S6, EP6: All the small things

Aleks: Your wedding should feel like the best version of you, not a performance and definitely not a chore. I’m Aleks.

Eddy: And I’m Eddy. Welcome back to Project Engaged. We’re both celebrants, DJs, and MCs who believe that when you throw out the wedding rule book, you’re left with a day that’s actually fun, authentic, and completely true to who you are.

Aleks: This season, we’re sharing the secrets to a celebration that flows naturally, keeps your guests happy, and stays focused on what matters.

Eddy: No fl – no pressure. Just great advice for a great party. Let’s do it. All right, we’re back.

Aleks: Hi. Back we are. Back we are.

Eddy: Yeah.

Aleks: All right, Yoda, calm down.

Eddy: Calm down. You will. Um, okay. So, I mean, let’s just talk about Star Wars the whole time. That’ll be pretty sweet.

Aleks: No, let’s talk about Halo, cuz you’re wearing a Halo t-shirt. I’m glad you dress up for the occasion.

Eddy: Ed loves his novelty t-shirts. I have a selection of novelty band/video game t-shirts and that’s kind of what I wear day-to-day. You know, if you want me to wear one at your wedding, feel free. I will put a blazer over the top of it, though.

Aleks: That could be a vibe, actually.

Eddy: It could be a vibe.

Aleks: Cool. So, today’s episode, we’re chatting uh all about these small things.

Eddy: I want to sneeze. Sorry.

Aleks: All about the small things that couples can forget about or should consider that make quite a big impact on their day.

Eddy: Yeah. Yeah. And we’ve called it all the small things. Do you get it? Because it’s a song.

Aleks: Which was very clever. I think you came up with that actually to be fair. But anyway, we wanted to just share little bits of advice. It’s a bit haphazard and a bit random, but hopefully um there’ll be lots of little nuggets that you can take away while you’re planning your own wedding.

Aleks: We’ll have a couple of our own, but we also reached out to our uh very large wedding vendor community to ask for their bits of advice. So, you’re getting a lot of different perspectives. So, thank you to everyone and we’ll give a shout out to each person as we discuss their advice and also give a little bit of our input.

Eddy: User generated content.

Aleks: That is exactly right. Um, now before we get into it, I just wanted to do a little bit of a shout out to a a couple that uh whose wedding I’m doing in August. I’m DJ and I think I’m MC. Uh anyway, uh they are very very big loyal listeners of the podcast. So, Amy and Rachel. And I bumped into them at a wedding the other day.

Eddy: That’s fun.

Aleks: It was so fun. And um yeah, hi Amy and Rachel. And thank you for listening.

Eddy: Hello.

Aleks: All right. Should we get into it?

Eddy: Let’s get into it.

Aleks: All right. So, as I said, these are going to – there’s no real order to this. It’s a bit bit of madness, but write it down in your keep notes. Uh we’ll also have a blog go up with it as well so that you can have a little read.

Aleks: All right. So, we’re going to start off with our kind of three bits that we have, bits of advice, small things that couples often forget about but make a big difference to your day. Do you want to cap off the first one? Cap.

Eddy: Yeah. So, this is uh if say we’re DJing, but you have a friend or family member doing the MC part for your wedding. Um, and it’s just to sort of tie everything off after each moment. So, what I’m saying is, uh, you know, you just had a first round of speeches.

Aleks: Oh my god, this is massive.

Eddy: So, um, sometimes we’ve had cases where, uh, we’re sort of waiting for the MC to grab the mic and do something, but then you just realise that they’re not going to do that. So, there’s a bit of a pause in the music after the speech for that particular round and it’s just a verging on awkward um particularly for us.

Aleks: Yeah.

Eddy: So, it’s just nice to kind of round things out. Um and also we certainly do this when we’re MCing. We kind of give a bit of a rundown as to what’s going to happen on the night. Um so that’s kind of helpful as well – might be in the too much to ask basket potentially. I reckon it’s not professional. Yeah, it’s not always necessary. But I think just to round each moment out um and just mention to your guests what’s happening next.

Aleks: Yeah, absolutely. I said this to the MCs the other night. I was like, “Will you kind of finish off each bit?” And they were like, “What do you mean?” They were definitely not planning to do it.

Eddy: Yeah.

Aleks: Like, just let people know. And entree will be next or we’ll be back for speeches or whatever it is.

Eddy: Yeah. You almost have to sort of overmanage and you can’t assume anything. In fact, um, a funny thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago where the MC uh, he he did the right thing. He came up to me um, a couple of times before the reception kicked off cuz I was involved in the ceremony as well.

Eddy: We had a bit of a chat of what’s going to happen and I thought, “Okay, this, you know, this guy’s on to it.” And he sort of tapped me on the shoulder 5 minutes before the couple were going to arrive back in for the reception cuz they were coming in to um Love at First Sight by Kylie. So, I, you know, I was going to have that ready to go. Um, next thing I knew, the couple were just walking in without an announcement. So, I’m like, “Oh, no.” So, I quickly had to obviously grab the track and throw it down.

Aleks: Yeah. So, just just little things like that.

Eddy: Yeah. It’s uh little but actually huge cuz you kind of lose the energy of that moment. If it doesn’t happen, there’s no music when the couple are dancing in. So, yeah, really important. Let your MC know to to let people know what’s happening next if it’s not your DJ or your celebrant or a professional MC.

Aleks: Cool. I think that one we have talked enough about. The next one’s quite similar and it is to make sure that your celebrant does a bit of housekeeping at the end of the ceremony. So, right before you come back up the aisle.

Aleks: I have actually played music for ceremonies where I haven’t been a celebrant and I’ve seen this not happen and and guests are left confused. So, basically letting people know what’s happening next. Hey, after so and so have come up the aisle. We’re going to enjoy cocktail hour in this area. Um, family, please stay behind for some photos and then we’ll head inside for the reception at 6 p.m. or whatever it is. It basically means people know exactly what’s going on. They know where to go. Uh, and you don’t have to wrangle people for photos who are actually meant to be in a spot at a particular time.

Eddy: So important. So, so important. Very similar to the MC point that we made get your celebrant to let people know what is happening next.

Aleks: I mean, so far all these things are just about communicating to your guests.

Eddy: So, if we actually like did this in a proper structured way, we would have like different topics. So, like communication and comfort, but anyway, we don’t. So, just enjoy the uh craziness of this episode.

Aleks: Speaking of comfort, the next one, comfort. Yes. Now, I had an experience with this recently, but um you know, when it comes to weather, and we’ve talked about this ad nauseam, but couples often think about rain and what to do if it rains, but they don’t think about what happens when it’s very hot or it’s very windy or a combination of any of those.

Eddy: Um, and this, you know, especially applies to equipment, uh, as well. So, equipment for your celebrant, for your DJ, whoever’s looking after music. What happens if it’s a really hot day, really sunny, really windy? Is the equipment protected? Cuz that’s going to kill the vibe of your ceremony.

Eddy: Rain, also, I think couples don’t consider that rain does not fall um perpendicular to the ground in a straight neat line. So even if you decide to have the ceremony outside and it’s drizzling and you put your musician or your celebrant or your DJ under an umbrella, the chances are they’re still going to get wet and their equipment is going to get ruined.

Aleks: Yeah, and that’s please think about it, please.

Eddy: But that’s equipment, but it’s also people are getting rained on and people are like getting really hot, particularly um older people as well.

Aleks: Sorry, I’m being selfish.

Eddy: Um that can be really really stressful. Um, you know, a small thing that’s a big thing is, uh, you know, on a hot day or a day that they know is going to be hot, have bottles of water to give out during the ceremony so people can stay hydrated. Um, I’ve had times where that hasn’t been the case as well.

Aleks: Same.

Eddy: So, that’s a really important one.

Aleks: Parasol.

Eddy: Yep. Like umbrellas parasol.

Aleks: Yeah. I mean, protection uh from the elements in in all facets of what that means. I think I feel like some couples do think about that really well. But again, the reason I’m mention the equipment thing is because that is the one thing that no one considers. Like I’ve never I’ve like in terms of the venue like people kind of don’t really think, hey, this is electronic equipment.

Eddy: Well, I’ve always said it’s because you can get your iPhone wet.

Aleks: That’s why.

Eddy: Well, we’re Android users.

Aleks: No, we can get our Androids wet too, but everything’s IP rated to a certain extent or IPX rated to a certain extent.

Eddy: That’s why people think, oh, you know, it doesn’t really matter if you get a bit of drizzle, but like yeah, equipment um is in is in sort of built for inside outside rug dies, etc. But you you can’t have too much uh you can’t have too much rain on them.

Aleks: No. So, yeah. So, there are our three things. Make sure your MC finish off each kind of key moment. Make sure your celebrant announces what’s happening at the end of the ceremony and consider all weather options and plan Bs and protection for comfort and as well as protecting equipment and other things like that. Cool. All right, we’re going to get into some tips from our community.

Eddy: You don’t like my hand?

Aleks: Sorry, I’ve got like one hand. That’s really active for those listening and not on video.

Eddy: And it looks like I’m just going to like you. Sorry. I’ll calm down.

Aleks: You want to kick off the first one?

Eddy: Yeah. Okay. Introduce our first contributor.

Aleks: Yes. Well, um, big fan of the show. Uh, big fan of the show, Rachel. Uh, the wedding events coordinator from Cleveland Estate over in the Macedon Ranges. Hello.

Eddy: Shout out Rachel.

Aleks: Shout out to you. Um, and she said, “Make the day represent you rather than following trends. Trends that are popular on those social media apps, TikTok, Instagram.”

Eddy: Okay, old man. Or you know those old social media apps. Yes, I think everyone knows what TikTok and Instagram are. But yeah, interesting, isn’t it? Coming from a venue and from some

Aleks: Well, venues would see so much of it.

Eddy: They would see it all. They’d have so many different types of weddings. Um, I have particularly seen this myself around content and creating moments for the sake of capturing content.

Aleks: The moment Yeah.

Eddy: And the problem with that is your wedding becomes a production like a carefully curated production rather than an organic day that flows that is a celebration. It becomes this full-on intense kind of like let’s get ready for this next moment which just kills the vibe. If you want a good atmosphere and you want to actually enjoy your day, it really does kill the vibe.

Aleks: Yeah.

Eddy: Um have you have you seen any kind of trends that you’ve seen that you’ve sort of thought, “Oh, this is overdone or people are just doing it for you know, a reel or a photo opportunity.”

Aleks: Um, I’m pretty lucky that I haven’t seen too much of that at all.

Eddy: Yeah.

Aleks: Um, I mean, your couples are the same as my couples.

Eddy: I know. Well, we don’t need tend to see that often.

Aleks: They’re really relaxed and, you know, a lot of the time they they don’t want to be in the limelight. Um, which is funny given they they plan a big wedding, but um, they want to they’re doing it for everyone else to really enjoy themselves as much as them.

Eddy: Totally.

Aleks: It doesn’t really equate a lot of the time to to curated moments. I sometimes see maybe photographers and videographers um almost taking the reigns and saying actually I’ll give you one sorry I will give you one – um a couple declined this but a photographer um wanting to uh get a photo of the couple with the wedding certificate after they’ve signed of a celebrant and like sitting like this in there they politely declined it.

Aleks: So I guess that falls into that category in a sense but Yeah, we’re we’re pretty lucky. We don’t have too many of those uh cringe moments.

Eddy: No, I wouldn’t say that’s the trend. I mean, maybe it is, but

Aleks: Well, I don’t I I don’t know. That’s the best thing I could come up.

Eddy: But yeah, but doing that because you think you need to do that. So, I think that was Rachel’s points is like don’t do something because you think you need to do it. Like, you do not need that fugly photo of you with the participation certificate as I like to call it.

Aleks: Yeah, it was a Yeah, I mean that’s kind of what it is in a sense. The real legal one’s not that one. So, um Yeah. So, that’s that’s the only thing I can kind of think of. You had a wedding not too long ago. We won’t mention the venue, but winery venue um where there was a lot of that happening.

Eddy: Lots lots. There was like um you know, kind of the bride moving away from the dance floor to get her haircut to do a big haircut reveal. I think that was trending on TikTok for a while. I don’t know. Bizarre like a a bizarre string of content in um content moments, I should say.

Eddy: But the the funny thing is the family and friends wanted to have a good time. They were dancing. But it was like distracting and disrupting to have the couple being pulled back and forth just because they had to be there for these moments to be captured. So, I found it really offputting. I have to say it wasn’t our usual type of wedding and was the only one I’ve had that that was like that. But it it really made me feel like uh this doesn’t work if you want a really really fun kind of vibe.

Aleks: Sorry, just to stop. What kind of haircut was it? Like full like from long to bob.

Eddy: I’m just picturing like a bowl and just like you’re in the middle of the dance floor getting cut.

Aleks: Oh yeah, it wasn’t in the middle of No, it was taken away. The bride was taken away to the bridal suite. I hate using the term bridal suite, but that’s unfortunately what the venues call it. Bridal suite. Got a haircut, came in the dance floor like towards the end.

Eddy: Did everyone reveal? I probably wouldn’t have even

Aleks: Oh, she got people ready to make sure that everyone noticed.

Eddy: I know something different about you.

Aleks: It was uh Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That would be you. If I came home with a bob, you’d be like, “Did you change your eye?”

Eddy: Outfit. What I was going to say, though, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with following trends if they suit you as a couple and it’s something you want to do. And I’m seeing a lot of um tiramisu cakes instead of like a proper trait cake with a spoon rather than a cutting. That’s absolutely fine. Like nothing wrong with that. Or um you know an espresso martini tower instead of a champagne tower.

Eddy: Sounds like a sticky disaster to me. But um nothing wrong with doing it. Just don’t feel like you need to follow a trend because you know what? It’s a trend for a reason. It’ll only be around for a little while and you’re going to look back on your content years later. How will you feel about your day?

Aleks: I think that’s important to think about.

Eddy: Yeah, definitely. And you know what? We can probably take this a step further and talk about um trending music as well, you know, like Dancing 2 and all those ones that just become huge on TikTok and then just disappear forever rather than choosing a song that’s just an absolute classic that just will never disappear.

Aleks: Yeah. So true.

Eddy: That’s a big one.

Aleks: So, will you um be happy when Dancing to Disappears?

Eddy: You played it?

Aleks: No.

Eddy: Same.

Aleks: I have not played that song.

Eddy: Same. No.

Aleks: Um yeah, for for whatever reason. I mean, obviously if someone requests that I play it, of course, no one’s requested that I play that song. So, no.

Eddy: Um, I have to say the only trending song I really did like and I mean it was obviously because we were in Melbourne was Get on the Beers.

Aleks: Yeah, that was pretty cool.

Eddy: But, you know, if you look back on that, you like that was a crazy time. Like if your wedding was just after co that was such a crazy time that it kind of like signifies what was happening at the time.

Eddy: I remember playing that song and um there was a certain person at a wedding, an older gentleman that getting really angry at me because I played it. But it was the song to start the dance floor. So, the couple chose it was at Glass House.

Aleks: Yeah.

Eddy: And um he was just letting me have it. And the whole wedding he was just sitting there watching the footy. I’m I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before on his phone, but I remember um Celebrant Z. He was a celebrant and she just laid into him after. It’s like, “Hey, shout out CB Z.”

Aleks: What did she say to him?

Eddy: I I sort of just told him off. Uh it politely told him or say, “Hey, look, this is a the couple chose this and this and that and the other.” So, and and then he loads left an hour later. I don’t know who this guy was how he was connected. But um yeah, obviously he was pretty pretty angry at Dan the Man um and just didn’t appreciate that song being played.

Aleks: I mean, that’s not your fault, though.

Eddy: No, of course not. But yeah, it was Yeah, that was pretty funny. Um yeah, trending music. I think just double check how much you like those that particular song and whether it’s going to stick around.

Aleks: Yeah.

Eddy: Um where is my husband’s one at the moment that’s popping off everywhere? Be interesting to see if that one sticks around as well.

Aleks: I mean, as far as like songs of today go. It’s a very well produced, you know, high quality tune. Like it’s not a it’s very unique and it’s got a big big sound. So, I don’t know like big kind of orchestra sound but or brass band sound. Anyway, yes, I’m I’m I’m a DJ, guys. Uh yeah, but you’re right. It is interesting. And yeah, if you really love something, obviously go for it, but don’t just pick a song because you think it’s popular.

Eddy: Yes.

Aleks: And not everyone in your guest list is gonna be a, you know, an addicted TikTok user either. So, something to consider.

Eddy: Cool. Thank you so much, Rachel, for that one. So, make the day represent you rather than following the trends. Couldn’t agree more.

Aleks: Yes. Next one. Ruby from Down the Road Weddings videographer Melbourne. She’s one of the best. She’s so much fun. She says, “Make sure that you have drinks for the ceremony. It sets the tone and is like a big fat welcome.”

Eddy: Yeah, love that. I mean, we’ve talked about this.

Aleks: So much.

Eddy: We agree.

Aleks: We agree. Yes. Drinks for your ceremony. Um, look, at the very least, just just keep people hydrated if if nothing else. It’s it’s polite, as Nat Sproul would say. It’s common courtesy to give people a drink as they as they come into an event. Um, but yeah, it does give a big big welcome and, you know, you do notice a difference just in kind of the mood at the beginning of a ceremony when you’ve got drinks versus when you don’t.

Eddy: Still have something in your hand if you, you know, even If you don’t drink, obviously just it’s good to have something in your hand while you’re talking to someone cuz otherwise what do you what do you do with your hand?

Aleks: Yeah, it can be a little bit awkward. So, you want people to feel relaxed. Thank you so much, Ruby from Down the Road. I feel like an actual radio presenter with these um shout outs. Anyway, do you want to kick off next time?

Eddy: So, Danny from Logan Events, very good friend of ours. And Logan Entertainment or Logan Entertainment. Yeah, it is Logan Ent and Logan Events.

Aleks: Events. Yes.

Eddy: So, she’s a singer, she’s a DJ, she’s a stylist. She does it all. She does it all. Um, so she said, and shout out to her mom, Maria, who I met over the weekend, um, who didn’t realise that I’m Aleks’s partner and just thought I was working for Aleks.

Aleks: Which was funny. Haha. Um, anyway, so I, so truth be told, um, one of Danny’s DJs uh, was unfortunately sick. So I helped her out at a wedding that she was styling for and obviously providing a DJ for, which is really fun. Um, And and yeah, I just thought it was funny.

Eddy: Maria,

Aleks: I love it. I’m just going to go along with it now. You work for me. Don’t you forget that.

Eddy: Well, you know, it is who owns most of

Aleks: Oh, okay. Let’s not get into

Eddy: No. Okay. Look, it’s 50 obviously, but I I kind of joke that I have a 51% share.

Aleks: You do. Can we talk about later? All right.

Eddy: Um, cool. So, Danny says, “Sit your family on the opposite side to where you stand at the ceremony.” So, when you face your partner to do the vows, you’ll see their faces. Um, if they sit on the same side, you end up looking they end up looking at your back the whole time, which is which is true.

Aleks: It’s so true.

Eddy: Um, that’s such a amazing piece of advice.

Aleks: I know it is. And I have to say, um, I don’t know if you’ve had this experience as a celebrant, but most of the time the couple has not thought about which side to stand on. And sometimes I’ll have, you know, I haven’t seen the couple yet, but um, family and friends are arriving and they’ll ask which side to sit on.

Eddy: Some sometimes the couple are like, “We don’t care.”

Aleks: You know, most of the time like we don’t care sit anywhere. But then when they face each other to exchange rings and do their personal vows, then you do kind of want your family at least in the first couple of rows to be looking at you, you know, at your back. So, it is a bloody good tip and honestly one that as a celebrant I will be thinking about now.

Eddy: Definitely.

Aleks: Yeah. Just to mention it.

Eddy: 100%. 100%. We’ve given Danny a few because she’s got so many hats that she wears.

Aleks: Oh, for sure.

Eddy: So, another one she’s um sent through is uh don’t try and time your aisle walk um to to the song for instance. So if people are thinking about how to walk, you won’t look natural. And just as an aside, this is the same thing for like doing a choreographed dance at your wedding too for later on.

Eddy: Um I find that they’re just worried about their steps more than just being being in the moment. Um and yeah, so just for the aisle walk, you’re not in the moment if you are hoping to get to the destination before a certain part of the song or whatever it might be.

Aleks: Yeah.

Eddy: Um Sivant John, shout out to John. He actually agrees with this and says if you if you want to enter to a particular part of the song for your ceremony, you’re just going to stress yourself out.

Aleks: Yeah, I see this all the time to be honest. And a lot of my couples will just end up scrapping it. And uh one way that they do that is by uh you know introducing another song for the aisle.

Aleks: So that for example, if in you know if it’s you guys coming down the couple and you’ve got some wedding party members coming before you, they have a separate song. So you don’t have to stress so much about the timing.

Eddy: And that works. Well, because say if you have, let’s say you’ve got like three or four bridesmaids coming down um before a bride, what you can do uh is what I like to do as DJ if I’m if I’m playing the tunes is after say the the last bridesmaid walks on in, gets into position, bring the track down, pause for effect, and then bring the track in for

Aleks: nice,

Eddy: you know, if it’s a bride, the bride.

Aleks: Perfect.

Eddy: So, I think that works quite well. Kind of resets everything and builds that tension and you hit him with that next track.

Aleks: Yes. Very good. Very good advice. And the last one from a uh Oh, no. She’s got two more. From a styling perspective, and I love this cuz I actually noticed it the other day is looking at table styling.

Aleks: If you’ve got a sit down reception, the decor in the middle of the tables obviously looks great as long as it doesn’t impede on guest experience. And I’ve seen this happen. Um if it’s too high, people can’t see over whatever is on the table to be able to chat with the person across from them. Um, if there’s too much stuff and you’re doing shared plates, there’s no room to actually drop the shared plates or platter on the table.

Aleks: I saw this the other day. It was really tricky. Um, basically the servers had to reshuffle the beautiful table setting to actually fit the meals on the table. So, I’m like, uh, probably needed less stuff on the table. Um, so really, really important because it does impact the guest experience and people being able to, you know, chat to each other and get to know each other. So, that’s a great great tip. So, Too many trinkets.

Eddy: Too many trinkets. Too many g – No, not gadgets. Too many trinkets. Um, and you know, even though it looks pretty, uh, it’ll be a mess by the end if you have to shuffle everything around. So, beauty and practicality.

Aleks: Yes.

Eddy: Yes. Keep it on the simple side. It’s probably better or impactful, you know, like you often see just a small little glass um vase or vase, I should say. Who says vase? No one. With um just small little pops of colour, you know, small little um floral arrangements. And that is perfect for for a table setting.

Aleks: Oh, for sure. Not that we’re stylists, but yeah,

Eddy: we’re not far far from it from my perspective. Anyway, um the last one she’s sent through, which is an absolute banger of of a suggestion, is if you want people on the dance floor as a couple, be on the dance floor.

Aleks: Yes.

Eddy: Seen this so many times. You know, the couple uh a look, rightly so, they might be floating around talking to people, all that kind of stuff. I understand that, but it does have an effect on your on your dance floor. For sure.

Aleks: It definitely does. And I find that if you’re going to float around, couples tend to do it kind of like I would say halfway to two-thirds of the way through the dance floor, which is great as long as you’re back for that last push, that last hour or whatever it is.

Aleks: Um I often I often find I think we talked about this when um in a previous episode when we talked about the realities of wedding dance floor. There is that little bit of a lull that happens kind of halfway two-thirds in when the couple shoot off and then they often come back. and it’s for you. You want it to be that last stretch to really be a banger. So, I love that advice. Thank you so much, Danny.

Eddy: Oh, thank you, Danny. What’s next?

Aleks: Well, this next one is from Justinta from Champagne Electric who we had on an episode. Um, and again, she wears many hats. She’s a musician. She’s a stylist. She’s a planner, coordinator, and she’s a florist.

Eddy: Well, not too florist. Yeah. Not too dissimilar from Danny. Um,

Aleks: not no actually. Yes. Very similar. Um, and And I love this one. She says, “Spend time with each other.”

Eddy: It’s funny, and this is amazing advice. This is the last piece of advice I’ll always give every couple on our last uh video chat. Um you know, during usually the week of the wedding is like make sure that’s what you do. The day the day goes so fast.

Aleks: Yes.

Eddy: Um and you are pulled around and everyone wants a piece of you basically. Everyone wants your attention and particularly if you got a large guest list as well. Um it can be quite intimidating to try and get around everyone and but yeah, just just take yourselves out of the equation, you know, once or twice during the night and just spend some quality time with each other.

Eddy: Um I had a couple and I don’t know if it hap – I don’t know if it actually happened in the end, but there was a point where um they were going to just sneak out and have some gelato together.

Aleks: Oh, that’s

Eddy: I can’t remember whether they did that cuz it was such a packed dance floor and I to be honest, I didn’t have eyes on the couple the whole – Um, so maybe they would have done that and come back. Um, but yeah, that’s just a great little thing that you can build in um to to to your night or your day and just enjoy.

Aleks: Yeah, don’t forget to spend time with each other. It goes by in a blur as everyone says and you want to make sure you’ve had those moments. A couple of tips from from us to make that happen is obviously like get getting ready together and having those photos as you’re getting ready together.

Aleks: If that’s not your vibe, first look photos allow you to have a kind of extra half hour where it’s just the two of you and your photographer and videographer. Um, a lot of my couples lately have been doing a private vow exchange, so they don’t want to exchange vows in front of everyone during the ceremony. Totally understand, read them out to each other, which I absolutely love.

Aleks: Um, at the end of the ceremony, if you plan to be there for cocktail hour, which is quite an intense part and fun, but intense part of the day where everyone’s congratulating you, wants to chat to you. Um, take maybe take 10 – 15 minutes straight after the ceremony where you’re whisked away. Yep. Have a glass of bubbles, have something to eat. and just like decompress a little bit with your partner um before you have to go and hug everyone and do all the congrats and all that sort of thing.

Aleks: Um and I guess the last sort of thing I want to say and a lot of planners will say this is actually to build time into the run sheet to have that moment. So put in put in a specific time where you have a 15-minute break to shoot off from the dance floor and just have a moment together have a drink and

Eddy: and like also whoever’s coordinating that particular wedding whether it’s venue and look if it’s if it’s one of us if we’re celebrant um DJ MC usually get a free uh wedding coordinator out of that, i.e. one of us. But if if that’s not the case, just make sure your coordinator taps you on the shoulder and says, “Hey guys, um you know, if you’re able to, let’s let’s sneak on out.” Um because yeah, cuz you time goes so quickly, you can really lose track um track of where where the time’s at at your wedding. So

Aleks: I don’t know if you’ve seen this, but our um there’s been a lot of reels on Instagram from our American counterparts, American DJs, posting about the private last dance. So once guests have left, um just taking a moment to do a dance just the two of you.

Eddy: I I do like that. I think logistically it’d be a hard thing to do because people hang around. It takes them a while to to move or maybe in America culture, it’s different. People just get out straight away.

Eddy: In Australia, you’re seeing like sometimes the um the security guards, if you’ve got them, you kind of edge closer and closer and closer and just like come on guys, it’s time to go. But people are obviously wanting to chat and just particularly if it’s if there’s nowhere to go that’s kind of nearby the venue or if there’s not a planned all we’re all going to meet here for those that want to kind of carry on.

Aleks: It won’t work for every room and every venue logistically as you said. I think where it would work well is if you’ve got like buses collecting people maybe finish 10 minutes early, get them on the bus and if you’re staying on site. So there are there are venues that this would apply to and then you can have that kind of 10 minutes.

Eddy: I’m just wondering if anyone’s listening that is a vendor uh whether they’ve seen that happen uh before. I mean usually the photographer and videographer have gone by that stage. So, it would kind of be almost be on the DJ to get the content on that cuz they’re probably one of the only ones that left.

Aleks: I was going to say if you want it captured, it’s tricky. I’ll tell you what one that I did have that was similar that worked well because the photographer and videographer were still there.

Aleks: Um, at Glass House Brooker upstairs was actually during cocktail hour. So, at Glass House Brooker, um, the ceremony’s downstairs and the reception’s upstairs. Everyone was still downstairs for cocktail hour after the ceremony.

Aleks: The couple went upstairs and they did a private first dance and got it captured while everyone was still downstairs during cocktail hour. Works well, so there are little things you can do like that, especially especially if you’re not that keen on dancing in front of everyone doing a first dance.

Eddy: I tell you what, I don’t know about you, but like I reckon at the moment over 50% of my weddings do not include a first dance.

Aleks: Oh, like it’s crazy.

Eddy: I mean, I I’m I’m getting less and less choreographed. I’m getting the, you know, the one one minute, one and a half minute, but we’ve always had our couples have always been keen on not just doing away with it, which it’s great.

Eddy: Um that You do your wedding your way. You throw out the traditions that don’t mean anything to you, which I love. But it does pose a question, well, how are we going to get people on the dance? So, this is just a different question.

Aleks: Yeah. I don’t think it’s an issue. I’ve been telling people that, you know, your MC will still announce, hey, um, bride and groom or groom and groom or bride and bride are going to actually lead us onto the dance floor. Um, I always suggest to do announce it that way. They’re going to kick us off and they’re going to and you get the couple out of their seats and everyone follows. because then you still get get a sneaky photo of you guys.

Eddy: That’s right. And I mean that’s one of the ways to do it. Like um I’ve got one at Post Office Hotel in a couple weeks time and same sort of thing again. No first dance. Um but they want everyone on the dance floor. Okay. Um so let’s sort of shuffle around the cutting of the cake just before dancing starts.

Eddy: Get everyone up onto the dance floor. Do the cake cutting. Boom. Dancing time. So you got that instant energy. You’re not people aren’t peeling off from tables. So this is just such a slow way to get things kind of going and by the time people are on the dance floor, everyone’s on the dance floor. The song that you’ve played as a party start is more or less finished. Um, I digress.

Aleks: Yeah, I had I had the same thing, but it was for a cocktail wedding estate, which I actually put up a reel about and it was cake cutting in the middle of the dance floor with everyone gathered around. Murder on the Dancefloor was the song, but everyone was already kind of very boogie and it was very easy to kick things up from there.

Eddy: Love that.

Aleks: So, yeah.

Eddy: Absolutely love that. All right, move moving on. Uh, Melissa aka Marry Me Mel. Uh, so she’s a celebrant from Newcastle in New South Wales. Newcastle, New South Wales. Um, pay more, do less is her first piece.

Aleks: Pay more to do less. Yeah.

Eddy: Well, you are still doing less. Pay more. Sorry, I’m just kind of

Aleks: Yours was more like an advertising slogan. Pay more.

Eddy: So, sorry. Pay more to do less. Um, I missed out the to. So, I love this.

Aleks: Yeah. It’s never That’s always been true.

Eddy: Yeah, I know. Let your vendors do all the heavy lifting. That’s the one that I’ve heard of a lot as well. Um there’s I mean it speaks for itself really.

Aleks: It does. And look, we always talk about having a professional MC. I really do think that people underestimate this. I feel like couples are more aware of it um because they want everyone to have a good time.

Aleks: Especially our couples, you know, they want a really fun but it’s just like a lot of couples want to have a fun – No, no, but like they I mean as in like they don’t it’s like one less thing to stress like our couples particular are very relaxed and they like most of the time and they just don’t want one thing to stress about which is you know managing your your friend or your rogue uncle or auntie or whatever.

Eddy: If you’re talking MC there are still things that our couples love to do like I’ve had really nice um wedding favours lately. One of them was like um uh personalised coasters for everybody to to take home on their table and just things like that. They becomes a it becomes a little art project um in in the later but it’s like a labour of love and it’s really nice with other ones where um you know the couple have written a handwritten letter for every single person and the things like that definitely do that kind of thing cuz that really makes your wedding unique and it’s just really nice warm thing to do but in terms of I guess on the day which is which might be what Melissa is mentioning um yeah you definitely want to outsource as much as you possibly can so you’re just present and just having a good time with your loved ones.

Aleks: Yeah, of course. So, what you’re talking about is like something that’s super personalised, which comes from the couple. Um, but the MC side, honestly, you don’t need a comedian.

Aleks: Um, yeah, I just think, look, there’s there’s only a handful of weddings I’ve had where, you know, there’s been a friend who’s been an MC, but they have been great because they’ve been so onto it. They haven’t really drank. They’ve been like, “Communicating with everyone,” and you can tell like, “He needs to be on top of the run sheet.” It’s a big ask, but, you know, some people want to do it for whatever reason. That’s fine. fine, but uh more often than not, have a professional MC, ask your celebrant. Most celebrants offer it or ask your DJ. I would say majority of DJs will offer MC services as well.

Eddy: Yeah. And yeah, celebrants for sure. And I I love seeing a celebrant do the MC work because they’ve already established um authority very early on and people are far more likely to listen to them than uh a new – look, if if the MC’s are known to family and friends, it can work.

Eddy: If it’s say a DJ, sometimes if it’s a rowdy crowd, it is hard to get them to kind of settle, particularly the first time, but the celebrants already married them. They’re they’re a huge uh authority figure and it tends to just work smoothly end to end.

Aleks: Yes, agree. Agree. Uh we’ve talked about this a lot and we’ve got a couple of episodes and blogs that talk about MCing as well. Um and the reality I think we’ve got one from a previous season called the reality of the MC role. It kind of goes more in depth about what is actually involved. Um, but yeah, your, uh, and I love what Mel says as well that you and your lover are the guests of honour and not the host.

Eddy: That’s right.

Aleks: Okay, cool. Uh, Elise Bailey has the next one. Who’s

Eddy: Melbourne-based? Yeah. Melbourne.

Aleks: Um, I love this one. Going back to ceremony, she said, “Put names on the seats of those you actually want to sit in the front row at your ceremony.”

Eddy: Now, I’ve said this to you there, it can be tricky sometimes with seating. haven’t had this problem as much as I have. I think that’s just co it’s a co it’s a weird coincidence that I have had this. But um sometimes I find that family members like say older family members that need a seat arrive quite late and if you haven’t assigned those first the first row or the first like as in compared to friends like friends might be there earlier for a drink or whatever and then yeah you have yeah I had I was going to put a reel up but I had an this aunt that was like basically arrived after everyone and she she had to sit in the second row.

Eddy: Wow. She the couple had reserved signs on there, but having the names on there is much better because at this particular wedding, we had lots of reserved signs on the in the first two rows, but no one knew what who they were for.

Eddy: So, like if you’ve got a big family, sometimes family members think they’re more important than they are. So, actually spelling out the names of people that need to be seated just makes makes it so much easier and you don’t and it doesn’t cut into ceremony time. You don’t have to be doing, you know, musical chairs.

Aleks: So, you’re saying that there weren’t any names?

Eddy: There weren’t any names.

Aleks: I thought you said they were but they don’t know much. How many people have the same names in this family?

Eddy: No. But do you know what I mean? Like sometimes you might have like I don’t know if you’ve got a small immediate family but you’ve got really close cousins you might want them sitting down but then you might have like extended like third cousins there that might think that oh well the second cousin’s sitting down so I guess we you know whatever it is. I don’t have any cousins so I don’t know. But um yeah just having the names just just you know plan out who you want to sit in those first two rows.

Aleks: Yep.

Eddy: And then have little names on the It’s like the simplest thing but it has a huge huge effect on again cuz I love logistics. Logistics on the day and just how smooth things

Aleks: Yeah. flow and how quickly you’re then able to to get your couple married.

Eddy: Exactly. And then get to the fun party.

Aleks: Yeah. And get to the fun party part. So it’s um most like you’ve done more ceremonies than I have as celebrant obviously at this point, but um it’s funny because most people really don’t want to sit down in in my

Eddy: Yes. uh in my experience. We should probably have the same thing. And I always use um you know, if it’s if it’s a bride-groom wedding, I always use the groom to just point at people and be like, “Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit,” because the groom’s there. The groom’s usually there standing there. Um and it works incredibly well when I have to do that.

Aleks: Well, and if you don’t, if you’re both walking down the aisle, um which I have this weekend, then nominate someone, nominate, um a family member to be responsible for putting people in their seats. Just give someone that role.

Eddy: Yeah. True. M um but yeah, I love that. Really think about the seating and um you know, it’s something that I have struggled with a bit lately where people don’t want to sit down, they’re too shy or no one really knows who’s meant to be sitting down and you have to kind of and it just cuts into the time and it kind of starts thinking of chaotically particularly if there’s like a seat at the front there that like you know is is free or the family sat down all that kind of stuff and like someone doesn’t feel like they can sit at

Aleks: I know. Well, that’s what happens. That’s what happens. People feel shy or whatever. But that’s that’s cool. We’ll get them sitting down at some point. Um all right, moving on.

Aleks: And um this one I really like uh as well. So Nick Mercy uh from More Than a DJ. He’s a DJ and Brizzy in the Sunshine Coast. Shout out. Uh he’s saying that change of dress for the bride’s dancing.

Eddy: What you said again?

Aleks: Change of dress for the bride’s dancing.

Eddy: I put an apostrophe on the s there.

Aleks: Wait, you just skips it. Have you become dyslexic all of a sudden?

Eddy: No.

Aleks: Change of dress for the bride for dancing. Why did you say for the bride dancing?

Eddy: No. Anyway, she’s going to dance in that new dress.

Aleks: She’s dance in that new dress. No, I haven’t become dyslexic. It’s not just for the bride, but I mean this Nick was giving this example, but thinking about comfort and the practicalities of what you’re wearing for when it comes to the dance moment as well. It does become a fun moment.

Aleks: And that’s not to say that if you’re not a bride that you can’t also have an outfit change to be more comfortable. Go for it.

Eddy: True. Go for it.

Aleks: Yeah. So, change of dress for the bride for dancing.

Eddy: I thought what I said made sense. Honestly, we’ll discuss it later.

Aleks: When I was when I was saying it in my head, I saw the apostrophe. It just snuck in. For the bride’s dancing. What you mean her dancing? As in, yeah, that’s her thing, the dancing.

Eddy: No, for the bride’s dancing. She’s in a new dress.

Aleks: Oh my god. I’m going to go I’m going to wear myself. Doesn’t make any sense. But the bride’s dancing. She’s got a new dress. She’s changed it up.

Eddy: Oh my god. All right. Anyway.

Aleks: Anyway, look, I think Yeah, I think being I think being comfortable, especially if you got something heavy or that restricts your movement, go for it. Put some sneakers on. Get that heavy dress off. I mean, don’t be naked. If you want to be naked, be naked. That’ll be a new trend.

Eddy: That might be a new trend. I think that’s a great one. Also, um, on this point of comfort for the dance floor, JMC Apples. Chris from Melbourne um also added, I love this one, comfy shoes for later on.

Aleks: So, thinking about – Whoops, I just bumped the microphone. Thinking about uh providing some comfy shoes for later on. And you mentioned later on, oh, we’re losing the plot now. But, um for yourself as the couple obviously, but also you mentioned uh cuz we’ve seen things like thongs or jandals if you’re from Kiwi Land. Uh and

Aleks: flip flops.

Eddy: Flip flops. flops if you’re who says flip flops British anyway as well.

Aleks: Oh yeah. G-strings in America.

Eddy: Correct. Yes. Comfy shoes later on. Um but you mentioned the fluffy slippers.

Aleks: I love the fluffy slippers. Um I actually had a wedding again at post office. Uh this is a couple years back now where um the groom he has a shoe company and I mean this is nuts, but um he basically had all these fun awesome fluro kind of sport sport shoes um set up just behind where I well knew where I was kind of sectioned off.

Aleks: Um and then when it became dance floor time uh everyone got like to pick a pair of shoes, put them on and party with them. Um people were people were trying to hide the ones they wanted. So they were cuz I was saying, “Hey, what are you doing?”

Aleks: Oh, you had to you had to like watch.

Eddy: almost police it. Yeah, I had to watch cuz people, oh, I really like these ones and they’re my size, so I’m going to I’m going to put them in a place where people can’t see them.

Aleks: Did they get to take the shoes home?

Eddy: Yeah. It was like a party favour, I suppose.

Aleks: that’s Did you get any?

Eddy: I did not get any shoes. That’s fine, though. All good. Um, I find that my shoes that I wear are dress shoes, but they’re super comfy. I never have s – Want to give a shout out to the brand of shoes, Julius Marlow. I mean, I don’t know. They’re 120 bucks or something. I think crazy.

Aleks: They’re dress shoes.

Eddy: Yeah, they’re nicer, but I would love to wear sneakers more. I really, really would.

Aleks: You have some nice white.

Eddy: I do, but the white these get so dirty all the time. So, I do want to do cuz I know again our friends in America, they they do that and it’s just so so comfy.

Aleks: Well, when we go to the US later this year, no, actually don’t buy in the US. It would be so expensive. Why don’t you just do it? Just do it. Just buy just buy the sneakers. You know, you can just wear them for the reception when you’re DJing.

Eddy: Yeah. Yeah. Really fun. Anyway,

Aleks: I put sneakers on the other day.

Eddy: Yeah.

Aleks: With my dress.

Eddy: I think it’s What’s the big taboo?

Aleks: There is no taboo. Okay.

Eddy: Well, we’re getting closer and closer to the end and I’m sort of freaking out cuz I’ve got I had an hour on my SD card when we when we hit play on on the video side of things. So, I’m just making sure at 42 minutes now.

Aleks: Can I just Can I just do a plea? We’re nearly there, but I just want to do a plea to our listeners because Ed’s angry at me that I’m making us do this on video, but everything’s on video now. And I know it’s very annoying cuz their SD card runs out, but when we post snippets, video snippets of this podcast on Instagram, please like it, share it, save it. Please be useful to you. I want to prove to Ed that it’s worth it. Anyway, No, we’re going to wrap up with one that kind of

Eddy: Yeah.

Aleks: sums up two very good bits of

Eddy: Yeah. And this person’s made an appearance on this potty. Um and also we’ve mentioned his name earlier in this episode. So, celebrant DJ and MC extraordinaire John Edney from Melbourne, who’s actually going to join us in the States for the DJ conference that we’re going to this year.

Eddy: He just sent me another message saying, “I’m so excited to be –” Yeah, he’s Yeah, he’s got a whole crazy itinerary even before and slightly after we get there. We’re just going straight to New York and and New Jersey for the conference, but he’s he’s hopping around all over the place. So, he’s very very excited. Um, and it’s going to be great to great to catch up with him. Um, just another uh Commonwealth representative at the mostly American DJ conference.

Aleks: Yum so he has said, “Embrace the imperfections.” Brilliant piece of advice.

Eddy: Your wedding day is not going to be 100% perfect. You know, at things are going to happen and if you can go in thinking you know what I’ve things outside of my control I can’t control and look weather is a big part of that obviously huge part of that water of a duck’s back.

Eddy: I think at the end of the day you know um if you’ve chosen your vendors well and you’ve chosen a great venue that’s going to look after you if anything happens honestly most of the time you probably won’t even know it’s happened and it will just get dealt with.

Aleks: Correct. Going back to uh Marry Me Mel’s point pay more to do less because

Eddy: pay more do less,

Aleks: pay more, do less. Because um at the end of the day, when it comes to your wedding day, you don’t want to regret, you know, uh not spending that extra little bit of cash to actually make the experience a lot more smooth and easy for yourself.

Eddy: And that extra bit of cash can go and change a dress for bride’s dancing.

Aleks: That’s true. Bride’s dancing. I actually had a um bride change her dress and it looked amazing. And where did she buy it? Shein. I don’t know. It looks incredible. and it was like 70 bucks online or something. So, you don’t spend a fortune. By then, everyone’s had a million drinks anyway, so they’ll think you look amazing. Bit of glitz, bit of whatever, you know?

Aleks: Yeah, exactly. It happens quite often. Um, particularly at our weddings these days, it is quite I totally get it. Like, it’s hard to dance in those long dresses.

Eddy: Speak for. Have you been a bride’s dancing?

Aleks: Bride’s dancing? Yeah. I don’t know. That one down. I never I never wear dresses that that heavy or fancy. So, yeah. Definitely. Um, awesome. We have one more.

Eddy: Next one. Uh, well, we’ve got a lot. I reckon I’m going to get you to read this one out.

Aleks: Okay. So, we we’ve put this um uh we put a post out on a celebrant group on Facebook and one celebrant came back. Her name is Sarah Chippendale. I think she’s from I don’t know where she’s from. Victoria. No.

Eddy: Is it Victoria?

Aleks: New South Wales.

Eddy: I would have thought with this maybe Queensland. Get in trouble.

Aleks: Oh, Sarah. Sorry. But her bit of advice was marry someone with nipple tassels.

Eddy: No, I don’t really.

Aleks: She said she did.

Eddy: Oh. Oh, okay. Well, that makes so much more sense then. So, it worked out well for her. So, I’m happy for you, Sarah, cuz I was just really I was really struggling to connect the dots on this one if I’m honest. But, yeah. Cool. Awesome. I mean, I’ll leave it on that note.

Aleks: Yeah. I think maybe it’s maybe it’s like a metaphorical be like marry someone that that is uniquely you. Maybe that’s uniquely them.

Eddy: Maybe it’s – he’s jumbled his words today. Uniquely you and uniquely them. Unique. Yeah.

Aleks: Yeah. Uniquely you.

Eddy: Yeah. I feel like I’m being torn apart on this episode of the podcast to be honest. I’m going to not talk for the rest of the day.

Aleks: You did well. You did well. Look, thank you to everyone who contributed their ideas. I think we’ll do more user generated uh episodes in the future. It’s fun.

Eddy: I think so, too. I think uh Yeah. All the small things.

Aleks: All the small things. If you’ve gotten one little nugget out of this, um I’m certainly super happy. Hopefully you’ve got more than one, but yeah,

Eddy: it’s Yeah, we you can really go down the rabbit hole in these things. It’s funny because if you’re listening as a a couple that is planning their wedding now, like it’s it’s funny how often we we see these types of things. Um and they just come up again and again and again and again.

Aleks: Yeah. And like now we’re educating every one so they don’t come up anymore.

Eddy: Yeah. So, if we see this again, you’re in trouble. Thank you for joining us as always. Until next time. Bye bye.

Aleks: Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Project Engaged. We hope you enjoyed it. Don’t forget to subscribe and follow us on Instagram. One More Song DJs and Project Engaged. Until next time, see you. Bye.