S06, E9: The ultimate wedding couple survey: Guest lists, family drama, and real regrets

Aleks: Here we go, here we go!

Eddy: Here we go.

Aleks: Are you here? Are you in the room?

Eddy: I am in the room.

Aleks: Well, you should be excited because this is a very, very special –

Eddy: Episode. This is our 100th – just taking a hair out of my coffee. Oh gosh. 100th episode, so Project Engaged has turned 100.

Aleks: Wow, just like David Attenborough.

Eddy: Just like David Attenborough on the same day. Happy birthday, David.

Aleks: Oh, well, that’s very exciting, 100. Wow.

Eddy: I know it’s – yeah, it is.

Aleks: Six years in the making.

Eddy: I can’t believe we’ve gone to triple figures now.

Aleks: Five – five years in the making, yes. Triple figures. When did we start? 2021 I believe it was. Could be wrong. Six seasons, 100 episodes, countless guests. We could have counted. We could have come up with some exciting stats.

Eddy: Well, yeah, we could have.

Aleks: Do you have any? We’ve got close to 12,000 –

Eddy: We’ve got a hundred, a hundred episodes, episodes. I mean, look, it’s a very niche podcast, so we’re not doing crazy massive numbers, which is why we probably haven’t been sponsored by anyone. But the podcast started out as a podcast by vendors for vendors for the first two –

Aleks: Seasons. Yeah, true.

Eddy: And it, you know, flipped once the world opened back up, it flipped to more of a couple-centric couple-focused podcast. So, and I think that’s when we really sort of gathered some steam.

Aleks: Yeah, agreed. Yeah. So it’s more about the planning aspects to help couples out. We still have a lot of vendor listeners, which is great as well. So thank you everyone for tuning in for our hundred episodes. I’m assuming everyone has listened to all 100, no, all 99, because this is the 100th. And we’re doing something special today to celebrate this milestone. And huge, huge thank you to everyone who participated. But basically, we put out a little survey, very, very short survey out on Instagram asking couples who have been married four simple questions. Do you want to go through them?

Eddy: Yes, sorry, and it was – it wasn’t just our couples. So we we put it out there into the internetverse.

Aleks: The World Wide Web.

Eddy: The World Wide Web, you know, one website, really think about it. So we popped it out on Instagram and asked some of our couples and we shared it to our, some of our friends in the industry for them to sort of reshare and some of their couples. And look, it’s – no, we don’t know who answered what. Like it’s all completely anonymous, but it gave us some really cool insights. So here are the questions that we asked. So there’s only 5 questions. 5 questions.

Aleks: 4 1/2.

Eddy: 4 1/2 OK, cool. Yeah. So on a scale of 1 to 10, this is question number one. On a scale of 1 to 10, how well did your actual wedding day live up to the expectations you had? So one could be absolutely terrible. 10 could be the best day ever.

Aleks: Yep.

Eddy: What were the best decisions you made for your wedding day? Please provide a reason for your responses. So this is more of a written answer rather than just numerical. Question number three: What were your biggest regrets? Please provide a reason for your response.

Aleks: Again, free – a free text.

Eddy: Free text box field. Which element of your wedding planning caused the most stress? This –

Aleks: Was a drop-down menu.

Eddy: So this was a drop-down so.

Aleks: We don’t have the options in front of us, but yeah.

Eddy: Yeah, we don’t have the options. We have the answers, not the options which we’ll go through. We’re going to cherry-pick some of the more interesting answers, I think. And look, to be honest with you, a lot of them probably make sense to the listener anyway. And the final question: if you chose other in the question above, please specify. So that does give you the ability to go nuts on that last question.

Aleks: Yes, which some people did where they had strong opinions about things that happened on their wedding day and some didn’t, but that’s fine. But we had a great take-up, so we had 33 –

Eddy: 33 which you know for –

Aleks: Us sample size pretty –

Eddy: Good. Yeah, it’s not a bad sample size. I would say the majority of them would be our couples, but there were some others as well.

Aleks: Well, there were people, there were vendors who have gotten married, they were friends who have gotten married a little while ago. So not necessarily people who had gotten married very recently, a bit of a combination. So it was super interesting and some people really did tell us warts and all. So we asked people to basically give it to us, you know, the good stuff and the bad stuff. Completely, 100% anonymous. So yeah, people were very forthright.

Eddy: They yeah, they’re really relaxing too, which is great. Some really really good stuff in here so.

Aleks: And look, the the reason for it is obviously we want this podcast to be practical and we hope that it’ll give couples who have their wedding day coming up, yeah, some ideas or just like, I think you can get overwhelmed when you’re doing wedding planning and just to step back and go, OK, hang on, let’s look at the big picture. What’s important to us? Let’s not forget why we’re doing this, that kind of vibe, because I feel – sorry, I’m not meant to say the word vibe. I overuse, so does everyone else in the industry just knock the wall. But yeah, so hopefully you get something out of it. We would love to hear from you if you do, by the way. And thank you again to everyone who participated. That’s right.

How Expectations and Social Pressure Impacted Weddings

Aleks: How are we going to attack this? Are we going –

Eddy: To well, I was going to say before we sort of get into it, obviously there was 33 couples. Yes, the average score out of 10 for expectations being lived up to was 8.94.

Aleks: Out of 10, not bad.

Eddy: 8.94 out of 10, I mean, we could, you could almost round that up to 9 really. So 9 out of 10, that’s overwhelmingly positive, really overwhelming.

Aleks: Realistically, well, there was an outlier.

Eddy: Yeah, which we’ll – which we’ll get into. Yeah, OK, cool. So I think the best way to tackle this because we’ve really come into this with with the data, but with really no plan.

Aleks: So happy –

Eddy: Happy 100th. No –

Aleks: Analysis.

Eddy: We’re sort of just sitting here. So I think we we have highlighted some things and circled some things. So we’re going to kind of just start. I think you should sort of kick us off.

Aleks: OK, that’s very nice of you to say that. Yeah, no worries. Well over 50% of respondents gave their wedding day a perfect 10 out of 10, which is pretty cool. Yes, but as you said, 8.94 was the average score, so it was good, but I don’t think we need to talk about that too much. I want to talk about a couple of the themes before we get into the granular kind of responses from people. And I would say one of the things that stood out the most is social pressures and letting other people’s opinion get in the way.

Eddy: Yeah. I mean listening right now for those that are listening, I’m talking directly to you. Yes, you do. Do you think that’s surprising?

Aleks: No, but I think it’s comforting couples. I was –

Eddy: Talking to –

Aleks: Listen. Sorry listener.

Eddy: No. But like you’re right, I think, I think.

Aleks: It’s comforting to couples to know that they’re not alone if they’re feeling that and it’s not your family and your friends.

Eddy: They’re not. It’s everybody’s apparently. And look, you know, some families, it’s actually funny and we’re going off on tangent already, but the couples that we have, and I’m sure they’ve said the same thing to you, that that’s their second marriage and they’re maybe a little bit older. They’re loving it because like, oh, I don’t care about anyone’s opinion.

Aleks: Chilled and –

Eddy: No one’s giving their opinions because it’s the second time round.

Aleks: That’s it. They’re like you do you, boo, because you’ve done it before. So just do what you want this time around and let’s hope that it works out. But no, I think it – look, these external expectations, you know, it’s kind of sad that it can creep in when you’re like, you know, you start off chill with your wedding planning, you’re looking your big vendors, you’re feeling good about it. You remember the reasons why you’re doing it. You get excited when you meet with your celebrant and you’re feeling your questionnaire and all this stuff and then it starts to creep in. You know that people making offhand comments or asking why you’ve made a certain decision. And I think it’s just really important to circle back again to the beginning and why you’re doing this. So you’re not alone if you’re feeling the pressure from unwarranted or you know we are warranted.

Eddy: I mean, everybody has an opinion.

Aleks: Everybody has an opinion.

Eddy: Everybody has one.

Aleks: Rightly or wrongly, I would say wrongly.

Eddy: Rightly or wrongly, well, it’s the right opinion.

Aleks: It’s fair. Opinions are opinions, but subjective is subjective. I would say look where we do see these creep in and it will be, again, no surprise is obviously where you have some financial contributions from family members who decide that actually it’s partly their day too. So setting those boundaries early I think is important.

Eddy: And I think that probably hits the guest list more than it hits anything else from, from, from the experiences or the conversations rather that we’ve had with with couples.

Aleks: Yes, yep.

Eddy: You know.

Aleks: Well, actually it’s – it’s good that you mentioned that because that did tie in the top spot for the things that people found the most stressful. Yeah. So other people’s expectations and guest list.

Eddy: Yeah, managing.

Aleks: The two –

Eddy: Seatings. They are the two that come up the most, which is not surprising that we’ve got this data in our conversations with couples. They really are the – if you’d asked me without doing this, they’re probably the two things I would have mentioned.

Navigating Guest List and Seating Arrangement Challenges

Eddy: Yes, definitely. So some of the specific things people mentioned around, you know, regrets in terms of kind of guest lists and seating arrangements is inviting some family members out of obligation. That was a big –

Eddy: Regret, yeah.

Aleks: For one respondent, I had another one, I can’t find it now, but there was one who said that they had a couple of people who kind of message on the day to say they could no longer make it, which I think is just bloody rude. Yeah, pretty unbelievable.

Eddy: Yeah, message no less.

Aleks: A message.

Eddy: You could at least call.

Aleks: Yeah, pretty shit at the last minute. So yeah, sorry, inviting certain people who in the end message at the last minute to say they weren’t coming, which caused more stress than necessary. Also, you’ve paid for those people.

Eddy: I know. Yeah, not cool.

Aleks: Not cool, not cool. Have a friend who’s getting married who recently told me that she’s had, you know, first cousins RSVPing with their partners who weren’t actually invited.

Eddy: That’s an awkward conversation.

Aleks: Look, I don’t know what to do about these families who just won’t listen. But yeah, setting the bound, setting the boundaries early, inviting people out of obligation – that you say that all the time, don’t you?

Eddy: It’s funny that, I mean, it’s always been a thing, obviously, but when when COVID rolled round and people still got married throughout that period of time, it’s the best thing ever because I can’t invite all these people anymore.

Aleks: True and you –

Eddy: Know. So they were really relieved about it.

Aleks: Yes, yes, very true. So there were, you know, caps on numbers. But this is something that you can do as well kind of strategically. If you’re going to really feel that pressure from your parents to invite, you know, their best friends, colleagues from 20 years ago is if you want a small, tight wedding, pick a venue that literally will give you a, you know, a capacity that you’re happy with. That means that you can’t actually invite those people or choose a format for that particular venue that will mean that you can’t actually have the numbers that you want. Pretty drastic, but if it is difficult to manage, that’s the one way of doing that.

Eddy: And this, this might not suit everyone, but there, you know, we’ve come across instances where they’ve only been a certain amount of people closest to the family at the ceremony, the reception sort of relaxed it up a little bit and there’s more people that kind of arrive after that, that are in that wider sphere, so to speak. So that’s something you can consider if if you know because you don’t want so-and-so’s new boyfriend watching you do some really like personal vows.

Aleks: Oh, totally.

Eddy: You know, but maybe that’s something you you can consider doing.

Aleks: Agree, and in fact this reminds me of our friend Danny DJ who had a wedding recently where the ceremony and the reception were in the same venue. Ceremony was very intimate and the same people were there for dinner, so very small guest list for that. But then it was opened up to a cocktail party, which I think actually I don’t see that often, is an incredible –

Eddy: So, so everyone kind of comes to the party.

Aleks: Comes to the party bit and so you still have like canapes, you still have drinks, but you don’t – like I say you do have those like family friends or extended family. You don’t really want to sit down with them and and you know spend intimate time with them. You can still have a nice dinner and a nice sit down with your first-class people and then still –

Eddy: Have everybody else, yeah.

Aleks: Yeah, and they can still have a drink. You can still have a quick –

Eddy: Chat like in a way best of both worlds. If your parents, and we’re picking on parents here, but if your parents squeezing you to to invite Bob and whoever that, you know, have lived next door for years and whatever, they can still make it. But yeah, it won’t be part of that more intimate, you know, part of the day. Yeah, I think that’s not a bad call.

Aleks: Yeah, I like it. I want to see more of that.

Eddy: You heard it here second. We heard it somewhere first.

Aleks: Yeah, no.

The Regrets of Missing Videography and Battling Weather

Aleks: But yeah, we had a lot of people. So yeah, the biggest regrets, the top 2 spots were managing other people’s expectations and opinions or taking them on and absorbing them.

Eddy: Yes.

Aleks: And guest management. So the guest list, which then translates to having to deal with the seating arrangements, which we all know is a headache and one of the tasks that I reckon couples definitely do towards the end. Not a pleasant one.

Eddy: Absolutely. Yeah. There’s just been some. I’m just looking through the notes now. There’s been so many of those answers. It’s yeah, yeah.

Aleks: We started with regrets and we’ll get into –

Eddy: Yeah. Well, we’re gonna go with the yeah, the negative stuff. Yeah, not negative, but like the, yeah, challenges, the challenges first and then we’ll sort of, yeah, cruise in strongly towards the end with everything else. Yep, definitely. OK, so another big one that sort of jumped up here and there in relation to videography and capturing the day. Yep. So a big regret, and we’ve talked about this on the podcast before, is no videographer warning, videography and even content creation as well nowadays, just moving the moving image a little bit more so they can capture, you know, particularly, you know, photos are obviously fantastic, but videos of like older members of your family and stuff like that, that they might not have a lot of time left and you know, they’re immortalised with these beautiful videos, things like that. So that that came up a fair bit as well.

Aleks: Yeah, definitely. And yeah, the content creator, someone specifically mentioned they got married eight years ago. So content creators weren’t a thing, but they would get one now if if they were around. So that’s that’s interesting. And, you know, just shows how much of a demand there is. And if you are interested in learning a little bit more about what videographers do, because I think some people struggle to make a decision about whether to get, you know, have a professional film or just have like iPhone coverage, which is what you typically get with a content creator as opposed to a videographer. Have a listen to our episode, Episode 8 of Season 6 with Kimberley Moore the videographer because we talk in great depth about what is involved when you’re making a decision about film and live.

Eddy: Yeah, just a self, just a self plug there, little self plug.

Aleks: Of our yeah, of our own very thing weather, yes, surprisingly has come up.

Eddy: The only thing you can’t – you have 0 control over weather. Just nothing you –

Aleks: Know what you have control over actually? Actually having a backup plan and one that you’re –

Eddy: Having well, yeah, I mean it was one of the first questions you should be asking your venue is what’s your plan B? I still shudder to think how many venues that I know don’t have any plan B’s, and more so than that, just the ones that do. And this might be jumping a little bit too far into it, but not calling the Plan B soon enough either. And I can completely understand why you want to make sure. And this is really on the venue making that call and having discussions with the couple before, but just leaving it a little bit too late because then just puts a lot more pressure on your vendors as well. But yeah, weather, you can’t change weather. Get somewhere where there’s an indoor option for your ceremony. Just do it. Totally. And if the venue doesn’t have one, what are the venues you’re looking at? Yeah.

Aleks: Honestly and look, when it comes to because we often talk about outdoor ceremonies because they’re quite common and quite popular, don’t have an outdoor reception.

Eddy: Oh, don’t have? No, no, don’t have an outdoor reception.

Aleks: OK, because I’ve got an example here of someone I – I really felt for this one actually have they had an outdoor wedding. Their biggest regret was having an outdoor wedding. OK, so this is very, you know, this is obviously extremely unlucky, but they had this storm of the century that day. Look up March the 9th, 2010 in Victoria. Not a great day to be a bride. So clearly huge regrets, but their entire wedding was outdoors. So my issue is right with the ceremony. So ceremony pre ceremony, in most cases you can make a call pretty close to. And even if you have to move it halfway through, which we’re not, I’m not proposing at all if it’s looking like it’s dicey moving inside. But if you have to do that, it’s not going to be a huge deal if you have to restart it. But the reception in a long period of time is a lot more involved in the setup. It’s a lot harder so it’s – I think it’s a bigger risk to have an outdoor reception than have an outdoor ceremony. Does that make sense?

Eddy: Absolutely. And I know we’ve both done outdoor receptions in the past. I won’t take them on anymore. Honestly, I just just won’t do it. It’s not just weather, it’s like bugs. It’s you’re out there in the elements, see, you know, not just on the weather side of things. And yeah, it’s it gets cold. It’s cold, I don’t know, look, I can understand it from from a picturesque sort of like watching the sunset, all that kind of stuff. Absolutely beautiful. You can do like a like a dining option outside. I know that Churchill have done in the past, they’ve done sort of the outside for the the alfresco dining. They do that really well, but then it’s inside for the majority of the party. You’ve got more control over your environment environment and it’s honestly like depending on venue, obviously it sounds better as well from a sound perspective. You’re not blasting sound out the neighbours of properties to hear it’s contained. Yeah.

Aleks: Yeah, it can be more tricky. Look, I think there’s a lot of people like the idea of like being amongst trees and that sort of thing. But there are venues. There are indoor venues like for example like Rupert Glass House.

Eddy: Just the venues that we basically name every single week. It’s podcast.

Aleks: Well, there’s a reason for that.

Eddy: We’re not sponsored by –

Aleks: That. No, we’re not. Not yet. Come on, guys. No. But there’s a reason for that. They are stunning, but they’re indoor, you know, so we we never have a problem. It doesn’t matter what the weather does. Yeah, but you, you’re in a nursery kind of environment. You’re looking at indoor jungle when it comes to Rupert. Yeah, why? Like you’re getting the best of both worlds and Rupert has, you know, like an atrium so you can see you kind of have that indoor outdoor kind of feel. Yeah, there are there are venues that you can pick that completely protects you from the elements but still feel. So you still get that kind of natural element or –

Eddy: Yeah. And look, it’s whatever it is, it’s important and it’s like a marquee sort of thing. Just thing, you know, you could look at like Royal Botanic Gardens, you are enclosed, you are protected, but you are surrounded by greenery. So there are there are ways you can I think have best of both worlds. But try not to be outside to your reception. That’s all I’m gonna say. Yeah, because it can get tough, as evidenced by some of the comments here.

From Sprinklers to Photos: Unforeseen Wedding Day Regrets

Eddy: Yep, we had some other. We’ll go over some funny, other funny regrets, because some of them are funny. One of the regrets a couple had who were also worried about the weather. But we’re very glad they they actually had an all weather plan. So even though it was a lovely day, they weren’t happy. They had that beautiful. But they didn’t tell the venue to turn off the automated sprinklers on the terrace and the mister sprayers turned on as the first kiss was being captured in film. Now do –

Eddy: You think that was intentional? Oh.

Aleks: God.

Eddy: Do you think there was a groundskeeper that was unhappy that day?

Aleks: Groundskeeper Willie was not – had – had a bone to pick with the venue. I don’t know. But it look, it’s these things happen, you know, and, and again, we’ll get into the the best decisions, but the venue that you pick is so important because it touches so many parts of your day and part of your wedding. So, you know, choosing a venue where you feel confident they’re on top of absolutely everything because that’s quite a big deal. Like, like you need to be on top of that as the venue. That’s not cool. And, you know, kind of ruined the biggest moment, which is – yeah, yeah. Not very good.

Eddy: Yeah, wow, that, I mean that’s a very specific –

Aleks: Very look, I’m – but.

Eddy: Yeah, I like funny.

Aleks: Specific things that like you don’t really –

Eddy: It’s so interesting that that’s happened, yeah.

Aleks: Yeah, this one’s quite good as well, if you want to read it out or you want me to.

Eddy: You want me to read that one? Yeah, absolutely. OK, so it probably can’t be helped, but we didn’t really get to talk to everyone or take photos with everyone. I did, actually. This was highlighted. We kept the numbers smallish, I think, and we still didn’t get to everyone on the night. Maybe doing the quick photo minute or something like that is actually worth it. Yeah. So we’re seeing a trend now called Photo Dash, whereby it’s usually during the reception, not too far from when people will start to dance, and it’s a great replacement for your first dance. If you don’t want to do one, you basically plunk two chairs in the middle of the dance floor and your DJ or your MC will call groups of people up. Photos and things like that wouldn’t replace conversations that you have with these people because it’s quite a fast moving sort of thing.

Aleks: Photo Dash.

Eddy: Photo dash. Hence the dash. But yeah, I think that’s something that look, it might spike. Oh, I haven’t – I haven’t chatted to you yet. You see you next to me with –

Aleks: A – Oh, I forgot I –

Eddy: Invited things like that. Yeah, so, but it is, it’s funny because I’ve mentioned that we’ve, we’ve kept the numbers smallish, but I still didn’t get to. That’s a tough one. A lot of our couples will go once the dance floor starts, I’m gonna be on the dance floor. You can come and see me there as well. So that’s something to keep in mind as well. But yeah, it’s, it is tough. I don’t think you’re ever gonna get to every single unless it’s a really, really small wedding or quite a long reception. Look that again, depend on the type of venue you’ve got too. If you’ve got a venue with lots of different spaces and nooks and crannies, people can kind of hideaway. If you’ve got a venue that’s kind of one room, again, like a glass house inside, everything happens in the one spot and it’s usually pretty low numbers anyway comparatively, then you’ve got a better chance of kind of getting across everyone. But yeah, it’s it’s a tough one.

Aleks: It is. And look, there’s – there’s things you can do. A couple of people who responded mentioned they were very glad they had breakfast the next day.

Eddy: Or – I love that. Or a –

Aleks: Recovery party.

Eddy: Yeah, Recovery party.

Aleks: So good and you know, you can laugh about the night before, have a good chat with people who have visited. Maybe you didn’t get a chance to chat to. I really couldn’t recommend it more. Even if it’s not a destination wedding, even if people are just from, you know, from Melbourne or wherever you are based, I think it’s worthwhile doing just something really chill like a lot of people do, like a pub, you know, just book a little area at the pub. Like you don’t need to do a huge, you know, mini wedding the next day. Like it can be a very chewed out or in your backyard. Put some drinks on. Very, very simple. I’m just going back to the point of, you know, the photo dash. Another way of getting that done as well is to have the couple run around to if you’ve got to sit down to actually run around to each table.

Eddy: As well, like sit down. Yeah, that’s the way coming on.

Aleks: But another respondent mentioned that they regretted not having enough photos with friends, so they had a lot of family photos. So often after the ceremony you organise to have photos with your family, but you might not necessarily have like an allocated or dedicated time to have photos with your friends, so you might miss out on having that.

Eddy: I was just wondering if that’s something that they had a chat to their photographer about before or whether the focus from the – from the photographer’s side was perhaps getting those family shots. Yeah, maybe that’s could be a communication –

Aleks: Yeah.

Eddy: Thing maybe, I don’t know.

Aleks: I think it’s – look and you would have seen this as a celebrant as well. Like that, that time, like that cocktail hour time, right? Couples often don’t get to enjoy that because of the family photos. Those family photos, if you speak to any photographer or celebrant, they are a pain in the butt. Like, I’m not, I’m sorry, but they are like it’s – it’s.

Eddy: And look, yeah, I, I, I agree. What – the sentiment. I agree. And, and they’re always, you know, when you change your caps like, oh, we’ve got to get this out of the way.

Aleks: We was –

Eddy: Going to get this out like, Oh yeah, we’re going to do this. You know, your ceremony might be done. Everyone else might be moving over to to a bar and it’s like a family stay behind. Let’s just let’s RIP the Band-Aid, get it done. You know, you might sometimes we do it, but like, sometimes you elect a friend to, you know, to have a list and just like, Yep, you guys now. Yeah. Uncle Bob and Auntie Mary, Uncle Bob, Whatever.

Aleks: I hope there’s an Uncle Bob listening to his podcast he’s always mentioned.

Eddy: Yeah, it’s, but on the other hand, the – the parents, that’s that’s what they’re all about. They’re all about that.

Aleks: Look, I am not saying don’t do family photos. I think they’re really important, but a lot of couples will say the best decision they made to have them before, along with the first look so.

Eddy: Before with the first look great. You could you could do them in the photo Dash. You have to explain to your parents what that is first. Yeah. And say we’re going to do in the – yeah, it might not be. It might not be what they’re thinking. And they might be pretty relaxed parents that kind of just go along with them. There are, yeah. There are ways to make it less painful. But yeah, it is definitely something that can be a cause of stress.

Aleks: Yeah, it can be a cause of stress. Also a lot of couples want to enjoy cocktail hour and not having a first look so having so having to squeeze in not only your couple like portraits, especially if you’ve got a winter wedding because it gets dark quickly so you need to get those done during cocktail hour before the reception kicks off. And then also try and squeeze family photos in. Doing all that within an hour and then somehow chatting to people and having a drink. Forget about it like.

Eddy: Oh no, it’s not.

Aleks: Possible you’re not going to squeeze it in so.

Eddy: I would say, and correct – correct me if I’m wrong about you, but I’d say that most of our couples do the first look.

Aleks: Yeah, majority for sure for –

Eddy: Sure.

Aleks: Yeah, and – and getting ready photos. So you get your family photos then as well.

Eddy: Yeah, and not all of our couples will do that. No, But yeah, the first look, yeah. I think people have figured out that they don’t want to leave their own party after, Yeah, after their hitch. It’s such a huge celebration and then you’ve got this huge To Do List after.

Aleks: I can do this photo. I know it’s such – I know.

Eddy: It really brings down the bottom.

Aleks: It’s such an anticlimax after serving, like troubles, like feeling like, you know, excited nerves and –

Eddy: Then good job. Yeah, it’s a good job. It’s a job for everyone’s job as a photographer. It’s a job for whoever’s – I mean, the photographer sometimes use the person like, you know, getting everyone in place and all that, kind of calling all the names. Yeah, it’s. Yeah. And it’s the task for the couple. It’s.

Aleks: Like, it’s funny, isn’t it? Because, like, you pay all this money for a photographer, you want the like, and you like them because of the candid – yeah, of course, incredible raw shots, but like, the family photos are just posed group portraits. Like, I don’t know how else to put it, but it’s funny. Speaking of group, the group photo, are you getting a lot of like photographers who are like, oh, the group photo, It can be hard to wrangle. Get it done straight after your ceremony, like straight away.

Eddy: Yeah, there are some photographers who are really good at the wrangling side of things. And sometimes, obviously if we’re celebrant, we’ll help with that and we’ll of course make the announcements, all that kind of stuff. But some of them, like just grab a mic and go, yeah.

Aleks: Yeah, they’re in charge. I don’t have ladders, step ladders.

Eddy: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I look, yeah, it’s, it’s all a bit of fun. But I think, yeah, that the way that you are able to do things with the limited amount of time that you have on your day that you’ve paid a lot of money for. I, I think you’ve got to really put a bit of strategy behind it to get the most out of it. And I think missing out on your cocktail hour, I just try not to because it’s such an awesome part of your day.

Aleks: Huge part. But listen, if you’re having a cocktail style wedding you don’t need to feel so bad about missing cocktail hour because your whole wedding is a cocktail hour. So that’s the other thing to consider as well. Also, 1 1/2 hour cocktail hours work really well, really well give you a chance to actually come back and enjoy some of it rather than just an hour, which is pretty quick, pretty quick once you get everyone moving to the right spot and –

Eddy: The whole day just flies by.

Unpacking Wedding Planning Stressors and Miscommunications

Eddy: OK, So we talked about bigs regrets, let’s move on to stresses. So we’ll go from regrets to stress. I’m just going to sort of quick fire the ones that I’ve that I can kind of see here that would probably be interesting to talk about. I guess list and seating arrangements jumped out at me. No one likes doing seating arrangements. So you can’t see that person there next to those persons. My parents are divorced, they’ve got to be separate, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. We probably don’t need to go into too much detail on that. It’s it’s pretty, pretty obvious, which is, which is pretty funny. We’ve got a few like I said before the in the other field. So to specify something that wasn’t the typical sort of vendor selection comes up a little bit too. So people aren’t crazy about all their vendors.

Aleks: We’re just having to find vendors and choose vendors is stressful decision fatigue.

Eddy: Yeah, yeah, exactly. I mean, this one’s quite funny, like having a surprise wedding and people getting pissed at me for keeping it a secret. Yeah, yeah. This particular wedding that that was an 8 out of 10. So there were a few things there in terms of the yeah, the – the experience and expectations they had that were that were a little bit off.

Aleks: Yeah, could we just – Could we actually, could we? They’re pretty funny.

Eddy: OK, let’s – let’s dissect this. OK, cool.

Aleks: Biggest regrets for this person?

Eddy: Biggest regrets, not realising how overwhelmed I would feel on the day and giving myself too many jobs to do on the day. Not having an MC run the day, not trying on undies with my dress and having a visible panty line in all the photos look fortunately –

Aleks: What do you have to say about that, Ed?

Eddy: Well, do you know what I will say? Fortunately, with the technology these days, that’s an easy kind of brush gone, but I imagine it wouldn’t have been fun on the day.

Aleks: Yeah, and look, I think the – the the MC and the giving yourself too many jobs as I, I presume the bride, a bride I should say.

Eddy: Well, it could have been a groom. Well, could, yeah, but no.

Aleks: Well, it could have been. I mean, this person getting married could have been an anyway, who knows? Not realising that how overwhelming it is to give yourself too many jobs ties in nicely with the and not having an MC because an MC would alleviate the pressure on having to run around and –

Eddy: Call. So who was making the announcements then, I wonder? That’s –

Aleks: A very good question. Who was this person to identify yourself? No, it’s –

Eddy: Anonymous. It’s anonymous. It’s anonymous.

Aleks: Well, surprise wedding could be. I had a few surprising weddings last year. Yeah.

Eddy: I just can’t believe people were annoyed like –

Aleks: I know I –

Eddy: Mean people. I know people. But –

Aleks: To be honest, I can’t believe they kept us. Like, it’s pretty hard to keep a secret.

Eddy: Because you have to tell some people.

Aleks: You have to tell some people, otherwise they won’t look up. Yeah, it’s your engagement party. You –

Eddy: Have to. I love this one. It’s 2 words and we’re talking about what caused my stress. Jeez, I can’t speak today. Yeah, there’s a reason for that. Yeah. Spousal miscommunication.

Aleks: Yeah, I know.

Eddy: Spousal miscommunication. Let’s unpack that.

Aleks: Elaborate. We don’t know. We don’t –

Eddy: Know. OK, so I guess yeah different ideas things I guess things just weren’t communicated so.

Aleks: Who’s doing what?

Eddy: That was another 8 out of 10.

Aleks: That was an A, so there you go. Interesting. OK. I feel like with some of these regrets, it was just not consider it and it’s just like stuff that crept that you wouldn’t expect really.

Eddy: I mean, we are talking about stresses now. I know we’re linking back to regrets and we’ll do the same thing we did for the last 1. So we’ll go back to the regrets on this one. Sorry to our listeners because we’re jumping around a bit, but hopefully you’ll find it interesting. So do you want to read this one out?

Aleks: OK, yes. So, Speaking of miscommunication.

Eddy: This is the spousal miscommunication 1 yes.

Aleks: Yeah, the one that spousal communication is. Oh, hello, Cashew’s just crawling across the pigs are what Cosmos you –

Eddy: Got – oh, it’s one minute to there.

Aleks: Deal 01 minute to dinner time. Sorry about that mate, you have to wait a little bit longer. So this person said not expect – not figuring out what I expected from my wedding party and communicating it clearly with them before I asked them to be part of the wedding party. That was a big regret. Sorry. There was an assumption there. So this person assumed that they would know what they had to –

Eddy: Do miscommunications and assumptions.

Aleks: And assumptions and how this person and how the couple would be supporting the lead up on the day and on the day itself. Yeah. So it seems like there’s a little bit of miscommunication all around. So if you’re having a wedding party, make it clear what you expect them to do, if anything. Some people are really chilled with their wedding party and all they want them to do is stand up there with them during the ceremony, fluff the dress, carry the rings, have been photos. That’s it. If there are other things that you’re expecting, you need to set those responsibilities out pretty clearly because it’s a little bit unfair to have your, you know, bridesmaids, groomsmen, bridespeople, grooms, people kind of just rock up and be expected to know what to do without being told.

Eddy: Maybe it’s their first wedding, Yeah. Or I mean, yeah, it’s, it’s there’s a variety of of things that could have happened there. OK, let’s go, let’s move on. So another one that I thought was interesting was, and again, we’re talking about the most stress and other what causes the most stress specifying. Yep, unfortunately a lot of mistakes were made which impacted US financially. For instance, the planner tried to charge us for a celebrant and transport. We did not book.

Aleks: Jeez.

Eddy: Our invitations took much longer than planned and didn’t arrive until after our RSVP date.

Aleks: Which you can’t change once you receive –

Eddy: Yeah, wow. Does that mean that they would have had two celebrants? Like what?

Aleks: I know.

Eddy: That’s that’s some excommunication. I would –

Aleks: Say you know what? Also check your T’s and C’s. Yes, check your contract. Yes, read your contract. What’s included?

Eddy: Transport as well, would you not? Yeah, it’s really interesting.

Aleks: Though very this one was kind of made me a little bit sad because the – the wedding planner was the biggest regret. Unfortunately, she complicated things and caused a lot of stress and the invitation being late was stressful too. However, the couple still gave their wedding a nine out of 10.

Eddy: So it’s just that –

Aleks: Yeah.

Eddy: In the lead up sort of look and that’s the thing, you can have some stresses in the lead up and not that I – the stresses come from – from the outside in for usually.

Aleks: Usually.

Eddy: But on the day, everything just is awesome, usually.

Aleks: Somehow, magically, yeah, it happens.

Eddy: I mean, yeah.

Aleks: But I think it’s important again, like, you know, we talked about assumptions before, don’t assume anything. Even if you have been to a few weddings and have spoken to a few vendors, ask what is included. And I’m actually surprised, like a lot of couples, like, you know, have our pre – pre booking video calls with, with potential clients. And I’ll sort of be like, you know, do you have any questions? And couples sort of usually don’t have much. I don’t know if it’s because I talk a lot, but you know, I then go OK, and just in terms of equipment, this is what I come with just so that the expectations set there and couples understand because you don’t know what to ask. So worth doing a bit more research.

Eddy: Yeah, I would say on the whole couples so we can knock at the door.

Aleks: Oh well.

Eddy: I have to go.

Aleks: And check out.

Eddy: It’s really cool.

Aleks: Just I’ll keep, I’ll keep –

Eddy: Keep talking. We’re just gonna keep this recording. I’ll –

Aleks: Keep the potty warm. Well, takes the door what we’re talking about in terms of asking questions. So look, there’s a lot of resources online, so I would encourage our listeners, any couples planning their waiting to actually do the research, you know, putting the questions, what should I be asking the DJ? What should I be asking the venue? What do I need to cover? Like doing – I was, I was just saying while you were out doing your research and actually finding out what questions you need to be asking. There’s so many blogs around. I mean, with now, you know, chat bots. Chat bots, yeah.

Eddy: What are they called? Which is Amazon, by the way, listeners.

Aleks: Oh, what do they want?

Eddy: No, no, usually they just drop it and hit the doorbell. Google doorbell, but they kind of knocked on my eye. But we’re getting a lot of canvassers lately.

Aleks: Oh yeah.

Eddy: So I tend to screen those go away.

Aleks: Yeah. So, yeah, doing research, making sure that you’ve got, you’re armed with the questions that you need to ask. Look, a good vendor will give you – will steer you in the right direction. But yeah, don’t make assumptions. You know, make sure that your DJ has a wireless microphone. I don’t know, I mean what would –

Eddy: What would the main, I know that because we put a lot of stuff out there. We got our pricing out there. We got everything you could learn everything you need to know really about. I don’t really any questions and I’m like.

Aleks: Oh, maybe that’s why, yeah.

Eddy: No, I’m not saying for that, but like I just don’t really have anything that I can think of that we haven’t already covered somewhere. And you got – you got to find it. Obviously it might be on Instagram, it might be mixes, whatever. Like there’s different places on the internet where you can find all that stuff. But I wanted to ask you what is the main question that you get asked?

Aleks: Well, I’m saying I don’t get asked a lot of questions.

Eddy: What would if I just say pick one of the main ones? You would get asked over and over again, what would it be?

Aleks: I think a really common question is around the first dance. OK, and what should we do? Yep. How do we start the dance floor if we don’t want to do a –

Eddy: First dance, OK.

Aleks: Because people are like not sure about a first dance. Yep. The other one is some people don’t realise when you actually play music, so they ask what do you do during dinner?

Eddy: Yes, I never get that question.

Aleks: Yeah, I’ve had it a couple of times. Interesting. Yeah, clearly wildly different couples.

Eddy: Well, no, no, no, no. Mine is usually. Can we give you some –

Aleks: The music that we –

Eddy: Like, yeah, obviously, but it’s funny that it’s not obvious because they’re asking the questions and I don’t know who else to speak. Some DJs just have a list and you can’t go off any tangents. But –

Aleks: It’s a good question to ask how to –

Eddy: Actually, I mean, and then we unpack it obviously on the call, but it is: can we, we have a Spotify playlist, can we share it with you? Because that’s the stuff that we like. Yeah, exactly. So that’s the one that I get asked.

Aleks: Yeah, that is common. Yeah, yeah.

Eddy: Total tangent, I just thought –

Aleks: About tangent, yeah, no, but worth asking. You know, all that stuff, like what kind of equipment do you come with? Because imagine rocking up to your wedding, the venue doesn’t have a mic, and your digger doesn’t have a mic.

Eddy: Apart from the celebrant side of things, I tend never to get asked that. Like what kind of equipment do you come –

Aleks: With no, I don’t get. I just – I – I preempted by telling experience.

Eddy: Okay, so how are you answering that? What would you say? I’m just interested. This is like having a conversation with Alex.

Aleks: Not yeah, we’re just –

Eddy: Having a chat now just yeah chat. Are you going into brands?

Aleks: No, God, no, no, no, no, no, no. What I say is look for the reception, we come equipped with equipment for one main area. OK, Yeah. So I always say DJ decks, booth, 2 speakers, third speaker if we need it, and a wireless microphone.

Eddy: Yeah, we’ll see. Yeah, we have that on. They already know that from email before you –

Aleks: Know. Yeah, exactly. So I think that’s why they’re asked, but I think it’s worth reiterating that because for example, some DJs will include lights as part of their standards. Yeah, of course we weren’t. It’s an additional thing that you can add on that sort of thing as well. Same with MC services, they’re separate.

Eddy: So just to take a step back, obviously it’s probably pretty obvious now we don’t take the same calls with our clients like together. So we, we have different, different times of calls and obviously we run this business together, but like our clients are our own and a lot of the time it’s, it’s almost like we’re completely separate.

Aleks: Yeah, we’re like, how are you today? Hello.

Eddy: Yep, yep. Cool. OK. Back to what this podcast is about. What else jumped out at you? Like, is there anything that you think would be interesting?

Aleks: I actually have a 2 responses that are related that I was like oh a couple of people didn’t get to taste, didn’t do a proper tasting at the venue and regretted that. Didn’t actually enjoy their –

Eddy: Own See, that’s one of the things that’d –

Aleks: Be like, really? I actually know who that was, which is –

Eddy: Tell me after.

Aleks: That I will tell you after and then someone can get to taste their wedding cake. I also regretted that. Go and taste the food.

Eddy: Yeah, yes.

Aleks: Also, it’s one of the most fun bits of wedding planning. A lot of venues will do the like kind of showcase night. So they’ll have their couples for the next three months and they’ll put on one day and you go have your little dinner date and you do your tastings.

Prioritising Top Vendors, Food, and Drinks for Your Day

Aleks: Bed. No expense. Oh my God. Yeah, but you –

Aleks: Get engaged just to go and do all the tastings.

Eddy: Just do all the tastings.

Aleks: You have to be locked in unfortunately to do the –

Eddy: Yeah, yeah. Nothing’s for free. Yep. Well, look, I think we’ve hit a lot of the stresses, a lot of the regrets. Did you want to flip this into a more positive experience for our listeners and talk about the things that were the best decisions?

Aleks: Absolutely, absolutely. Number one thing. Actually a couple of things. But there was a lot of talk about choosing your vendors carefully. Unsurprising. A lot of people were saying, look, there’s someone for everyone in terms of budget and in terms of your personality and the right fear and how important it is to choose those people well and make sure they suit you as a couple because you’re going to spend a lot of time with them on the day and they’re going to make things run smoothly. It’s pretty obvious, but it was mentioned by many, many people and they referenced their spend on vendors as an investment, which is interesting. So people do see it as a worthwhile use of money to actually, yeah, spend all those vendors that, you know, mean the most to you and the most important of your day. So that’s pretty obvious. I mean some of them. Some people actually did mention spending the extra budget on our main vendors. DJ/MC slash slash celebrant photographer specifically.

Eddy: Well, there’s one that says Celebrant slash MC/DJ all combined to one. She made the experience relax, fun, unforgettable and so easy. I’m assuming that was you it –

Aleks: Could have been someone else.

Eddy: It could have –

Aleks: Been Renee the celebrant.

Eddy: It could have been Renee the celebrant, yes.

Aleks: And who else that’s?

Eddy: It it’s either you or Renee. It’s a 5050. Hi, Renee. Either way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that’s, yeah. That narrows it down nicely, actually.

Aleks: Yeah, people talked about the importance of good food and good drinks, particularly having drinks pre ceremony. So a lot of people, I said that was one of the best decisions they made, as well as adding cocktails onto their drinks package.

Eddy: Yeah.

Aleks: Another –

Eddy: One here, hiring a good DJ and surprise saxophone. Yeah, that’s cool. We love a bit of saxophone and not having too many formalities. I think that’s really important as well. You know, you’ve got to have some. Obviously you still need an MC to keep things going, even if it is a friend or family member that you trust. But I think, yeah, not having a stop, start, stop, start. Too many things going on. Letting the night breathe, letting people enjoy themselves.

First Looks, Same Venue, and Relaxed Wedding Day Flow

Eddy: Yeah. And keeping it easy keeping it easy keeping –

Aleks: It easy a lot of people. One of the most common best decisions were having the ceremony and the reception in the same –

Eddy: Venue. Yeah, not carting people around.

Aleks: Yeah, not having a long gap, 3 hour gap in between ceremony and reception.

Eddy: Yeah. Look, some venues, if it is, maybe it’s a certain format that requires a room flip or something like that. You know, think about Welcome to Brunswick, the whole Welcome to Brunswick. They’ve got to be a beautiful beer garden. It’s open to the public, but usually open when the weddings are on. People just head out there, have a pint or what have you, and then come back. So yeah.

Aleks: But that’s different because you’ve got a space to do it, and you’ve got –

Eddy: Yeah, dedicated space. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is.

Aleks: Delicate. It’s in the same venue. I quite like that like and the same thing as Captain Melville. We’ve got an episode coming up with Captain Melville kind of resets –

Eddy: Everything you –

Aleks: Know. Yeah, it does. Yeah, I think, look, I think it’s not as long as people have to adventure fire and you’re putting drinks on for people.

Eddy: Yes, I like this one: having a first look, it calmed our nerves and meant we didn’t have to leave the party at all. And we’ve touched on this obviously in this episode, but I love the calm down nerves part of that.

Aleks: And I see this like in play out at weddings. As a celebrant, I really see the difference between couples who have had their first look. They’re so relaxed. Yeah, I feel really good. And then couples who haven’t are a little bit more nervous. But some people want that anticipation and want that surprise as well. So I’m –

Eddy: Yeah, yeah, no, I agree too. And we got ready together. This kept the morning feeling more relaxed. There you go, relaxed and casual. Only surprise, we seem – seeing me in my dress. So yeah, getting ready together is great too.

Aleks: I like that too.

Eddy: Yeah, it’s it’s, it’s a nice touch and –

Aleks: You know, you get like in terms of the photo, like say one person’s coming down the aisle and one’s waiting and then you haven’t done a first look. You get that kind of surprise, nice photo, whatever. But the first look photo is really is, is even more dramatic than that because it’s just you 2 normally. So I, I love those photos. I think they’re awesome. And the emotion’s still there with the eye. You can still do an eye walk. Yeah, of course. It doesn’t make a difference. It doesn’t dampen. No. I’ll dampen dilute that.

Eddy: I don’t think so though.

Aleks: At all. I love this as well in terms of we’re looking at best decisions that people made for the wedding day. We’re just, we’re just going off the response.

Eddy: Because we’re riffing. Yep.

Aleks: Choosing the right vendors, definitely having an amazing celebrant to set the tone of the day and then an amazing DJ to create the vibe for the night was a huge part of why our day was so special and so us. So important vendors, important vendors in terms of –

Eddy: Setting the time. Yeah. It’s a theme that keeps coming up again and again and again. And we’ve probably talked this to death in the history of this party, but yeah, you just, you go with your gut on your vendors. You know, it’s in your budget. And it, it feels good. It’s it’s probably going to feel the same way on the day itself.

Aleks: Yeah, you know, totally. Yeah. Go with your gut, go with your intuition. Lots of people talking about keeping the speeches short, keeping the wedding simple, You know, just get non traditional, only keeping the traditional parts that we liked having a party vibe and you know that reflecting in how people felt on the day as well, your guests and commenting on how relaxed the wedding was. So lots of that. And that’s kind of, you know, the antithesis to the biggest regress, which was letting other people’s opinions, yeah, and perspectives get in the way and expectations get in the way of what you want to do for your own day.

Eddy: I know it’s your day remember? Yeah another one and they’ve said drinks during the ceremony. I assume they meant sort of pre ceremony.

Aleks: Hey sometimes people people can grab I can have a drink pre ceremony and then grab a glass of wine or a beer for the ceremony freshy.

Eddy: I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah. As in like, they’ve got one in their hands. They’re not like getting up from the ceremony and –

Aleks: Going God no.

Eddy: Getting a beer, I hope. Yeah. So I think that far, far more relaxed ceremonies, the ones where they’ve, you’ve had maybe half an hour, you’ve had a chance to have a drink. Yeah, You know, settles everybody’s nervous because you’re not necessarily going to be the most nervous one there. The people that haven’t been to weddings before, they’re like, what do I do? At least if they’ve got a drink in their hand, if they drink, it’s something you can do. It helps break the ice to have a conversation with someone you don’t know, maybe you don’t know anyone. It just kind of makes things flow a bit bit nicer. So that’s that was what I liked as well.

Aleks: Yep, there’s another one. So we were talking about family photography earlier, This couple said one of the best decisions was not getting hung up about trying to get family photography or coordinate everyone. Immediate family only, and even that was enough.

Stripping Out the Crap: Focusing on Your Wedding’s True Purpose

Eddy: Yeah, OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I can understand that. Yeah, you can see that a lot. So yeah, there’s definitely some themes from this like it’s, it’s it is. Oh, look, I don’t think it’s super surprising what we got back because we, Aleks and I, we had, I think a couple of conversations about what we think we’re going to, you know, receive and it kind of hit the mark.

Aleks: It did, yeah. Yeah. Which is good because imagine if all the stuff came –

Eddy: Back. I know I’m like, wow, I really don’t know anything about this –

Aleks: Industry, we really have no idea what was going on. Look, I’m I’m just having a quick look at the best decisions because you know, this is important. Prioritising abundance of good food, music and drinks. Yeah, the food and drinks. Don’t underestimate that people remember that. Yeah, from a wedding.

Eddy: Well, that’s what’s always been said by certain hospitality groups. You remember the food, booze and the party? Yep, that’s kind of what sticks with you.

Aleks: Definitely. Also, we talked about this a little bit in a previous episode, but reserving, someone mentioned reserving 15 minutes of alone time with your partner just to be together and take it all in. Yeah, cannot recommend this.

Eddy: Big advocate of that and if you can, it doesn’t have to be explicit in your run sheet, but know the times, you know, and one of you know, maybe you know, if it’s bridegroom wedding, maybe the groom will tap the bride and hey, you know, yeah or maybe he’ll forget and and the bride will do the same thing but –

Aleks: Or if it’s groom and groom one of the grooms or both of you.

Eddy: If it’s bride and bride.

Aleks: Yep, Yep.

Eddy: If they don’t want to be referred to as bride or groom, spouse, spouse, spouse. Yep, just basically one person remembering 1.

Aleks: Party remembering? Yeah. Well, this couple actually said you don’t get that time if you don’t put it in the plan.

Eddy: OK, there you go. So they’ve, they’ve been specific about it. Yeah.

Aleks: There was some mention of florals. I just wanted to say sorry, going back to biggest regrets because this is quite surprising to me. He’s going for faux flowers and that was a bit of a hassle not getting real flowers because you had to, you had to finish off the arrangements yourself.

Eddy: Faux flowers.

Aleks: Fake flowers. Yeah, I –

Eddy: Didn’t know that they called them faux.

Aleks: No, I don’t I That’s the first time I’ve seen that actually.

Eddy: Faux flowers. It sounds better than fake.

Aleks: It does.

Eddy: Maybe the flowering the the fake flower industry, the synthetic flower industry came up with that term faux flowers because it does sound quite nice.

Aleks: Now I did say say to you that I had a wedding the other day and I had no idea the flowers were faux because –

Eddy: We’re already using it faux.

Aleks: There were beautiful, beautiful roses like huge an abundance of roses are like wow, this couple of months have spent a fortune on flowers. The reason they look real is because the leaves, the greenery were real. So so –

Eddy: It’s a combination.

Aleks: It’s a combination and it was genius because if you’ve actually looked at fake flowers at weddings, the flowers themselves have the texture of real flowers. They’re velvety. They look real. It’s the greenery that lets it down. It looks plastic. It’s –

Eddy: Shine we there are venues around that have that fake greenery and you can just clock it straight away.

Aleks: Straight away, absolutely, but this combo, the green made it look real and there were roses and the roses were velvet to the touch, like real roses. I was so impressed. We’ll have to put in the show notes the name of this supplier because they were lovely too and they did a great job. So that is something to consider. By the way, if you’re looking at fake flowers, combo is a combo. Have the greenery be real because it does make a huge difference and it’s got a nice smell to it too, so it feels very real.

Eddy: I mean, you’ve just you’ve you, you started with a negative, but you’ve sort of –

Aleks: I turned it around. Turned –

Eddy: Around, yeah, it’s a positive.

Aleks: Yep, Yep. So food, Good food, good drinks. Choose the vendors that are right for you. Do your research. Don’t let other people’s opinions get in the way. Make sure you spend time together.

Eddy: And just don’t forget why you’re doing this. Yes, exactly. Always come back to why are we doing this at the times that it might be a little bit stressful. Uncle Bob’s like, you know, giving his opinion. Bloody Bob, why are we doing this? You know, you’re doing this because you love each other and you want to throw a great party. Yeah.

Aleks: Presumably, yeah, it’s an important milestone and you want to have a good time. If that’s it, strip out all the crap and there you go. I’m going to give a plug to another episode with Jacinta from Champagne Electric, who talks about these, about sitting down and actually talking about your vision and what it is that you want and your values. And I think a lot of people would skip over that and start with the Pinterest boards. It’s so important to go back to that. It’s like if you’re, if you’re doing a marketing plan, you have no strategy, you have no kind of goals and you have no, you know, what is the messaging, what is the, the tone, etcetera. You should do the same at your wedding, you know, approach it like a project together. At least if you agree on those things, you can then split up the more practical tasks of selecting the specific vendors and the specific aesthetic and all of that sort of thing. So huge to go back to the start and be like, why are we doing this? What do we want?

Eddy: Just ask yourself why and –

Aleks: It’ll all be fine.

Eddy: Hopefully so, yeah.

Thank You for 100 Episodes: Project Engaged Outro

Eddy: All right. So there you have it. I think. I think it was good. I think, again, it wasn’t a surprise, but I’m happy. Do you know what their surprise was? Where the surprise was? The fact that we got to 100 episodes that was described. I don’t think that that would happen, but it did. And thank you so much for for our listeners. I know you, it’s a it’s a small pool of you guys, but we really appreciate it. And you know, I’m always jumping onto the back end of the podcast and, and finding out, you know, how many have listened to this episode, that episode, all that kind of stuff. We probably should have come up with some of our biggest episodes of all time and linked them through, but we didn’t. We just focused on what people had to say, which I think is probably the best way we could have celebrated.

Aleks: Yeah, exactly from our community. Now I think people will want a little bit more in depth on some of these insights. So we’ll do quite a detailed blog on the website. So there’s a podcast page on the One More Song website and I will do a quite a detailed write up of this stuff so that you can take it away and apply it to your own wedding planning process. But thank you for joining us once again and until the next episode. All right, happy wedding planning.

Eddy: Happy wedding planning.

Aleks: Why are we awkward at the end of this episode? I don’t know. It’s like wrap it up, wrap it up.

Eddy: Just wrap, just wrap it up. It’s just like, you know, we’re on to a 101 next and then it’s a long time till 200.

Aleks: I know. So we’re like, So what else?

Eddy: What else is new? What else? All right.

Aleks: What’s new with you?

Eddy: All right.

Aleks: Thank you for joining us for next time see –

Eddy: You thanks guys. Bye. Thanks for tuning into this episode of Project Engaged.

Aleks: We hope you enjoyed it. Don’t forget to subscribe and follow us on Instagram.

Eddy: One more song, DJs and project engaged.

Aleks: Until next time, see ya. Bye.