. And then there’s this weird sort of minute and a half thing where it’s kind of dead, and then suddenly I’m standing around waiting on the dance floor waiting for my bit to come back in again. So, so if a DJ knows their shit like you guys do, do that build-up, do the drop, let it play out, people go crazy, then mix it out, dips it out from there.

Aleks: Don’t be – I’ve been guilty of playing the whole thing.

Archie: Don’t play it out the whole way.

Eddy: That’s that massive –

Aleks: Job, I know, but sometimes the crowd like the anticipation.

Eddy: And –

Aleks: It depends on the crowd, because I was going to ask you, do you have a book? Because I think, yeah, it’s it’d be good to have a version that’s ready to go and he’s just what you want. And just like rather than, oh, she got to do the hotkeys because you know what, there’s a lot going on. Sometimes it’s good just to have give the sax guy a moment.

Archie: You can just catch your breath, right?

Aleks: Another one is like Baker Street, right? And what the fuck do you do?

Archie: Rarely do I actually get Baker Street these days. It’s a bit more – a bit more old-school, but yeah.

Aleks: What about as a finisher? Cause like In Excess –

Archie: Yeah, that’s right.

Aleks: Depending on the crowd is good if it’s late in the night, but doesn’t work so well when it’s –

Archie: Yeah, you don’t do it too early. There are certain ones you don’t do too early. In Excess is a good one for me to finish on. I like it ’cause, you know, you do the whole theatrics, getting up on the chair and yeah, yeah, that sort of stuff.

Aleks: I mean, it’s a good sing-along anyway. It’s a good late-night sing-along.

Archie: Yeah, yeah. And like there’s things like Simply The Best which have a, a very distinct hook, you know, Simply The Best, you can follow that. So if there’s a, if there’s a song that has like a very distinct hook, regardless of the instrument, I’ll just follow that.

Aleks: Yeah, yeah.

Archie: They don’t – they don’t really care if you can play all the jazz modes and improv on these different key signatures and sound like, like John Coltrane. It’s actually too much. Yeah, they want –

Aleks: Too technical.

Eddy: It’s pop songs.

Archie: They want the theatrics of yeah, if anything, they, they are really there for the first 20 minutes where that’s the highest impact. It’s a surprise. “Oh my God, he’s the celebrant.” Yeah. Yeah, it’s that. And then from there, after they’ve gotten used to the fact that you’re on the dance floor, you’re just kind of settling in. You’re adding tasteful hooks and licks to and – and – and following on and playing in unison with something that’s happening. Musically, there might be a bit of a scope sort of in between phrases of a certain song where you can do a bit of a run here and there. Like for example, with Whitney Houston’s I Wanna Dance with Somebody. I don’t actually play the, the melod, the melody, the melodic lines of I Wanna Dance with Somebody, you know, “Oh, I want to dance…”

Aleks: I’m sorry against the melodic lines being played by the sax.

Archie: Right. So I don’t play those melodic lines, I play in between. So, “Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody.”

Aleks: Yeah.

Archie: “I wanna feel the heat with somebody,” that’s –

Aleks: I think that should be a reel just you doing that, explaining. We’ll cut it up that way, we’ll cut it up, we’ll cut it up, and then we’ll layer it with some. Maybe you can do it in your fancy Premiere Pro.

Archie: There you go. There you go.

Aleks: And put in – insert Archie there, there.

Archie: But yeah.

Aleks: That sounds so much better, doesn’t –

Archie: It, yeah, there’s a way of tastefully doing it so it doesn’t, because otherwise it’s two hours of people getting blasted.

Eddy: Yeah, and death by sax I call –

Archie: It, yeah, it can be. And so you’ve got to be mindful of the fact that you want to fit in. You don’t always need to be playing.

Aleks: No, two hours is a – it’s a long, hefty time.

Archie: I tend to be on the side of where I’m playing for three or four songs in a row. I know there some sax players who will maybe play 1 and then sit off and then one off, one off. That’s fine. I tend to be sort of more of the 3 to 4 or five and then I’ll sit off for maybe 2 or –

Aleks: Three, that’s exactly what our sax players issue. It works so well. Like, you just got the right –

Archie: Amount gives the appropriate amount. Plus yeah, it gives more narrative to the dance floor. Gives you guys scopes to take it in a bit of a different direction. Maybe more R&B or hip hop or TikTok tunes or K-pop, whatever you can.

Aleks: TikTok tunes, not K-pop, K –

Archie: Pop. That’s the way the generation’s going. I guess that’s what it is. We – we move with the time.

Aleks: Young and fresh people do.

Archie: Yeah, yeah, young and fresh and hip and cool with a bit of mayo on top. But yeah, I find there’s an art to it. You don’t always have to be playing. You can – I can literally just stand there with the – with the saxophone in my hands and like kind of moving it cool ways and sort of holding it up and like fist-pumping with it in my hands and doing some, you know, slap drops or –

Aleks: And that’s enough.

Archie: Yeah, honestly, sometimes that’s enough. They just want you to be a vibe and not always blasting in their face. And if you are blasting, make sure it’s tasteful, when it’s in line with what’s actually thing. You don’t have to show off that you went to the VCA.

Aleks: Yeah, yeah. And also depending on the crowd, right. So like some people will want you to get right in the middle and they’ll mimic the the or whatever. I mean, there’s others that maybe a little bit more like are enjoying it but a little bit more reserved or delay on the –

Archie: Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are certain sort of mechanics of where I think there’s a sweet spot for the saxophone, where I think I’ll always ask the – the couple how many guests they’re gonna have, because I find that the saxophone thing will go one way or another depending on how many guests. So I find that anything under 80 guests, your crowd’s gonna thin out pretty quickly on the dance floor after that first initial sort of 20 minutes-ish. So therefore, you’ve got me for another hour and 40 minutes on the dance floor. Maybe we can think about splitting me up. So I do some dinner schmoozy stuff. And then now or – so you think about the logistics of that. You think about – yeah, the, the – what else do I think about? I think about – yeah, the age of the, the people there. You think about how you gauge what – during the ceremony, if you’re the celebrant as well, you gauge where people are at, how kind of into it they’re going to be, so –

Aleks: You’re like, “They’ll hate the sax, the whole thing’s off.”

Archie: Or, you know, they’re just going to be awkward, so therefore you know for a fact that they’re going to do that awkward eventual, like, standing around in a circle.

Aleks: Circle dancing. You’re like –

Archie: Fucking hate that.

Aleks: But it happens. It happens even like, say, without sax, like when we’re like DJ and I know for a fact, like the couple didn’t want to do a first dance. They don’t want a farewell circle and –

Archie: Then suddenly they’re just stuck in –

Aleks: The media organically, just because they happen to be dancing together, everyone’s like, “No, it’s time to make a circle and look at the couple for the next 5 songs.” Yeah, and you almost need to like as the DJ, you need to like drop, jump around or something, keep all like – just mix up the vibe and the couples relate like, “Oh, thank God, like, other people come in,” because it’s like –

Eddy: They’re always like kind of coming with –

Archie: Us, so yeah. And there are a couple of tricks to kind of deal with that as a sax player too, because you’re almost expected to get in there in the middle with them and – and be that vibe and you’re like, “I understand my role. I’m everyone eyes on me, I’m showing off, I’m the entertainer. That’s fine.” But I’m also like, “I’m playing.” I’ll, I’ll tolerate it for a few minutes, but then I’ll go, “Look at all this real estate here,” and then I’ll maybe grab an auntie and give her a twirl. And then suddenly there’s a few more people in there with me. And – but then I’ll also like, I won’t really tolerate it for too long. I’ll do it maybe a minute or two, and then I’ll fucking go to another corner and dance with those people. And then that circle becomes their problem.

Aleks: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. The circle. The dreaded –

Eddy: Circle no one talks about.

Aleks: There’s unwanted circle.

Archie: There’s mechanics and like, yeah, definitely logistics to dance floor stuff often, like the – the narrative of a dance floor as well, right? You can’t go too early with the big bangers. You can’t sort of – yeah. You’ve got to, you know, you’re not bringing Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! straight in, right? Like you –

Aleks: Unless it’s the dance floor start song that’s chosen by the couple. Whoa. If I’m waiting around it, yeah.

Archie: Sure, but like –

Aleks: Yeah, it’s a peak. It’s a peak moment.

Archie: You’ve got to know the narrative of –

Eddy: A dance floor. There’s definitely peaks and troughs. You can’t be at 11 the whole time.

Aleks: And that’s why you can’t pre-prepare, my favourite word. Yeah, it’s for dance floor sets. You –

Eddy: Know you can’t because you don’t know what’s gonna happen, but it’s been – it’s interesting talking about this because I’ve had instances. I have a lot of long dance floors, like, I’m talking about 3 1/2, four hours, like, a real marathon, like, wow.

Aleks: There are several.

Archie: They wanna have some espresso martinis or something.

Eddy: Oh yeah. But I’ve been really, really lucky in that like people are there and they’re – they’re having a really great time. That’s exhausting. That’s super exhausting. Did you? But like I’m finding even though like this is really, really exhausting, I am really riding that wave at the moment and coming right down, going right up. I think it’s almost lost in the sphere of TikTok and like Bang Bang quick, don’t mix, whereas it’s –

Expert Advice: Booking Vendors and Avoiding Wedding Woes

Eddy: Nice 30 seconds, 30. Well, imagine if you like quick mixing or not like people expect –

Eddy: You can’t do –

Aleks: That all night for a four-hour dance floor like people –

Eddy: You can’t. No, you can’t undo that and that –

Archie: There are spots where it’s appropriate. I – I agree there are spots where it’s like, yeah, quick mix because you have maybe heard that sick reel on TikTok or Instagram where those particular three or two or three tracks work really well together, and you go, “I’m gonna steal that trick.” Bam, do it. But there are some bits where you just like, oh, fuck, the couple insisted on having Innerbloom by RÜFÜS DU SOL. Yeah, yeah. And that’s just a moment for that, maybe towards the end or something. And Innerbloom, can you just play out, and you can mix maybe a cool melodic line from something else in there, and you can give it the space that it needs. And a lot of people kind of appreciate that, too. Yeah, comes down to you guys and your skill is being able to read the room.

Aleks: Play the room.

Eddy: Exactly, that’s the key, reading the room ’cause –

Aleks: Like that 10 minutes. I mean, yeah, I have played before. Like, I think I do a bathroom during dinner –

Eddy: 3 – 3 – 3 – 4 years later, the original –

Aleks: Is like 10 minutes. And like earlier in my DJ career, I was like, “Probably should get a shorter version of,” well, good. If you ever go to the toilet, good. Yeah, toilet.

Archie: And then they come back and –

Aleks: There’s somebody else on the –

Eddy: Next. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Aleks: Every – No, no, no, I very rarely like I have to be desperate to go to the toilet and dream dance floor, right? I will like you must.

Archie: Never see Aleks going to the bathroom. She’s doing a big shit doing a –

Eddy: Big yeah. Well, yeah, when you gotta go, you gotta go, right?

Eddy: Yeah, that’s it.

Aleks: What’s happened? Something hasn’t agreed with me.

Eddy: You almost want to pluck someone from the venue as well. Like, just – just stand here like –

Archie: Yeah, true.

Eddy: Just stand here, don’t let –

Archie: Security guard, give them something.

Eddy: If there is one.

Aleks: God, it’s pretty rare that we have security guards to be honest.

Archie: Suppose to get one of trust, yeah.

Eddy: Yeah, they’re like way –

Archie: Yeah, they’re true. They’re.

Aleks: Outside, I have, I have, I have been at some weddings like State Library where it’s been, even though I’ve been on a stage, it’s been hectic like 250 very loose units and I’ve said to security, “Can you just like be around in front of me? Just stand in front of me the whole night, so you –”

Archie: Don’t end up with Prosecco all over your desk.

Aleks: Well, that’s separate, but it’s, I think we’ve had enough traumatic stories for today. To be honest, I’m not sure anymore.

Archie: We could – we could talk those for days.

Aleks: Well, we, I mean, that is – we don’t want to – we don’t want to put couples off too much, but that is a future episode. He’s doing that, you know, Glenn Nichols. Yeah. He used to do the confessions. I love it. Yeah. Confessions of like from vendors. And it’s like, yeah, it’s fun and it’s funny, but you also don’t want to like –

Archie: You don’t want to shit on our industry.

Aleks: No, it’s the vendors. It’s, you know, we shit. Yeah, trauma bonding is the right term. But look, she –

Eddy: Happens.

Aleks: But your vendors look after it and it’s it’s, it’s a funny story, as you said, most of the time, unless someone dies.

Archie: Yeah, which –

Eddy: You know, unfortunately can happen.

Archie: Yeah, yeah. I’m so sorry that happened to you. That’s wild.

Aleks: I’m sorry for the, I’m sorry for the couple. Obviously I’m sad, but yeah, you know, these things happen and yeah.

Eddy: I think it’s a, it’s almost a numbers game, so the more you do the –

Aleks: More, you know, of course you’re gonna see –

Eddy: The war stories you’re gonna have.

Archie: That’s why we charge what we charge, comes –

Eddy: From experience.

Aleks: Yeah, yeah. And all the stuff we do, we didn’t even go into the funerals, but this is a wedding podcast. So. But maybe it’s a – do you have any other final questions?

Eddy: No, we’ve got –

Archie: We’ve got well over –

Eddy: No, I love it. It’s probably – this would be our longest episode of I would say of this.

Eddy: It is potentially, it’s been awesome. I think we’ve gone in so many different directions and so many tangents, which is what we want, and we hope that the people that are listening right now liked it as well.

Aleks: And if you like us, book one of us as you celebrate, because this is what we like. There’s three –

Archie: Perfectly good options right here.

Aleks: Slash DJ, slash MC, slash saxophone, slash video band –

Archie: Wedding banter, wedding –

Eddy: Banter things, yeah.

Archie: Content-capturing King and Queens here.

Aleks: Yeah, yeah. Which we do.

Eddy: We are busy, yes.

Aleks: So what’s the best way people get in touch? Are you like, are you like a “don’t DM me with an inquiry”?

Archie: I’m a DM me, but if you DM me, I’ll just direct you straight to my website.

Aleks: Yeah. Your pricing’s on there or the info’s on –

Archie: There? Yeah. Yeah, I like – a DM usually implies that they’ve like either seen me at the thing or yeah, like seen a content piece of some sort and gone, “That’s my vibe.” So that’s – that’s really cool.

Aleks: Yeah.

Archie: Yeah, but yeah, just Archibald the Celebrant on – on all of the various social media things. Yeah, I go everywhere. I go anywhere, whatever you need, give us a shout-out. But –

Eddy: So you – you do travel? Oh, obviously you do –

Archie: Travel? Yeah, all –

Aleks: The time.

Archie: Yeah, yeah, travel. But yeah, it’s, it’s one of those ones that you quote accordingly, I guess.

Aleks: Yeah, of course. Yeah.

Eddy: Yeah, there’s also what’s around it and how energetic you might feel that. Yeah.

Archie: Yeah, sometimes you give them the fuck off quote and if you want me to go up to Broken Hill, oh.

Eddy: Yeah, well, there you go. Sounds –

Aleks: Good. If you’re getting married five hours away, expect a high quote. Yeah. Yeah, it’s. You’re having a 40th on New Year’s Eve. Oh.

Archie: Expect –

Aleks: A high quote. I just got back and I was like, people charge at least double. They’re like, “Wow, I’m like –”

Eddy: Won us out of the waterfall, yeah.

Aleks: That’s – oh, yeah, no one wants to work on New Year’s Eve, probably. And yeah, there’s lots of gigs going around. So yeah. What is that? No, but we love you, couples. We love you. Archie, thank you for joining us. That was so good.

Eddy: So good.

Aleks: You’ve really energised us and yeah, let’s manifest some gigs together.

Archie: Yeah, more, more of that, please. That’d be fun because I’ve – I’ve teamed up with you twice now, Ed, but –

Eddy: With yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Archie: We – we had that one of the trust as well as – as well as the corporate. But then –

Aleks: I did ask you about one recently, but it’s like the most popular date ever, 28th of November. So it’s not. Yeah, no.

Archie: Sorry.

Aleks: I’m like –

Archie: Babes.

Aleks: No, yeah, no.

Archie: One real popular date as well has been the date that Aleks and I are getting married on, the 28th of February.

Eddy: Yeah.

Archie: Yeah, it’s like the whole weekend, everyone keeps hitting me up, and like, damn, damn.

Aleks: You’re like, “Am I be able to make it? How far is the drive?”

Archie: I think I could squeeze you, yeah.

Aleks: Actually, I was actually a crazy story that your first ceremony that you ever did a celebrant, your couple bought a house that day. And I was for some reason this, like I was thinking about it this morning, they bought a house. Did they go to an auction?

Eddy: That they had a proxy to go in there.

Aleks: And they – they –

Eddy: Won the yeah, they won the auction that day.

Archie: Proxy bought a house and they got married and they –

Eddy: Just say that or I got the update like literally before we were starting because you were going to add it and I’m like, “I’ll add it in now.” Oh yeah, mentioned.

Aleks: Great announcement, yeah.

Archie: Congratulations, you’ve got a new husband and a house.

Aleks: Pretty much, for some reason I’m waiting in my head this morning and I was like, “Did they like go to the auction like –”

Eddy: No, I didn’t.

Aleks: Get my hair, makeup done, off I go, like, no, OK, it –

Eddy: Was it?

Archie: Yeah, she’s got her – she’s got her rollers in while she’s –

Aleks: Yeah, yeah, yeah. She’s like roll up and now it’s getting done. Yeah. What? What? Yeah. 1.5 yeah. 1.5 Probably the medium, yeah.

Archie: Guys, yes, you know smoke dust, ninja dust, I’m out of here. Thanks for –

Aleks: Having me, mic drop. Thank you to next time. Thanks for joining us. Bye bye.