S6, EP2: Answering your top wedding reception questions

Aleks: Your wedding should feel like the best version of you, not a performance and definitely not a chore. I’m Aleks.

Eddy: And I’m Eddy. Welcome back to Project Engaged. We’re both celebrants, DJs and MCs who believe that when you throw out the wedding rule book, you’re left with a day that’s actually fun, authentic and completely true to who you are. This season, we’re sharing the secrets to a celebration that flows naturally, keeps your guests happy and stays focused on what matters. No fluff. No pressure, just great advice for a great party.

Aleks: Let’s do it.

Eddy: All right, welcome back.

Aleks: Oh, hello. We’re starting.

Eddy: Yeah. Well, we’re recording, video is on. Let’s just, let’s just go.

Aleks: Wow. Let’s go video stuff. I know. We’re really, I have to say with this season, we’re really like just getting straight into it.

Eddy: Straight into it.

Aleks: But we did say we would do very, very practical. We’re not doing our like wedding like roundup thing.

Eddy: I don’t have time to waste at the moment. It’s, it’s go, go, go. We’re in the middle of wedding season. We’re in February. It’s business.

Aleks: We do mean business. We’re recording at home as well at the moment. So, yep. So, we got the dining table loaded with cameras and mics and lighting and all sorts of stuff going on. But we’re, you know, we’re on paper though, so meddle too much with technology at the moment. So, what are we talking about today?

Aleks: So, today’s a follow-up to our earlier episode, which was your most commonly asked ceremony questions. So, now we’re doing your most commonly asked reception questions.

Eddy: That’s right. We are.

Aleks: I mean, we could literally do 10 episodes on both of those topics each. And yeah, and this might be something that kind of just rolls when we get more and more questions because, you know, we do get asked questions that we still haven’t been asked before by couples. So, which is great because that means we’re sort of still learning things, new things ourselves when, you know, all that kind of stuff. So, yeah, it’s really, really cool. So, and we’ll hope that this is be, be useful for you guys.

Eddy: Practical, which seems to be the buzz word of this season. I love it. It’s cool.

Aleks: That’s right. Okay, so kick us off.

Eddy: All right, so we’re going to start off with the music and providing a brief to your DJ. We’re going to talk about like our process, but also how DJs do things generally, I think, just in case you haven’t booked.

Aleks: That’s a good place to start. Yes.

Eddy: Yeah. So, music. So, one of the most commonly asked questions is how much input do we have into the music? And I think obviously if you’ve not organised a wedding or if you’ve not ever booked a DJ for an event, you wouldn’t really know how it works. You know, do you have to provide a full list of songs? Like, is that expected? Can you have any input at all or does the DJ do their own thing? Should we talk about how we do it?

Eddy: I think so. Yeah. Let’s uh, well, okay. So, we, we send out a, a questionnaire. We call it the party brief questionnaire. If you’re a longtime listener, you probably know all about this. If you’re a couple that’s booked us, you absolutely know all about this. It’s a questionnaire that runs through everything. So, everything from, you know, a place to upload your run sheet, floor plan, we ask questions about your colour scheme of your wedding. All sorts of stuff.

Eddy: But obviously the main sort of crux of it is, is the music. So, we ask all about your key moment songs. You know, if you booked us for your ceremony as well, we talk about the the aisle song, signing tunes if you’re signing within the ceremony itself, exit song, those kinds of things. And for the reception, because we’re talking about the reception, we, you talk about the, I was about to say the grand entrance. I don’t know why that popped into my head.

Aleks: No, literally everywhere. I’ve been seeing grand entrance.

Eddy: Grand, your grand entrance. I’ve never called it that.

Aleks: I’ve never called it that. I don’t know why it popped in.

Eddy: So your reception entrance, first dance if you’re doing one, party starter. We ask for a couple of songs at the end of the night and just things like that. So that gets you thinking on the big ticket songs which you probably have a good idea about or at least some idea about. And then the music brief in general. What do you want to listen to for the build part of the night and, you know, your dinner, building up to your dance floor? What are your favourite tunes for the dance floor? What are your guilty pleasures? What are the oldies going to like? Things like that.

Eddy: So, it really starts to get you thinking about tunes as a whole. But we also give you resources as well. So, within our party brief questionnaire, and it’s a web page, by the way, so you can jump in and out of it and save it as you go. So, we do have links to Spotify playlists. Obviously, we’ve got a, a plethora of DJ mixes that we’ve done in the past. So, we give you as much resources as you, you can handle really. We might, you know, it might be too much. It might be, you know, just enough, but we give you as much as we can to help you along the way. And of course, we’re here as a resource as well.

Aleks: Yeah. So, uh yeah. So, I, well, just to like delve specifically into like how you let us know your music tastes as well. On in the party brief, we do get you to tick the genres that you want to hear the most. And also, we’ve got some vibe playlists where we’ve basically taken genres that are similar and put them, you know, clustered them together by vibe. So, for example, like ‘Get Funky’ is very much like disco funk, Motown, soul kind of vibe, housey stuff even. ‘Down and Dirty’ is like, you know, R&B, hip-hop, Latin, reggaeton.

Aleks: So that is helpful as well. So, you don’t have to necessarily, because I think some people do struggle with specific songs and artists because they’re like, “No, we really like these genres and that’s kind of it.” That kind of lets you get a little bit more granular and gives us a good indication of the types of, of vibe you’re after and what you do and don’t like. So, I think that helps a lot in terms of that because I do have some couples who don’t provide a list of songs or artists. It’s rare, but it does happen. And they just rely on those two things, the genres and the the vibe playlist as well.

Eddy: So, yeah, it doesn’t really matter how, how musically advanced you are, I suppose. But we’re there to do our jobs as DJs. And even the one thing we don’t really talk about in, in the questionnaire that, that, that we do on the day is we just act as the glue to all your favourites. We, we play certain music for background that suits. We, we play the right songs at the right time for dance floor that suits. Obviously, we, we can take requests as well. And it can go on so many different directions, but we’re always coming back to the brief, the party brief questionnaire as, as a base for all the decisions that we make.

Eddy: You know, that goes to the things you don’t want to hear as well. So, we’ve got a section for that, the things you do not want to play. And you might have seen our ‘do not plays’ pop up on um our socials from, from week to week, which always get a really fun, uh fun little conversation going with some of our couples. But um you’re relying on us and you’re trusting us to do all the stuff in between. So, we get everything that you really want to hear. Um, and we do the thing that DJs do. Read the crowd, play the right thing at the right time, keep an eye going.

Aleks: Yeah. And look, you are, and most of our couples do provide us with a an extensive Spotify or Apple Music playlist, and that’s absolutely fine. We encourage it, I think, especially if you’ve got a long lead up in your wedding. I always say, forget about your wedding. Just think about stuff that you love. Just think about songs and artists and, and genres that you love. Chuck those songs into Spotify playlist. It’s then our job to have a look at that. We use it as an audio mood board of sorts and we say right, if these guys like RÜFÜS, I’ll play this for, for background and they might like this artist or whatever it is.

Aleks: So don’t stress too much about that. We accept Spotify playlist. Most DJs will ask for that as well and it’s basically a list of stuff that you love and request. It’s not a ‘play this in order’. Look, there are some DJs that I, I have heard that will say only allow 20 requests or something, you know. And I think the only time I would put a number on something is if you’ve got like must plays because sometimes it’s hard to squeeze in must plays. Depends on what’s happening.

Eddy: Well, we, we don’t ask for must plays.

Aleks: We don’t ask for them. No, no, no. But I think if you are to provide them, like I wouldn’t want to receive like 50 must plays because that’s really makes our job…

Eddy: That’s going to be tough. Yeah. And basically you’re going, you’re moving the DJ’s focus from, from being a DJ to being a jukebox.

Aleks: Jukebox. Yes. I love that. There’s our sound bite for this episode. Perfect. I think you touched on it, but people ask about whether they can provide a list of songs they don’t want.

Eddy: Yeah, that’s right.

Aleks: Um, obviously a lot of our couples don’t want the line dancy things, anything that reminds them of a primary school disco. So, no Nutbush. No.

Eddy: But that’s our couples.

Aleks: But that’s our couple.

Eddy: Some people love like the Nutbush and stuff and that’s fine.

Aleks: DJ, I was chatting to a couple yesterday who said they went to a wedding and it was played five times.

Eddy: Wow. Five times. So, just four wasn’t enough.

Aleks: Just, just fill out that dance floor with the Nutbush.

Eddy: That’s, that’s crazy. I um, uh, I put it up as a Reel, but I had someone come up to me at my last wedding and say, “Oh, when’s the Nutbush coming on?” Um, because I requested it. Uh, and that’s another thing you can do. You can ask your, your guest via your RSVP to request a couple of songs. And that’s, that’s great for, for couples that maybe um music’s important, but it’s, you know, they wouldn’t call themselves like crazy about music and they want a little bit of input for their guests from their guests rather. Um, which is great because you’re getting some like, you’re getting passive music requests coming in for people, you know, that that, that will dance to those songs.

Eddy: And in this particular circumstance, they didn’t, they’d requested it, but it never came through to me. And that’s another thing. You vet everything that, that you get. Obviously, it’s so awkward, isn’t it?

Aleks: I received a um an Excel spreadsheet from a lovely couple the other day via email. Their wedding’s coming up in March. Uh with all of their requests, all of the requests that they received from their RSVP, but they actually left in all the stuff they don’t want. And in the cells, they said, “Do not play, do not play, do not play.” And I haven’t had that before. I only really get the stuff that they were happy with. So, I’ve got all this intel on all these songs that were requested by all these… I haven’t had a good look at it yet, but it’s, I thought it was pretty hilarious that I got an insight into… I really understand their crowd.

Aleks: So, in a way, I wouldn’t mind if they’re willing to do the work and my other couples doing the same thing because I get, I can go, “Oh, okay. So, the crowd’s really into this, this, and this.” And for me, I’d be like, “Well, how do I, how do I make them happy by playing things?” I know that the couple would like too. So, yeah, how interesting. I would like that. I, I want the, I want the full list.

Eddy: Give me the full list. Obviously, strike out the ones you don’t want. Unedited because I really want, you know, I can get a sense of the crowd. And when I have a good look at it, I might think, “Oh my god, like I’m really not going to make that many people happy.” But, um, it’s, it’s an interesting challenge for me to think, yeah, how do, how do I get these people on my side um given that I’m not going to be able to play? And I think the majority of the requests were, were struck out. Um, there were some good ones in there, too. So, I found that, um, I found that pretty funny.

Aleks: Yeah. So, if you are thinking about uh, you know, asking your guests for requests ahead of time, just enter with caution because we find that most of our couples end up quite disappointed and culling most of the list. And it is a little bit tricky for the DJ because people do expect that they, you know, I have people come up to me. I had a wedding recently where I had several guests come up to me, “Did you get my request? Just like, what was your request? Blah, blah. Oh, no. That wasn’t, unfortunately it didn’t make it to me.” And look, most of the time they… “Yeah. Oh, I, I totally understand.”

Aleks: But circling back to this particular wedding story, um I said, “Oh, it was, it was a request for Nutbush and when is it coming?” I said, “I’m so sorry. I never got it.” Um so they vetted it and you know, the couple obviously, you know, knows that, you know, we’re famous for not playing the Nutbush. Um she beelines straight to the um the bride and, and, and you know, aired her grievances as it were, but just looked at me and laughed. It was quite a funny little moment, but um you know, it’s at the, at the end of the day, people completely understand. Your guests will understand if um most of them, 99% of them will understand that um it’s, you know, it’s a couple’s day.

Eddy: Yeah. And we’re happy to be the bad guy as well.

Aleks: Yeah. That’s, you know, this is what we get paid the big bucks to, to negotiate a way out of it. Yeah. Which is actually a great segue into our next question, which is, do you take requests from guests on the night?

Eddy: Yes. Asterisk.

Aleks: That’s the answer to that question. Of course. Within parameters.

Eddy: You, you, you’re famous for saying uh on, you know, because we overhear each other’s uh video calls uh with, with new couples all the time. Um and Aleks, you’ll say, “Oh, I field requests.”

Aleks: Yeah, I field them. I field them.

Eddy: I think that’s really good because uh you know, uh requests come in pretty hard and fast sometimes and requests can either be something that you know or that’s on the list of no, do not plays. That’s an easy no, you know, that’s, that’s an easy no. And we, you know, often have sticky notes that will be like “this is what they didn’t want” and “oh my god” um and that’s, that can be quite funny. So there can be that. There can be one that comes through that you just know the couple’s not going to vibe.

Aleks: You just know, you through our conversations getting to know our couples we just know that that won’t really fly. So there’s that too. “Sorry it’s not really the vibe for today. Is there anything else that you’d like to hear?” Get some thinking. They might go away and come back and, and say something that you know actually is good. Thirdly um banger requests just not the right time.

Eddy: Yes. Not the right time. You know, I want Mr. Brightside by The Killers. Love it or hate it. Um and the dance floor’s just started. We want to, we want to save that one for last half an hour because it’s going to… you say, “Look, I’m going to play it.” Absolutely.

Eddy: Not the right time. Trust me. I’ll play it a little bit later on. They completely forget about the request and then you see their eyes light up in that last half an hour when you drop that song and it’s the right time to do it. It’s the right energy, you know. Um so there, there’s, there’s that as well. Um any others that you can think of?

Aleks: Um I’m just, I’m just thinking about um, like one way that I’ve circumvented rogue requests that from people that have been very, very persistent and maybe very important to the couple. Like say there’s like, I don’t know like a, a cousin or a sister or someone who’s like will not let you, will be hounding you to play a particular request. My strategy, and I’ve spoken to other DJs and this works really well and the couples are always on board because it’s hilarious, is to get on the mic and I do this… I don’t, try not to get on the mic during the dance floor part of the night very often.

Eddy: You tell me you’re not a hype MC.

Aleks: I’m not a hype MC guy. Sorry about that. Right. I let the music speak for…

Eddy: Yeah. Let the music speak.

Aleks: Um but I quickly jump on the mic and say, “Hey, I’ll get the person’s name. So and so has um requested his song and has promised me they’re going to get in the middle of dance floor and tear it up. Go. Take it away, Bob.” And I always pick up Bob’s like the, the male Karen. Um and Bob will either get in the middle of dance floor and tear it up and it’ll be a moment or Bob will run away and shy away.

Aleks: It will be very obvious. I think the point is you want to make sure you still have the trust of the dance floor. Yeah. You don’t want, I don’t want to play a rogue request that’s going to kill the vibe um without people knowing it’s not really my idea.

Eddy: And I always say um that it’s got to be contextual as well. So you’ve, so you by virtue of the fact that you’ve jumped on the mic and said, “Hey, Uncle Bob’s here. He wants to listen to Back in Black by AC/DC.” And it might be great. You might be a little bit rogue for that particular brief. I don’t know.

Eddy: But you’re getting the crowd sort of on side. People are rooting for Bob to get in there and just absolutely tear it up and you’ve given it, given it context and that’s how you know that like you said that there are the rare occasions we all jump on the mic. And I got another example and this is not necessarily a um like a, a guest request situation but this could, this is like a guilty pleasure song request from the, from the couple that we get ahead of time and it might be something like completely different to the brief.

Eddy: I had one the other day and it was a Nickelback. Um again it was a fun moment so I threw it up on uh socials uh but said hey um you know we, and trying to, trying to limit the time that I’m on the mic obviously. Um, but I quickly sort of gave it context by saying we ask all of our couples what their guilty pleasures are, what their guilty pleasure artist was. And this situation was, “Was Nickelback?” And there was this guy that just lost his mind. And I caught it all on video, which is great.

Eddy: Came, “Oh my god, Nickelback is the best thing.” It was the best thing ever for him. And he just, yeah. And he just was my spirit animal for that song. Um, so, you know, giving it, giving everything context. Um, if you can’t do it musically, like if you might go from song A to B to C to D being the request and it makes sense, then yeah, we pick up the mic and quickly just mention something.

Aleks: And that goes and like you said, that goes for the couple, too. If you’ve got a song that you really want to hear, everyone’s going to get around you. If it’s for the couple, of course, it’s easy for us to jump on the mic, “this is a special song for the couple. Like, please get around them.” Like, that, that’s, that’s far easier than doing it with a rogue guest request. And I would only do that if they’ve really hassled me. If the couple’s like, just let them have their request.

Aleks: I want to make one more point on guest requests, and that is is some couples um you know are very protective of their DJ which I appreciate but they say you know we don’t want you to accept, we don’t want you to take any guest requests on the night. I always say to the couple look I’ve had weddings before where the MC whether it’s us or, or someone else has announced “no no request for the DJ tonight” and I’ve never received more requests in my entire life.

Eddy: It’s like you plant a seed.

Aleks: Well they hear the word request.

Eddy: They might be half listening. Not listening, they heard DJ request. Okay, cool. Yeah, cool. I’m making, yeah, great. Cool. I’m going straight to the DJ.

Aleks: That’s literally what happens. And I always say, let people make requests. Look, there’s some weddings, well, I’ll get one request. There’s some weddings I’ll get no requests. There’s some weddings I’ll get 20 requests. Let them do their thing. You’re paying a professional. We’ll deal with it. Sometimes you get amazing requests and you might have a song lined up to play next and the request that you’ve gotten is better because you know, oh, that’s a, you know, big with the friendship group or whatever. So, let them do it. Let them do it. Let your DJ handle it.

Eddy: Yeah. I mean, that, that was, that was the last sort of point I was going to make with with, you know, do you take requests from guests? So I think I got to, did I get to four or five? One of the two.

Aleks: Sometimes you do get the best request ever.

Eddy: Yeah. And you’re like it’s at the perfect time as well. It’s, it’s and you’re like holy crap. This is, this is the perfect song to, to go to next and thank you very much.

Eddy: Does that happen often? Absolutely not. One in every probably 50 weddings I’ll get that just perfect request. So, and look, another point to make as a side note is your friends know you very well, particularly your close friends.

Eddy: And if you know, it’s hard for us sometimes as DJs, someone comes like you plays, “Trust me, this will go down so well” because I don’t know how many times I’ve been burnt by that. And you know, you get to a point where you just like you’re a veteran and you’re just jaded by that. You’re like, “This isn’t going to work.” But every now and then someone’s like, “Just trust me.” And you for, you know, for better or worse, you do trust them and it goes, it goes nuts and you think, “Why didn’t the couple tell me about this song?”

Aleks: Yeah. But they forget about it, too.

Eddy: Yeah, they do. And the reason that we, you know, you obviously we’re DJs, we should know the perfect song. But the reason that we might not have thought of that song is because there’s so much music and we know so much music and there’s so much going on in our heads that…

Aleks: So much music. There’s so much good music and um every wedding DJ or DJ will tell you driving home after every single wedding, it’s like so many songs I could have played like, like you you know you do a good job he’s like I could have played this, this, this and this why didn’t like… it’s just a curse of, of, of really caring about your job as a, as a wedding DJ.

Eddy: Totally. I agree. Yeah. So I hope that I think that answers um a few questions about music. How much input do you have and do we take request guest requests? They’re kind of the main, the main questions. Like I said, we’re probably going to do a multiple, multiple of these episodes because there’s so many questions that we get asked about the reception.

Aleks: Exactly. Okay, cool. Uh, next big question that we get. Um, and this is funny because the answer is always the same thing. Do we really need an MC?

Eddy: Yeah. So, we’re kind of getting more into like the timeline and the formul…

Aleks: Yes. You. Yes. Like we’ve got, it’s just happening. It’s chill. Like there’s no formulas.

Eddy: Trust me, you, you need it. You need an MC. You just like… I’ll give the perfect example because I get this all the time and I’m sure you do as well. Couple really want non-traditional. They want a big party. It’s a cocktail wedding. Okay, cool. You going to have speeches? Yeah, just a couple of short speeches. First of all, it doesn’t matter how long they are. They need to be announced.

Eddy: Great. Cool. Are you doing an entrance? Oh, yeah. We’ll do a little entrance. Okay, great. Have you got a cake? Yeah. Yeah, we’ll cut the cake. Yep. Yep. Yep. Great. Are you doing your first dance? Oh, no, but we we want to start the dance. We want, you know… great. Yep. Um, do you want, you know, some, something else going? That’s at least five, six announcements, not to mention welcoming people, housekeeping notes from the venue, right? The venue will, you need to do those. That’s important.

Aleks: And look, also, you know, if you got things like a photo booth or, you know, um, Polaroid cameras, whatever it is, you’ve got to announce them multiple times throughout the night.

Eddy: Totally.

Aleks: Because people forget, people like, again, like people aren’t listening most of the time.

Eddy: Absolutely. Well, you got to remind people what’s going on. And people need to be, I always say this to couples, like people like to know what’s going on. Like you don’t want to go, I’m going to be here for the next six hours. What the hell is actually happening?

Eddy: They want to know what they’re in for, what’s happening, when speeches are like, all this kind of stuff. So yeah, you 100 times out of 100 you need, you need an MC. And look, there are things that you can do to keep it more on the chill side. Um like one of my favourite things to hack your, you know, your MC role. And we’ve got a blog just about this. Um and I hate saying anything about hacking anything because I think it’s just a good idea. Um uh is to uh have each speaker, if you’re doing speeches, have each speaker introduce the next speaker. Like little things like that.

Eddy: I think are quite nice and if you really don’t want any sort of formal flare at your wedding and I completely understand that we have so many really relaxed, really non-traditional couples that don’t want like to be like a conference, that comes up a lot. I don’t want to feel like a…

Aleks: Yeah. And um so there are things that you can do to kind of tone it down, make it chill, but you still need someone to at least welcome everybody and to, to run the speeches side of things at the very least. I agree. That’s the bare minimum. But this is something that we do and is really important because I’ve seen it screw up so many times. We’ve mentioned it before. If you have a professional MC like your DJ or your celebrant being an MC, they will also, if they’re good, do like a bit of a heads up before each key moment, right? Like a five minutes heads up.

Eddy: This is really, really important. The other day I was about to announce speeches. I checked with the couple and you know, the groom was nowhere to be seen. The person making a speech was in the toilet like the photographer was having a meal like you need it’s part of the coordination thing as well. So that’s what you get with an MC is, yes the venue will be coordinating but they’re probably busy coordinating staff meals you know all that sort of stuff.

Eddy: The MC role is going to coordinate your photographer your videographer your content creator your everyone making a speech your you know whoever else needs to be involved in each key moment and you can’t you just can’t get away with not having that unless you literally have like a 20 person sit down lunch and there’s really nothing going on. So, yeah, the coordination aspect and the preparing people for what’s to come to make sure that everyone’s aligned, everyone who you need in the room is there and ready to go so you’re not missing any major moment.

Aleks: It’s, it’s the coordination and the communication. They’re the two big, big things. Um it’s not just an MC just standing up there just saying and now this and now that. Um and look, truth be told, if you have asked a friend or family member to, to MC, your DJ is gonna, going to help him like your DJ is going to help him out like…

Eddy: We do co-coordinate anyway.

Aleks: Yeah, we’re going to kind of you know the first thing we do is have a quick conversation with, with the MC. Okay, you know for entrances I’m very much led by you. You announce the names, I’ll play the songs. Don’t worry about me. That’s all… but you know particularly as, as a, I think particular as a DJ you’re not going to let anything happen until everyone is ready. So I’m not going to hand the mic off to an MC to announce anything until I know the photographer, videographer, this setup ready to go. So, I’m sort of stopping that from happening.

Eddy: But if you’re like a, a friend who hasn’t been to a lot of weddings, how would you know to do that?

Aleks: Well, exactly. And that’s exactly right. So, and look, if, if someone from your friends or family groups really wants to take on that role as MC, usually they’re pretty good, you know, um if they really want to do it. Very rare. And look, they might have a role at work that, that involves presentations, whatever it is.

Aleks: So, and they’re usually pretty happy to do it. We will say, “Hey, you can hang up the mic when everyone’s on the dance.” So, we’re happy to call last drinks. We’re happy to call last couple of songs as the DJ, totally fine. Um because that person that’s doing all those um announcements probably wants to relax and have a few drinks and get a bit loose. Totally understand that.

Aleks: Um so yeah, that we’ll still give you a hand. But if you want everyone just to enjoy themselves and and have a great night um and you’re sort of on the fence about an MC, you, you need one for, for starters. And a lot of DJs will take on the MC role. They’ll offer it as an option. Some DJs offer it as, as their complete package. Others will have a package, but you can bolt on the MC side of things. Um, you know, not even at the time you book, maybe a bit later on if you want to make a decision then. So, yeah, you’ve, you’ve definitely got options.

Eddy: That’s a great point. Yeah. So, a lot of our couples will, you know, maybe try and reach out and find someone in their friendship group or their family group to do the role and then um find there’s no one responsible enough or willing to do it and they will add us as MC on later. We’re there anyway.

Aleks: We’re there anyway. And hey, some venues even do it. Um, not many, but there are some venues that, that…

Eddy: I have my thoughts about that, but anyway…

Aleks: That do do it. Um, DM Aleks for her thoughts on the venues being the MC. Uh, if you wish.

Eddy: Please don’t. Uh, cool. So, our next question is, how do we maximise our dancing time? We’re a couple that just wants to let loose, party. The music’s the most important thing about our wedding.

Aleks: Yeah, we really want to have a good time. Um, and how do we make sure that we’ve got… and I we’ll get through, we’ll talk you through what we think is the golden amount of time for dancing. How do we ensure that we’re not pushing eating into our dance all the time and speeches is going forever and all that kind of stuff? I just want to sort of straight off the bat, this is the first thing that I tell couples that have this question is go backwards. So your wedding ends at say uh 11 and you want at least 2 hours of dance floor time, maybe more, maybe two and a half hours of just solid dance floor time.

Eddy: Work backwards. Block that out straight away.

Aleks: Yeah. Block out um from 8:30 to 11 as non-negotiable dance floor time and then work through the progress um backwards. That would be my number one golden rule. And the beauty about that is if things are running a little bit later, you know, um if speeches are push back, whatever it is, and it eats into that, that first half, you’ve still got solid 2 hours.

Aleks: And you might be doing your first dance, if you’re doing one at a quarter to 9 instead of 8:30. That’s totally fine. Within a few minutes, everyone’s on that dance floor and you’ve got a, you’ve got that, that two hours to party. So that would be my number one rule.

Eddy: Yeah. Number one. And look, this goes without saying. I think this is pretty obvious, but get your formalities done before the dance floor starts. Get… obviously. Yeah.

Aleks: Well, you know, there’s, there’s dance brackets, which is like basically where you know before entrée you have a little half hour of dancing that eats into your max your dance floor time, like your solid dance floor.

Eddy: It does. But can I play devil’s advocate on that? And I used to I’m not a huge fan of, of dance brackets dance.

Aleks: No, I’m not. I’m just going to say I’m not. Oh, sorry.

Eddy: The Queen’s England.

Aleks: Yes. Um I’m not a fan of them mainly, but I do, I do appreciate couples that I don’t really want to be the center of attention and are a bit nervous about it and want to get it out the way straight after they enter and…

Eddy: Oh, you mean the first dance?

Aleks: The first dance.

Eddy: Oh, yeah. Totally.

Aleks: So, we’re talking first dance into dance floor, right? Sorry. That’s fine. Of dance floor in general. Um, I don’t mind that at all because that gives, gives you the opportunity to really lift the energy of the room um straight away. So, they do, you know, and most of the time it’s minute or so of the couple and then everyone’s called in and it’s party time really and that’s you know party the night away.

Aleks: But if they want to come in before um after their entrance do a little dance everyone, everyone there around the dance floor, it gives you a good opportunity to play some throwbacks you know from the ’90s back throwbacks I think throwbacks like 70s now throwbacks like 90s but you know I think like throw throwback Ain’t No Mountain and all that kind of stuff great versions of those now. Um some of your, your cold hard classics. Um, it gets the older generation on site as well. So, oh, this DJ knows what they’re doing. That’s, that’s great.

Aleks: So, you get trust straight away, but everyone’s had a chance to boogie for like 10 minutes, a few songs, 10, 15 minutes. It’s not really eating.

Eddy: Not a half hour, not a half an hour.

Aleks: And then everyone sat down. Woo! They’re like, “Yeah, this is going to be fun.” Like the energy is high. So, that would be my only like caveat um for a dance break. But generally up, down, up, down, up, down between meals. No, I just you’re killing time and you’ll find that people aren’t ready and you’ll find because people are relaxed into the conversation at that point too. That’s why I think it’s a really important uh part and this is like first sit down.

Aleks: We were sort of talking here but cocktail is different. It’s a very different energy throughout the night and dance floor will happen well before that was my next tip. Just have a cocktail. Um but you know it’s nice to settle in at, at weddings that are sit down um and have those conversations. You might be talking to someone you who’s a family member that you haven’t talked to for a long time. I don’t know. But um that’s really important.

Aleks: But I think what we’re trying to get to is yeah, just make sure that you’re pretty staunch on the amount of time you want to be on that dance floor and do everything that you can and talk to your vendors about how important that is and they’ll keep things flowing and they won’t blow things out. Um and you know, the venue’s venue is usually pretty good in relation to, to bill service. Again, sit down weddings, cocktail completed, we’ll get to cocktail.

Aleks: Um but the things that, that may blow out a, a their speeches obviously. Um, and that’s why I say always set a time limit on every speaker.

Eddy: Three to five minutes.

Aleks: Give… No. So, give them 3 minutes because if you give them 3 minutes, they’re going to push it to five. If you say 5 minutes, they’re going to try and push it to 10. So, 3 minutes and if they go for five, totally fine. I’m looking at you dads because you always go forever. Um, but uh yeah, so that’s, that’s the, that’s the sort of the rule that, that I would mention to, to mention to your, your speeches.

Aleks: Uh, can I also throw in a and very obvious suggestion is extend your reception. So particularly for a sit down if it’s 5 hours that extra hour that’s an extra hour of dancing potentially and it also means if your timeline blows out a tiny bit you’ve got more flexibility and you’re still not eating into it. We do do a lot of six-hour receptions and I feel like it’s a good amount of time and you’ve just mentioned a word that I wanted to mention myself is flexibility.

Aleks: So you know you can elect to add another hour and obviously that comes at a cost of course for all your vendors um and and the venue obviously. Um but building flexibility around the, the timeline in and of itself if you you have that 5 hour look you know your MC is going to come in check on you how you guys going all that kind of stuff if you feel like you know what let’s just this next um lot of speeches out, I’m ready I’m ready and and of the same on the same token you know do you want to you know um do you want to um wait another five minutes for this or that or like flexibility.

Aleks: Again, with food service, sit down, there’s the least amount of flexibility in that, which is completely understandable. They’re getting food ready at a certain time and it’s hard for them to got to come out. It’s got to be cleared, can’t disrupt speeches, all that kind of stuff. But I think, you know, go in with this sense that, you know, oh, actually, you know, you, and again, uh this is not my uh forte, but uh sunset photos, you know, if you think you’ve got enough, just come on back and maybe you can do speeches a bit earlier or whatever it is.

Aleks: Um, but you come in with, with a bit of flexibility in mind because everything you’re flexible about will ultimately translate into if it’s important to you more time on that dance floor or just, just more like chill time. You know, you might want to escape with each other, just the two of you for, for a bit of a like a chill kind of session before thing the next big formality hits. And I think yeah, building that flexibility in um is is really important. I think it will will serve serve you well. Yeah. So, extra time. Have a cocktail wedding. People can dance whenever they want. Start dancing.

Eddy: Look, I’d like to say that I’d say probably at least half of our cocktail weddings, dancing will start before dancing starts officially on, on the run sheet. And that’s because again, the energy is completely different. Um people are up and about. They’re moving around, swanning around with a glass of champagne. Uh food’s getting carted around to you. You’re not having to be anywhere or do anything like you’re just there. So people will start dancing and the music’s different too.

Aleks: The music’s different at cocktail weddings for background.

Eddy: Yeah. More upbeat.

Aleks: More upbeat. Um you know obviously we play upbeat tunes. We you know we don’t really play ballads. We’re not going to play anything that puts anyone to sleep. But you know when mains are starting to roll out and people are kind of settling in for a sit down. We will knock it back a little bit to suit that the energy energy of the room. So we’re always looking at like what people are doing and and sounds a bit weird to talk about energy, but it’s a big thing about what the DJ does is it plays to the energy of the room.

Aleks: Um, obviously the energy of the room is more upbeat and flow. Things are flowing uh with a cocktail wedding. So, we’re playing more upbeat tunes which leads to breakout dance floors starting at, at any time. So, yeah, I love that so much. It’s so much fun.

Eddy: It’s great. I have two more suggestions. One is um and most of our couple pretty much I would say 100% of our couples do this is have roving desserts. So, don’t make dessert be a course. If you’ve got to sit down, that cuts into your dance floor.

Aleks: I would say that that’s the standard for non-traditional wedding. Well, for even like, funnily enough, I have a wedding this like on Saturday um at the time of the recording that they’re having a sit down dessert and it’s, it’s a, it’s a it’s quite a well-renowned um like restaurant group.

Eddy: Yeah. Oh, well, that’s different. I think but they really want I mean I get it. Like they really want that. I really hope I get it, but I don’t think I will.

Aleks: You do. But yeah, it’s really yeah, it’s a um it’s something they’re, they’re foodies and they really want and that’s, that’s totally fine. I’ve got a 1-hour dance floor, so that’s, that’s the give and take.

Eddy: You better bust out those bangers, mate.

Aleks: Yeah. So, it’s going to be Yeah, I’ve only got 1 hour to set everything up, too. So, it’s going to be it’s going to be, it’s 5 hours. It’s going to be tight. Bang, bang, bang. I’ll be home before I know it.

Eddy: Hey, I just did a 5 hour wedding and that included pre-ceremony, ceremony. Anyway, uh no, and one other thing is consider a winter wedding because sunset photos happen earlier.

Aleks: Yep.

Eddy: As well. Absolutely.

Aleks: So you’re not eating half an hour into potential dance floor time.

Eddy: Yep. Yep. I think that’s a great dancing, that’s the other thing as well. When it gets darker, people more likely to be ready for a boogie, too. So…

Aleks: Oh, definitely. No one more winter weddings. More winter weddings. No one really wants to dance in broad, broad daylight, so to speak. But um unless you’re smashed. Look, it works for us, too, in that um sunset foss are done. Never, never… Uh, a worst thing for, for a DJ uh any DJs that are listening will completely agree with me is, is when the photographers for whatever reason suns said otherwise pull your um couple from the dance floor because then it just basically kills the dance floor and I like why are you doing this? Don’t do this.

Aleks: Um so I’ve had that happen and look it might be for a certain photo opportunity or what have you and I, I, I totally get it and the photos look great but it’ll kill your dance floor.

Eddy: Yeah, totally. Yeah, you’re better off pushing back the start of the dance floor. Of course. Maximise.

Aleks: That had happened to me before and I’ll never forget the photographers that did it. No, I’m kidding. Oh, no. No. Please DM Eddy to find out who the photographer was who did that. Controversial. Um, yeah. So, that’s, that’s there’s that as well.

Eddy: Yeah. Anything else you wanted to add? Maximise dancing time. I think that pretty much covers it. Lots of practical tips in there.

Aleks: Lots of practical tips.

Eddy: Uh, when should we do the first dance?

Aleks: Well, we touched on doing it earlier before. Um, which I think is a great idea for people that are nervous but just want to get out the way, just want to get some of those… It’s your day. You should not entrance cake dance. Bang bang bang. Like awesome. That means you have more time to settle in. Um if you get speeches done quickly, you’re back on the dance floor before you know it for that main um dance floor bracket, so to speak. So there’s that. Yep. Otherwise, uh most of our couples will do the first dance if they’re doing one um right after all the formalities are done and we’re kicking off the dance floor.

Aleks: So everyone gathers around the dance floor, gathers around you as a couple. And that’s something I want to touch on. Um as well. So, bring everyone up to half. Don’t have them sitting at their tables. Um because when it comes time to invite everyone in, you’re getting a really slow burn in terms of people hitting the dance floor and you’re not getting that instant energy. So, you want, you know, you want everyone around. It’s going to make for really cool photos as well.

Aleks: So, I generally have everyone kind of half circled facing me. Um the couple’s in the middle there obviously doing their dance and the photographers in front of me shooting that way. So, you’re getting everyone around you as well, which is really nice. Yeah. Um I’ve got a wedding this weekend where the couple is doing their first dance straight after their entrance into the reception and they’re actually not doing on the dance floor. The dance floor’s quite far away from where everyone’s seated. They’re kind of doing in between tables, which is kind of fun. And I was like, do you know what? That works. They wanted to get it done out of the way. No dance bracket. They’re just doing the first dance.

Eddy: Yep. Sorry. Entrance, cake cutting, first dance and then sitting down going to speeches. Boom. Done. And that’s that’s quite a ways from where you’re going to be, which is why you’ve put another speaker in closer to…

Aleks: Yes. So, we actually just recorded uh an episode all about sound and we sort of touched on on that, but um yeah, so that’s something to, to ask uh your DJ if you’re doing something a little bit different like that. “Hey, um can we have… is it going to sound good? Basically, can we have a speaker closer?”

Eddy: Totally. Yeah. Yes. Good point. You’ve reminded me of that. Great. First hand. So, yeah, two options. Early in the night if you’re nervous, want to get it done out of the way or your photographer videographer leaving before the dance floor starts.

Aleks: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, which is sad. Yeah. Yeah. And look, just have them there for at least 15 minutes. That’s all you need. And that’s another reason why um when things blow out as well, like it really starts to put pressure on, on the photographers because you know some photographers that are happy to just stay for a bit longer. No worries. There are other couples like photographers will come up to me like when’s this happening? I’m leaving this time. I’m like please DM Eddy for the names of those photographers.

Eddy: Oh, I love photographers. Don’t get me wrong.

Aleks: No, I’m joking. No, but no, but they might, they might have been there from 7 a.m. Like you don’t know what how long they’ve been there. They maybe have already stayed an hour extra totally depending on their practice. Yeah. It’s funny though. It does put pressure on. It doesn’t… They’re there for like Yeah. They’re there for a very similar time to the time that the DJ’s there, but like there’s, there’s a, there’s a crossover point obviously. Um every vendor has huge days on wedding day. Huge days. No matter what vendor they are. Um maybe Just Celebrant has the shortest I suppose. Um in terms of just a lot of work in the lead up though, you like on the day, on the day itself Yes. On the day itself.

Eddy: Yeah. Yeah. So, but your DJs, jeez, we’re up we’re up super early. We’re, you know, we’re um packing cars. We’re getting everything ready. We’re going to the venue with, you know, 2 hours at least set up. We’re there. We’re the last one to leave. So, yeah. But photographers starting even earlier than us, leaving a little bit before us. So, I imagine it’s probably pretty similar in terms of just the amount of hours on game day.

Eddy: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, most photographers have like, you know, 8 hour, 10 hour packages. It just depends on And even though you have your DJ for 5 hours that you know it’s it’s it’s a 14 hour day. Yeah, pretty much at least. Uh I think that that covers that. I think we can skip over a couple of these. We’ll do another episode. Um do you provide a mic? We always get asked this.

Aleks: Yes, of course. We have a couple of wireless mics. Um which is handy if um you know there’s a joint speech where people are riffing on each other or what have you, which I think is quite fun. So yeah, we we do have a wireless mic. Um, and a backup wired mic as well. Yeah. Um, and look, the reason that’s important, I think it’s good to have make sure that your DJ is bringing a wireless mic is because a lot of venues do have their own mics. In my experience, most of the time they’re not amazing.

Aleks: Um, and you know, your your DJ sound system, if they’re bringing their own speakers in, probably better. Um, so you’re getting better volume, you’re getting better clarity, which is important for speeches, for you know, family members who are hard of hearing or friends who are hard of hearing or whatever. Um, so it’s we will always have our mic ready as well as a backup. If we’ll put ours on. Um, the one thing to note as well is if you’ve got a videographer who needs to capture the speeches, they can either do it by plugging into the DJ’s like system or the venue system directly or they will also as a backup put a um record around the mic.

Eddy: Most of them do that. Most of them do that. Um, it’s just well It’s, it’s worth I mean some most videographers are okay but some will come up to us like two seconds before we’re doing speeches to ask where to plug in you know we’re like oh well hang on your videographers should speak to your… most of them are great like um but there’s this running joke in the in the DJ community where they’re just like hi where do I plug this in hello my name is Eddy how like who are you who are you no but it’s funny it’s funny um but look…

Aleks: No but to sorry just to note as well because um if you say you start off using the venue’s mic, but then for the second lot of the second speech, you quickly switch over the mic because maybe you’re having issues or whatever and you got a recorder on that. That happened to me last weekend.

Eddy: Yeah.

Aleks: And you haven’t got it plugged in. They haven’t got it. The videographer hasn’t got a backup like a line directly into the thing. You’re not going to capture that speech that Yeah. That that this is a ceremony running through the um venue system, which uh is why when it came to reception, I used my system. Um but the so um I did uh I was DJ, provided a photo booth and did legals only.

Aleks: Um so their one of their really really good friends was running the story. He did an incredible job on that. Really really happy. And use your an example of your script. Yeah, I changed the names and the details and everything, but I yeah I sent look I felt pretty he was you know what do I do? So I look and the structure was the structure was a similar structure to what we and it was great. They did he did like a fast photo all that kind of stuff.

Aleks: I thought it was really good and it worked well but he was having um issues with the with the microphone. I felt so at one point um at one point I ran downstairs um quietly obviously because the ceremony was happening. Grabbed uh my one of my speakers, one of my portable speakers, plopped it sort of another end of the room, got my mic ready, all that kind of stuff. Um before doing that though, I actually handed him another mic from the venue. Sort of like crept in and handed him another mic from the venue and he was still having problems. The poor guy and I was almost ready to like quickly give him another mic. Obviously when I took the initial mic from him and gave him the another one. I took it with the the video videographers recorder on it. I didn’t have time to they use a sock and they put the sock on whatever.

Aleks: Um, but he had a line out um from the venue itself. So, the system that the mic works on, he had a line out to that. So, I’m like, “Okay, he’s going to be okay no matter what mics being used,” but he also had a lapel mic um on the on the… So, he apologised to the videographer after. I said, “Hey, so I’m so sorry. I was I was put in a pretty precarious position there. I had to…” But it’s funny. As soon as I set up that speaker, I was like and the um uh the the person running the ceremony, I can’t say celebrant obviously, but um called me up to do legals.

Aleks: Uh so I was like getting through um the mon the legal spill that we have to say uh and then doing the legal vows with the couple. But I was like, talk about timing. I was dying. Um but like it all it was all smooth like oh like did I say that right? Um I did obviously a lot involved with the mic. There’s a lot involved with the mic and yes, we provide it. We provide a we provide it. Sorry to go on a bit of a tangent there, but we absolutely want to talk about this stuff though.

Eddy: We provide a mic. Um, and when we provide it, we will monitor the levels as well of that mic. So, on our system, you know, some people like to hold the mic uh very close, very low. Um, that’s one thing I always tell an MC. Just just make sure you um ask everyone to kiss the mic, you know, just not kiss it obviously, but nice and close. I blame Hollywood for the way people hold mics because they’re all down here obviously.

Aleks: By the way, you’re like keep moving away from the mic.

Eddy: Ironically, in in movies, you know, you’ve got to see facial expressions mic there. So, that’s, you know, I understand that. That’s what they see on media, but nice and close, but also some people have really deep voices, some people don’t. So, we’ve got to turn the bass up and down on the on the channel that they’re plugged into. So, there’s a lot of things that go on in there’s so much stuff that goes on that we don’t want to bore you with, but um it’s boring. It’s good to know about, you know, and some people grab the mic and they and so quick jumped out a little bit. So, um there’s a lot that happens there. So, some people would stand directly in front of our speaker because that’s the…

Eddy: Well, and that’s another thing I say just make sure that um you’re doing speeches at least 3 meters away from the speaker because you get that like what we call feedback which is a real Yeah. perfect screechy screechy sound. Um yeah, so yes, we we provide a mic. Uh just Yes, we provide a Yes, we do. And most DJs will as well, but worth asking.

Eddy: Um so, last question. Um Um I think for for time sake is uh is it worth adding a sax player? Um very very popular addition.

Aleks: The most popular addition I think I know there’s there are percussionists that can be added. There are vocalists that can be added. We don’t tend to work with percussions percussionists or vocalists um anymore. We used to in a previous life. Sax players absolutely. We’ve got a couple that we work with um that are absolutely fantastic. I always say um We’ve come from an age of, you know, back in the day bands for weddings and we’ve moved on to the age of the DJ now.

Aleks: Yeah. Who knows what it’s going to be later on, but the DJ and the sax pairing is as close to a live band as you’re going to get. And the benefit of doing that is you still hear your favourite song as it was intended to be heard and not some version that a band would. And some bands are absolutely fantastic. Um, but when you want to hear like 50 Cent ‘In Da Club’, you want to hear 50 Cent ‘In Da Club’. Kind of talking about the dance floor part of the night because I do love live music earlier in the day. I think it’s beautiful uh during the ceremony, cocktail hour, etc. But yeah, we’re talking about dance floor.

Aleks: So, our sax players will come in for two hours and I agree especially if you love like you know I don’t know Fred again like dance music or you know I’d love to see a band cover actually that would work really well. So I take that back. Um but yeah no is it worth it? Absolutely. I mean if you’re thinking about it then then yes the the the energy that you get it gives you that kind of like interactive element as well. The guests get a kick out of it. If you can make the sax player be a surprise for everyone, that’s uh a bonus. I mean, we’ve had um Kenny um one of one of the sax players that we work the most with come out of kitchens. Actually, it’s normally always the kitchen.

Eddy: Yeah, it’s Yeah, we we hire we hide them as best we can uh whilst doing a sound check, which is not the easiest thing in the world. No, no. So, yeah, there’s there’s a lot that goes on, but yeah, people really get a kick out of it. There’s a lot of DJs that also play the sax as well, like our good friend Tim the DJ Sax, DJ Emily Gracie, who are siblings, by the way, which is crazy. Um, and he’s got another sibling that also plays the sax, the DJs, and the trumpet.

Eddy: So, they’re like a power family. We we love them. Um, yeah. So, the you know, at the time of this recording, we just had um um an industry event called Wedella last week and Tim uh DJed and he got out his sax and people just love it. So, we’re missing a trick really, aren’t we?

Aleks: Yeah, maybe we should learn sax. Um, so Look, I most of the time, yeah, absolutely. You get bang for your buck. You get add if you can, you know, if you can stretch your budget to to swing it, definitely keep it a secret as much as you can from your guests because they’ll get a real big kick out of it as well when when the dance floor comes around. And, you know, if you’re into those sax bangers like your Careless Whispers and um you know, your INXS tunes, all that kind of stuff, then yeah, they can they can play those as well.

Eddy: They can play those as well. They can also play to anything. Kenny can play to anything. Kenny’s I’ve never been able to catch him out. He’s he’s a freak. Um, so yeah, definitely if you can swing it, no one’s ever regretted it. It’s it’s definitely worth adding a sax player and you’re getting that you’re getting that live instrument alongside the DJ, which I think there’s no better pairing. It’s a great combo.

Aleks: I might piss some people off by saying this, but perhaps percussionist, whatever. My favourite is is the sax and and the DJ.

Eddy: Yeah, I think it works really well. I think if you want to get the most impact and you’re only adding one live element. I think you’re going to get that from the sax. Depending on music brief as well, percussion can work very well. A lot of venues don’t allow percussionists as well.

Aleks: That’s an issue. Yeah.

Eddy: Due to sound uh restrictions, which we’ve covered in another episode. Um yeah, but yeah, so the sax it’s it’s glorious.

Aleks: It is glorious. On that note, I think that’s it. I think we will do another part part two part one.

Eddy: Yeah, we’ve got plenty plenty to get through, but um I think you’ve you’ve just about to head into a uh client meeting. So, it’s potential client meeting. I don’t potential client meeting. So, uh yeah, we’ll definitely wrap it up here. We hope you’ve got something out of this one. I certainly enjoyed these and it’s great because these questions come from our couples. So, they’re real questions. They’re real questions that we’ve been asked and you know, if you know, you may have these questions. You might have listened to this before meeting with the DJ and you’re you’re very armed to have an even deeper conversation with them initially. So, um if you’ve got anything out of this, we’re we’re happy.

Aleks: Yeah. And also let us know what other questions you want us to cover. Any other topics. Yeah, that’s it for now. We’ll see you next time.

Eddy: See you. Bye.

Aleks: Bye.

Outro: Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Project Engaged. We hope you enjoyed it. Don’t forget to subscribe and follow us on Instagram. One More Song DJs and Project Engaged. Until next time. See you. Bye.